Shadow Monger
by Reuben deFlash
Summary: A ghost returns to Remus' life out of the horrors of the War and they both try to recount for their past sins and misgivings, while admitting their true feelings. AU PostWar/MaraudersEra - rated T for safety - R&R please.
1. Prologue Out of the Blood

**Shadow Monger**

_**A/N**__: I know there are a lot of Remus/Tonks fans, and I'll admit I love them too but I've had this Remus/OC story banging about for years so don't hate me._

_The storyline is Sirius had a sister, my OC, Rowan. Anyway, she had to go into hiding before the time of James and Lily's death; however, she was always part of their group, and shared a special bond with young Remus Lupin. Both of them struggle with not being able to see each other, and this short story is told through flashbacks, and documents their feelings for each other after she has resurfaced. _

_Thanks – R & R as always! ~ RdF_

Prologue – Out of the Blood

The Hogwarts grounds were barely recognisable. Bodies of Death Eaters and the Order alike were strewn across the curse charred field. Harry couldn't believe that it was only a year and a half ago that he had played Quidditch here and now the stands were torn; the stage for the most violent battle the Wizarding World had ever known. From where Harry stood the bodies looked like mole hills. He felt sick. He was covered from head to foot in dirt, and blood, and ash, and he could smell it all. He had never felt so unclean. He wasn't even sure if the blood was his own. Hermione limped over to him; her usually emotional chocolate eyes were blank and cold. "Is it over now?" she whispered, in a voice that shook with the turmoil they all felt. Harry looked down to see Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sobbing over Fred's limp body. "Yeah," he managed to say. "It's finished."

The Order was slowing crawling from all directions of the grounds; weary dark figures, heads down and joining to meet in one victorious huddle. Though, it was difficult to feel victorious when so many good people had been lost. Harry saw Lupin holding a witch he didn't recognise, or who was now indistinguishable due to the fresh scars which had marred her face, and lowered her to the ground. Harry ran down from where he stood. "Professor Lupin!" he called out. The man looked around to Harry with relief and a flicker of happiness. "Harry," he answered and they met in an embrace. "You're ok."

Harry stepped back. His old professor had a gash across his forehead and dried blood smeared across his cheek. His clothes were torn and muddy and he looked weary, but relieved that the battle was over, that the war was over. Harry smiled faintly and immediately felt guilty for feeling happy when so many around him had lost someone. Ron looked blankly out into the field; his face a startling white. Ginny, poor beautiful Ginny, tried to comfort her brother George, who's ear was covered in blood.

"Remus!"

It was a faint cry at first, from Harry's right, and it came from a dark figure running towards them. Lupin looked up from the witch he was attending, looking bewildered. "Remus!" the figure cried again, and Harry could see now, it was a woman. His professor stood up straight and began walking towards her slowly. Harry found himself raising his wand. Those of the Order not injured did the same.

"Remus..." she said breathlessly getting closer. Realisation dawned on his face, and Lupin broke into a run. The stranger and Harry's old teacher met somewhere in the middle in a flurried embrace, each of them clasping each other tightly.

"I was sure you were dead!" Harry heard him say.

"It's a relief to see you alive! I thought..." the woman replied laughing.

"Professor Lupin?" Harry heard himself say, before he could stop himself. The man turned to look at him; a flash of resentment for being interrupted creasing his brow. Pulling the woman's arm, he led her downhill to the others. She was covered in grime like them and looked tired. Dressed from head to toe in black, save a barely white shirt, her hair was dark and it curled gently. She had it tied back from her face with a ribbon. Her eyes looked warm and familiar, but Harry couldn't place them as they flickered over him and the others.

"Rowan?" Molly Weasley said, her eyes puffy and red, "Is that you?"

"Yes, yes it's me, Molly," the woman smiled. She looked around, mustering a smile for everyone. She frowned slightly. "Where's Sirius?"

There was silence throughout the members of the Order, no one knowing what to say. Harry felt the old lump in his throat that always appeared whenever someone brought up his Godfather. Lupin looked at her sadly. "Sirius...was killed. Two years ago now."

Rowan's breath caught in her throat and she shook her head. Crouching down, so she hovered on her knees, her hand flew up to cover her mouth. Harry thought she was going to be sick. Lupin bent down slowly to be next to her and placed a hand on her back. "I'm sorry Rowan." She shook her head again and raised a hand. She did not cry or make a sound.

After a few minutes, she rose and stood up straight. Her eyes seemed blank but she saw Harry and frowned. "Harry? This is Harry?" she asked pointing at him, but looking at Remus.

Everyone nodded, but Harry kept still. He had realised now where he had seen her eyes before.

"This is Rowan Black, Harry," Lupin said, as she stretched out a hand and took Harry's. "She's Sirius' sister."


	2. History and Stupidity

Chapter 1 – History and Stupidity

Harry looked out of the window into the snow. The room was quiet apart from the swishing of George's wand as he played with a paper aeroplane. No one seemed motivated to speak or move, just to sit there and silently sip their butter beer until they were told to leave or go to bed. But no one said anything of the sort.

There was the distant sound of fireworks form a nearby wizarding hamlet who were celebrating Voldemort's demise but the last thing any of the Order felt like doing was clanging their mugs of butterbeer together and laughing. Harry looked Ron, who shrugged and nodded in the direction of Lupin who hadn't looked at anyone since they got in, only sat with a small locket and twiddled it in his thumbs.

"Mrs Weasley?" Harry asked the older woman standing by the sink.

She snapped out of her daze that she had been as she washed up the empty tankards.

"Yes Harry dear?"

"Should someone...you know, take her a drink?"

He'd gestured with his head to outside the window where no more than ten metres away sat Harry's last possible family; Sirius' sister. The sister he never knew his Godfather had had, but none the less, she was still the closest thing to a Godmother in his life.

"It's just, it's been over an hour, she must be cold...and we've all had one."

Mrs. Weasley smiled. "That would be very kind Harry, but I think she really wants to be left to..."

"Let him take her a drink."

The sharp command came from Lupin in the corner, who barely looked up to say it.

"She's used to the cold, but she'll still be thirsty, Molly."

Harry nodded, and Mrs. Weasley flicked her wand dumbly, with the same haunted expression she had worn all evening. A mug appeared in front of him and, wrapping his fingers around it, Harry pulled it out of the air.

Closing the door behind him and leaving the silence there too, he began to feel the cold straight away, yet this woman sitting in the dark seemed barely phased by it. She was playing with a small ball of fire, which she quickly extinguished when Harry coughed loudly.

"Butterbeer," he said handing it to her. "Thought you might like it." The fireworks were louder now and the wind seemed deafening in comparison to the endless hush of indoors.

She nodded. "Thank you Harry."

There was something warm about her voice that seemed familiar, and then Harry realised it was the soft tone hidden that Sirius used to speak with.

"Are you cold Harry?" She asked after noticing him shivering quietly.

"A little."

"I can do something about that, but you'll have to come closer."

Harry inched forward in the snow apprehensively. A fire appeared before them, and Harry suddenly realised he would never get used to the convenience of magic.

They sat quietly for a long time until Harry felt he should say something; however his companion turned to him.

"Where is his body?"

Harry looked at her wide eyed. "Sirius' you mean?"

"Yes, where is it?"

Harry looked at the fire. "At the ministry, it fell behind a curtain, made of mist. I heard voices every time I was near it but I never heard Sirius..." He trailed off, feeling the well-known lump in his throat once more. He sniffed.

"If you knew Sirius, you must have known my father?" he said changing the subject.

She looked at him with her dark eyes. "Of course. James was a very close friend of min. It was Sirius, James, Peter and I for a long time. Even before your mother."

"And Remus," Harry added.

She looked away. "Yes. And Remus."

Harry looked at her. "If you don't mind me asking, what is it with you two? You looked so pleased to see each other and now, well, now he's barely said anything to anyone all evening. I would have thought he'd be out here talking to you."

She turned to him. "Just history Harry, that's all it is."

"And stupidity. On my part." They both looked to see Lupin standing a few metres away, and coming closer. He looked sheepish and had his hands buried in the pockets of his cardigan.

"I think we've all been stupid at some point now, haven't we?" Harry looked at her as she said it, and saw her eyes change as she spoke to him, briefly, only a flicker; of something warm, that vaguely resembled joy.

Lupin gave a weak smile. "Harry," he said softly. "The others are heading up to bed. I need some time to speak to...Rowan. Alone." Harry nodded and smiled at Rowan, who touched his hand lightly. "We'll talk tomorrow, I promise," she said, the corners of her mouth turning up. "If you're anything like your father, you'll want to know everything and anything I can tell you about myself, him, your mother..." Harry grinned, which felt good but took him entirely by surprise. "I'm a lot like my dad," he smirked, rising. "Goodnight to you both."

He ran back to the house. He wished his cloak wasn't at Hogwarts. He'd give up the Marauders Map to hear that conversation.

***

Remus sat down beside Rowan and stared into the small fire before him. It was a cold night but he felt very warm, and he could hear the blood pounding in his ears as he tried to formulate some words, anything at all, on his tongue. He felt 17 again; tongue tied and blushing. That familiar feeling of wanting something he wasn't sure he would let himself have, and not being able to touch someone who wasn't there. It was all preposterous; she'd only just walked back into his arms. But now, now the circumstances were different perhaps. And after all, the past was in the past.

"Remus."

He snapped out of his own thoughts and looked at her. She looked beautiful, even in the cold snow, and the dark night.

"Sorry, I was thinking."

"Some things never change," she mused. "You look well. Are you well?"

"I'm afraid I'm a lot older than I used to be. We haven't all aged as well as you." He gave her another weak smile, which she returned with a confused gaze.

They sat quietly once again.

"I'm sorry."

Remus looked at her. "Why are _you_ sorry?"

"I've not been a very good friend. For not being around when Lily and James..." she trailed off.

"You couldn't help that," he tried to say but she shot him an angry glare.

"I should have gone to their funeral at least. I was a coward."

"You were a wanted witch in Voldemort's eyes; he would stop at nothing until you were dead and besides, you were much more use to Dumbledore as a covert agent." She shook her head. "Admittedly it was difficult not knowing where you were and when we could see you. But there was taboo on your name!" Remus said. "You _had_ to cease to exist. Suddenly turning up at the funeral would have jeopardised the Order and everything they worked for."

"I know," she said.

"It's me who should be sorry," Remus sniffed. "I've said and done things to you in the past that I've regretted and in light of this entire war, well..." He paused. "I've had many years to think and I ask forgiveness. I was only a boy."

"I'm afraid I don't' know what you're talking about."

"All the times I upset you, or we came to blows. Our friendship suffered because of my stubbornness."

"Yours? Wasn't I supposed to be the headstrong one?"

"Yes. And the violent one." She waved a hand. "Yes, alright, we get the idea." Remus smiled.

"You were always the quiet one," she mused. Remus scoffed. "Quiet as in ineffective. I never acted on anything I felt and I let everything pass me by."

"Nonsense."

"All the same," Remus said, in a dismissive tone, "I treated you badly on more than one occasion. You were one of my best friends and it was unacceptable."

"We both behaved like fools," she said so quietly that Remus wasn't sure he was supposed to have heard her. He understood her meaning however.

"It seems like eons ago we all met," he said wistfully. She laughed and ran her fingers through her fringe. "That's because, dear Remus, it _was _eons ago."


	3. The Marauders Meet

**Chapter 2 – The Marauders Meet**

**Past Times - 1970**

Eleven year old Remus Lupin sat quietly on the seat of the Hogwarts Express fiddling with the buttons of his duffle coat. He was already pretty sure no one was going to like him; the first years would smell "werewolf" on him like a pack of dogs, and the irony of _that_ wasn't lost on him either. Dumbledore, his headmaster, had been very patient and kind, making sure Remus could attend the Wizarding School alongside everyone else, and promising absolute secrecy. But Remus, already wise and aged beyond his years, began to feel ordinary eleven year old insecurities like 'would anyone like me?' and 'will I fit in, or will I stick out like a Muggle in Diagon Alley?'

The worry was starting to make him feel sick, and he hadn't been able to eat any of the sandwiches his mother had made. He probably wouldn't have eaten them anyway; she once again, so soon after the full moon, had made him cheese, and she wouldn't listen when he said he couldn't stomach it. People kept running past his apartment in the carriage, laughing already. Remus slumped into his seat, muttering to himself. Suddenly, the door slid open, and a boy tumbled through who was more jet black hair than anything else.

"Whoa," he said breathlessly, "it's like running away from a head of hippogriffs out there! They're absolutely bonkers!"

Remus, shell-shocked, wriggled up on his seat and gave a weak smile. The boy was only a first year because he had that look of excitement and wonderment, rarely found as intense on the other years. However, he was quite tall for his age, and wore dark rimmed glasses, that looked slightly wonky. He had already pushed them up his nose twice since coming into the apartment. His eyes were a startling hazel, and they looked so bright, Remus couldn't help but absorb some of the enthusiasm the boy had just by looking at him. Remus found himself staring at the unruly mop of dark hair on his head.

The boy followed his gaze by looking up, and suddenly tried to flatten it with his hands. "Sorry, it just does that sometimes. It's like it has a life of its own, but I think I'd look at bit of a stiff if I bothered to comb and stick it down!"

Remus laughed.

The boy sat down opposite. "First year?" he asked.

Remus nodded. "I'm Remus Lupin."

The boy stuck out his hand. "James Potter." Remus took his hand and shook it gently.

"What house are you hoping...?"

"Gryffindor. All the way. Slytherin isn't my thing, I am definitely not a Ravenclaw - they're goody-goody's and I might die of absolute boredom in Hufflepuff."

Remus was relieved to be speaking to a wizard born child instead of a Muggle; it meant he didn't have to explain the housing system.

"Me too," he said grinning animatedly. "My uncle Forris was a Hufflepuff and everyone hates him because he goes on and on about the rise and fall of the troll empire."

James Potter snorted and fell back into his seat. "When does that trolley lady come round; I'm starving. All I've eaten is some toast, a bowl of cereal, and my lunch Mum packed."

Remus laughed and offered him his cheese sandwiches which James devoured. A little while later, the boys were sharing jokes, and Remus was rolling about the carriage at James' tale of a witch, a Skrewt and a grindylow.

The sound of voices coming down the corridor made James sit up and listen.

"That'll be her!"

"I hope she has chocolate frogs." Remus called out.

James pulled the compartment doors open, but the disappointment on his face was obvious when he called back to Remus, "It's not here, so no chocolate frogs."

"I've got some," said a voice from the corridor Remus couldn't see. "Do you need some desperately?"

James gave a wicked grin, and invited whoever it was to sit with them. Two boys walked in to join them; the first boy as tall as James, with dark hair nearly shoulders length, the second boy was even smaller than Remus and looked quite thin, with a chubby baby face, and he was very nervous. His light hair was gelled down, in exactly the way that James had been talking about earlier. He gave a weak smile. "I'm Peter." He said it in a shaking jittery voice. "Do you two want to be Gryffindor too?"

Remus nodded, but diverted his gaze back to James and the other boy, who were examining chocolate frog cards and laughing about something.

"This is Sirius," James, with a mouthful of chocolate, pointed to the dark haired boy who was grinning wildly. "We met briefly in Diagon Alley while I was getting my books and stuff. And this is Remus, Sirius."

"Wotcha," said Sirius sitting down. "I hear you like chocolate as much as me. Mind you, I'll eat anything."

"Same. Except cheese."

"Nah, mushrooms for me."

The two boys grinned and laughed, and James and Peter sat down near Sirius.

"Peter smacked into me at the end of the carriage as I came out from getting changed." Sirius gestured at his uniform. "And our trading cards got all mixed up."

"I _know_ I had two Merlins!" Peter exclaimed, making the other boys laugh at him.

James looked around. "Where's your sister Sirius?"

Sirius shrugged, but then looked worried. "She was getting changed, but she won't know which carriage we've gone too." He got up to go look for her. "Well, I'll see you guys at the sorting if I can't find her. If I do, I'll bring her back."

Remus looked at James. "It's ok; she's cool. She was buying a new broom when I saw her," said James seeing Remus' nervous expression.

Sirius slid open the compartment doors, poked out his head, and suddenly shouted, "Ro! I'm here." She must have said something because his face fell, and he said, "I know, I know, but I've met some people....Yeah, I know that..."

"Well, it's not like you even hung around Sirius. I mean it doesn't take me long to pull on a pair of tights and a skirt."

A young girl appeared at the doorway, arms folded. Remus hadn't thought about it before, but now he realised they must be twins, because they had the same shoulder length, dark hair and the same stormy grey eyes. From behind they would be virtually identical. Sirius' sister's eyes were narrowed and accompanied by a dark frown as she glared at her brother. Remus supposed that for a girl, she was quite pretty, even though she was almost as tall her brother.

"Why don't you come meet everyone?"

She pushed past him into the compartment and gave a little wave to them all before slumping next to Sirius.

"How are you Rowan?" James asked pushing a bag of Every-Flavoured Beans towards her.

Rowan shrugged, and took a handful of beans, and regarded them before eating the entire handful. Remus laughed, which made her look at him, mouthful of beans. "Sorry," he mumbled "it's just...I do the same with my beans," and she gave him a weak smile, as if to say "it's ok."

Sirius sat down and introduced her properly as Rowan Black, his twin sister, and soon enough they were all talking again. Remus noticed that no one seemed entirely keen on Peter, but everyone listened patiently as he spoke absolute nonsense. Rowan's hostility towards him surprised Remus, but it didn't seem that obvious to anyone else. Her downcast mood, they all discovered was because Lucius Malfoy was being "a completely idiotic and prepubescent son of a troll" and had pushed her over as she's left the changing compartment.

"You got one over him, though?" James asked. Her wicked smile, and a black-eyed Lucius walking past the carriage a few moments later answered the question and made them all cry with laughter.


	4. Friends Of Sorts

Chapter 4 – Friends of Sorts

" Aberhern, Francis!"

This was the first name called out in the Great hall. All seven years of the students of Hogwarts were seated round the house tables, apart from the new first years that stood in a terrified huddle at the front, waiting to be called. It was the Sorting and after a song from the battered hat (which some of them had expected, while those who were Muggleborn or had lived in a box for their eleven years looked absolutely horrified that a hat could even move), their headmaster, a wizened old man with a long beard, who Remus knew to be Dumbledore, stepped forward and began to call the names from a piece of parchment.

"Nervous Pete?" James asked, looking the pale boy up and down, who was shaking a little. Peter shrugged and waved a hand. "Not _really._"

Francis Aberhern sat down on the stool expectantly and winced slightly as the hat was put upon her blonde head. "Hufflepuff!" it cried immediately though it had barely been there for a second. Applause erupted, which echoed all around them. Remus shifted nervously where he stood. He wished his turn would come soon but 'L' was a long way yet.

"I hope we're all together," whispered Sirius to his twin.

"Asher, Polly!" and then a "Ravenclaw!"

"Me too," Rowan murmured, pulling her long hair back into a ponytail. "Fat chance of that though right?"

Sirius looked grave, but he knew exactly what she meant. They came from the Black family, a long line of pure blood Slytherins and anything else would be unusual to say the least. Rowan and Sirius had known their fate for a long time, since they were very young. For them to all be together, James, Peter and Remus had to all be sorted into Slytherin with them, and five minutes conversation with any one of those three boys would tell you they were not heading there.

"Benson, Amber!"

"Ravenclaw," Rowan whispered. "Ravenclaw!" the hat cried and the girl scampered off with a grin.

"Black, Rowan!"

There were murmurs from the first years, and the older years, when her name was called out. "Shoe in for Slytherin," one boy muttered. She saw Lucius give her a hopeful smile which she ignored. Bracing herself, and climbing the steps carefully, she perched herself on the stool and drew a deep breath. She felt the heavy cloth before she heard its inquisitive voice in her mind.

"_Hmmm....ah, yes, your family are all Slytherins aren't they? But you don't want to go there do you?_ it asked her. _Not really, she replied. "Hmmm, you're not very fitting for a Slytherin either. Clever but not cunning, brave but not proud of where you've come from..." _She was about to object. _"Outspoken, certainly. No, no, the best place for you is..._Gryffindor!"

Rowan stood up to the applause which was quieter than it had been with the other students so far. Her brother looked stunned, Malfoy looked sick. She smiled at Sirius and shrugged, as his name was called out. She had barely sat down at the unfamiliar table, surrounded by people who were eyeing her peculiarly, when she heard the hat cry out "Gryffindor!" a second time and her pale brother strode over to the table to sit opposite her. He looked shell-shocked and leaned in close to her.

"Mum and Dad are going to slaughter us, and paint the house in our blood."

"Sirius, gruesome much," she said, nervously wriggling on the seat. "They will won't they?"

He nodded. "We're dead to them." And suddenly a grin broke across his face and he laughed. "Maybe they'll disown us!"

Rowan copied his smile but realised she was shaking. "This has never happened before. Never," she repeated, and then groaned. "Now Regalus is going to be an even bigger _Golden Boy_, seeing as we've betrayed the family name." Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, true, but I kinda don't care."

They looked back to the front in time to see a red-headed girl running down to their table. Another Gryffindor. She sat near to Rowan and beamed. "Hey," she whispered. "I'm Lily." Her eyes were a bright green that sparkled when she talked. Rowan smiled in return. "I'm Rowan, this is Sirius."

"The Black Twins?"

"Oh," Sirius said pulling a face. "Our reputation precedes us."

"Not at all," the girl laughed. "I just heard some people mention you. Besides, I make my own opinions before I cast a judgement." She looked back at the Hat. "I'm kind of new to all this."

"Oh, are you Muggleborn?" Sirius asked politely.

"Yes, I'm the only witch in my entire family. So no pressure," she tried to smile. "I'm worried I'll be awful!"

Rowan uncharacteristically reached out and touched the girl's hand. "Some of the greatest witches in history have been Muggleborn. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Lupin, Remus!...Gryffindor!"

Sirius punched the air and laughed. "Only two more to go," he said animatedly. Lily looked at Rowan. "You're waiting for your friends?" Rowan nodded.

Remus walked over, sat beside Sirius and grinned. "Wow," the sandy haired boy laughed. "That was weird." He gave Rowan a shy smile and introduced himself to Lily.

"Pettigrew, Peter!" A long pause. "Gryffindor!"

"If I'm honest, I thought he'd be a Hufflepuff, but I'm glad he's...Peter! Go Lion, eh?" Sirius was tackling the blonde boy and pulling him to the bench.

"Potter, James!" Lily wrinkled her nose for a second and crossed her arms; it was Remus who noticed first. "Do you know James?" he asked.

"Yes," she said haughtily. "We met on the train." The others exchanged looks. "I mean, we hadn't even got to the school and he'd already asked me out? Who does that?"

"James Potter, nice to meet you," the scruffy haired boy said, sliding in between Rowan and Lily and extending a hand towards the red head. She made a noise and stood up, before storming off to the other end of the table. "Wow, you er...really have a way with the ladies, James," Peter smiled.

Finally the hat finished on "Young, Damon," and the feast could begin properly. Wildly ravenous, Sirius filled his plate up and ate until he was entirely full. Everyone seemed welcoming towards those who had been inducted into their house, and having already made friends on the train had made it a whole lot easier. Remus was very quiet, Rowan observed, and seemed thoughtful. James was no more in depth than a carbon copy of her dear brother; loud, funny, a bit of a trouble maker but loyal and sweet. Peter agreed with everything they said, right down to which type of potato he preferred.

"Roast potato. The King of all potatoes would be roasted," James said piling more of the said vegetable onto his plate. Peter and Sirius nodded, with full mouths. "If potatoes had monarchy," Remus added.

"And chips!" Peter said once he's swallowed. "Chips are amazing. Totally versatile."

The others laughed at him and turned back to their plates. "What about you Remus?" Sirius asked. "Fave potato?"

"Mashed potato," he replied.

Sirius smiled. "That's Rowan's favourite," he said, pointing at her with his fork. "Except Mum won't have it in the house. She _hates_ it."

Remus nodded and looked at Rowan briefly, before joining the next discussion on which is better, chocolate or fudge. He won that argument by telling them all that chocolate had healing properties (he himself had eaten it to recover faster each month since his father discovered that fact) and smiled at their astonished faces.

An hour later they were in their separate dormitories; the boys were pillow fighting already and putting up posters, and the girls were talking very quickly about what they were looking forward to most. Lily liked the sound of Charms. "It's what I'd always though magic was like so..." she said sheepishly, being the only Muggleborn surrounded by people who already knew they were headed for the Castle someday. Rowan was a little concerned seeing as she had already sent her owl, Romulus, with a letter to her parents and knew without a doubt she would be greeted by a Howler in the morning. "Don't worry," Audrina, one of the girls who shared the room. "As long as you're happy right?" She nodded and tried to smile.

The room was large and homely, although it was very simply furnished and a roaring fire cast flickering lights across the objects in it. Rowan found that immediately she adored her bed at first sight, a great big four poster with dark red curtains and pillows that, when her head finally touched them, welcomed her into a contented slumber.

*****

Present Day

"You know," Remus laughed," I can still see your expression when the hat called out Gryffindor, and Sirius' too moments later. Like a mixture of relief and absolute horror," he chuckled.

Rowan laughed with him. "Oh, we were terrified what our parents would do but...we didn't care either. We'd always been the 'black sheep' as it were...or maybe that should be, the 'white sheep'...but," she continued through Remus' peals of laughter, which were so good to hear again," somewhere growing up we had gained some morals, from Merlin knows where and it never sat pretty with us. You know, what our parents did or believed. I mean Regalus was as thick as thieves with them for a long time, but eventually he switched too."

"My first night at Hogwarts was such a conflict for me," Remus mused. "I was so happy to be there, and I'd friends which, as you know, was one of my big fears. That I'd be alone. But I was hiding this big, oppressive secret and I spent the next three years in the same way; wondering when you'd all find out and what would happen."

Rowan smiled sadly. "Yes, but we didn't care."

"You easily could have. People with sense or value on their life _would _have," he said in a stern voice.

"Come now," Rowan replied. "Don't try and lecture me now for what happened in the past. "We cared so much for you that there was little you could do to put us off being your friend. Short of turning out to be Voldemort, I guess." She smirked. "But then again, Peter wasn't far off that mark," she said bitterly.

"Rowan," Remus said gently. "None of us could have known..."

"I know." She sighed. "I know."

"And he proved himself throughout school to be loyal and...Well, none of us could have denied his devotion to James and Sirius. I think that's why it came as such a surprise."

"You're right, of course. I think back to when we found out you were a werewolf," Remus winced, "and how understanding he was."

"That's because, he already knew what it felt like to be an outsider," Remus said softly, gazing at the fire before them with a sad expression.


	5. What Friends Are For

_A/N: I apologise now for the length of this chapter; I wrote a lot of this ages ago and it's been difficult to link it and make it flow. This is long because it spans the discovery of Lupin's condition and the animagus thing, which in this is about three years. I've condensed it though so hopefully it won't take three years to read! Hope you enjoy it!_

Chapter 5 – What Friends Are For

Remus struggled up the steps to the common room and leant against the wall as he gathered his breath to utter the password to the portrait. "Juxtaposition," he managed to say wearily to the Fat Lady, who looked down on him with pity. "It ain't getting any easier is it son?" she said, swinging open. "No it is not," he muttered.

His initial reaction to seeing them all there; Rowan, James, Sirius and Peter, staring at him as he wandered into the large common room, was a sinking suspicion that it was all about to get so much worse. The day of his greatest fear had arrived. He could see on their faces they wanted to confront him, his friends of three years. He drew a deep breath. _It's ok_, he told himself. He'd rehearsed the way this would go a thousand times on a thousand sleepless nights.

"Guys," he said steadily, though he was shaking a little."You're up early." A glance at his watch told him it was just shy of four thirty in the morning. Rowan glanced at her brother's watch and nodded. "So are you," she pointed out gently.

"Ah," he said, smiling faintly, moving across the room gingerly to sit down. It was too soon after his transformation to exert himself, and standing for prolonged periods was included in that. He just wanted to crawl into bed, but he supposed this had to be done.

"Is something the matter?" the fourteen year old asked, hoping there wasn't, that perhaps they had trouble sleeping. All of them.

"Yes," James replied. "You've been lying to us."

Remus swallowed. "I have?"

"No one's grandmother is sick every month around the same time," Sirius said with a faint expression of bemusement which crippled Remus. He'd rather they didn't laugh at him. Hatred he was prepared for.

"And you're not the type of guy who sneaks out early morning and late night to see a girl," Peter said. "These two are, but you're not."

"Ok," Remus began. "Fine. What are you accusing me of?"

"We're not _accusing _you of anything," Rowan said crossing her arms. "We _know _that you're a werewolf."

The word made him flinch and sent a familiar shudder down his spine. "A what?"

"A werewolf? A man who transforms into a wolf every month when the moon is full. Don't act dumb, Remus, it doesn't suit you," James said.

The boy looked down into his hands, his body aching with more than physical pain and when he could finally bring himself to, he looked up into each other their eyes. "Fine, yes. Yes, I am a werewolf. I sneak out every month and stay in that Shack just off from Hogsmeade and I wait there until I'm sane and human enough to come back." He sat back. "Well done. You're all amazing detectives."

They looked at each other, confused by his tone, which was cold.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to rest. I'll speak to Dumbledore in the morning and have myself allocated to another dorm. Or room if that would make you feel better, somewhere else at least." He sighed wearily, fighting tears. "I understand, really I do."

"Remus," Sirius said frowning, "What are you babbling on about?" He looked at the others. "Is he making sense to any of you guys?"

"Don't mess around with me," Remus pleaded. "Have a little respect for the friendship we had please."

"We _had_?" Rowan said, looking incredulous. "You're ditching us?"

Remus looked confused. "No, you're ditching me."

They all looked at each other once more. "We are?"

"You're not?" Remus said quietly.

"No," James said looking at him as if he were stupid. "Why would we do that?"

"Stop a second, my head is spinning," Remus muttered, shaking his head and brushing his hair back. "You still want to be my friend?"

"Aw, jeez, thanks Remus," Peter said with a sigh. "Great opinion you have of us. 'Oh yeah, our best buddy of three years is a werewolf, better get rid of him'. Because we _are _that shallow."

"_Of course_ we still want to be friends," Rowan said.

He looked up at her with confused eyes. Shock raged through his body. "Well, you shouldn't!" he said loudly.

"Why?" James laughed.

"Because it's dangerous. And I know you, you'll want come running around with me and that's out of the question. I can't control myself when I'm like that and I could bite you."

They all snickered.

"This is serious! I'm very dangerous!" Remus said, completely exasperated. They all walked over to him and sat him down on the sofa. "What we're trying to say is..." Sirius began.

"We don't care," Peter said. "You're our friend and we'll care for you no matter what. Even if you're more than a little hairy."

Remus looked up at the blonde boy who was smiling at him kindly. "I don't understand; I assumed that if you ever knew..."

"...we'd desert you?" Rowan smiled and laid a hand on his arm, sending a jolt through him. "Never."

"We Gryffindors are fiercely loyal," James said in a deep voice, banging his arm across his torso.

"But," Remus stopped. He had never planned that his friends would accept him, he had merely waited for the inevitable and now, here they were, embracing him and his terrible condition with open arms. "You have to take this seriously. I _am _dangerous. No joke. When I'm transformed, one bite and you're like me and it's not...fun."

Rowan laid her head on his shoulder and James draped his arm around them both. "Look mate, we get it. But we just want you to know, that you could be a Skrewt and we'd still want you around."

A suddenly, for the first time in a long time, Remus felt thankful. It was one thing to have great friends but for those friends to want him for who he was? That was more than a little cool. The teenager let his shoulders relax and he gave his first real smile of the morning. "You have no idea what this means to me," he murmured. All rising, Sirius began to yawn.

"Ok now the confrontation is over, can I go back to bed? It's just I don't _need _to be up for at least another three hours. At least."

Remus nodded. "I need to rest. I'm a little drained," he said weakly. Rowan helped him up and said good night where the staircase split. He watched her go with a curious expression before turning to his friends at the top of the stairs and thrusting his hands into his pockets. The dim candle light only made him look wearier he supposed. "You're going to want to come out with me, aren't you?" he smirked at the boys.

"I can't believe we have to wait a whole month!" James groaned. "A month! Torture."

Remus shook his head. "It'd be good to get some help, you know, for you guys to bring me some clothes. I try to do it myself but sometimes they get shredded." He looked sheepish.

The boys stifled a laugh because they were next to the dorm and other boys were sound asleep in the stillness of the early hours of the morning. "It must be awful," Peter said sadly. "I don't know how I'd cope." They became sombre very quickly.

"Obviously, this is not something I want broadcast around Hogwarts," Remus said hurriedly, glancing about and looking over the edge of the balcony down to the fire place. "I'd like it to be kept secret."

"We'd never tell."

"You three don't have a great affinity for secret keeping."

"Yeah, but this is important!" James said with a grin. "As if we'd treat it lightly." He glanced at his watch. "Come on; let's catch some precious z's before triple Potions tomorrow." He made a noise in his throat that sounded like a sob but then opened the door with a smile.

"Come on, wolf man," Peter whispered as they entered the pitch black room where the other boys were snoring softly. "Don't...call me that," Remus said tiredly, with an amused tone.

"Actually, think about it," Sirius said stopping and hissing in the dark. "Remus is the only one of us who's had real facial hair!"

*****

Three Years Later

It was night time in the Gryffindor tower and Sirius, James, Rowan and Peter all sighed as they fell back into a large sofa. The fire was still crackling mildly in the hearth and the warmth was comforting on their icy skin.

To anyone else who might have come down and seen them at this moment, it might have seemed that a group of popular sixth years were sneaking back in from some jaunt. It was well known that Sirius and James, as brilliant as they were, were known for causing trouble and bending the rules. It was also well known that Peter would follow them wherever they went, even if it was to the stars. But to these sixteen year olds tonight held another meaning. It was a full moon.

Sirius closed his eyes as he leaned back. "It's so hard to watch..."

They all knew what he meant. The harrowing transformation of their best friend Remus, into a creature that was both feral and uncontrollable wasn't easy to witness. Least of all for Rowan. She had seen him change many times, but as her feelings grew for him, the more it hurt.

"I wish that we could be with him," James said quietly.

"Don't be stupid," Peter squeaked. "He'd kill us."

"No he wouldn't," Rowan snarled. "He does have some control."

"I think Petey's right, Ro," James said. "We're just humans when he's all...moony. As much as I hate to believe it."

"I want to make a cure," Sirius murmured. "He looks worse every month."

They all nodded in agreement. They were exhausted. It was the same every month since they had found out about Remus' condition. They helped sneak him out of the castle to a place where he could transform; a pathway beneath the Whomping Willow lead to a shack where Remus could wait the full moon out. Every month Rowan repacked a survival and "returning" kit; fresh clothes, food and drink, his wand. Sirius and James kept watch for students, or teachers, although they were sure Dumbledore knew that they were involved. Peter risked his life each time to touch the knot which froze the violent tree, a task that was proving ever more difficult as he suddenly grew a little taller. Even Rowan had to admit that Peter behaved like a Gryffindor when the moon was full.

"It's just," James continued. "I hate to leave him alone."

They all nodded silently, before Sirius slapped James' thigh and rose to go to bed. It was late and the next few days of worry would be even more exhausting.

*********

When Remus returned to school a few days later, his face was even paler. Though he was barely sixteen, he was often mistaken for a final year. He looked aged. He tried not to talk about it too much, but it was obvious it had been a rough change. They all knew it was supposed to be painful but new scratches on Remus told them it was different this time.

"There is still the tiniest portion of me left even when I'm a wolf," he whispered in the library to his friends, "but this time I had to bite myself...I thought I was going to leave and hurt someone."

They all shuddered with fear.

By mid-month he was back to old Remus again, laughing quietly along with his friends, almost carefree. They were sitting around a table outside when Sirius ran over to them. Rowan could tell he was excited about something; his face was bright, his eyes wide and his body almost shaking. She put down her apple. "What's up?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," he said, even his voice reverberated with the enthusiasm he had caught from somewhere. Remus too was eyeing him from his seat, but he looked down at his watch and sighed. "I have to go to Runes," he said. "See you guys later."

No sooner than Remus backed disappeared into the castle, Sirius sat down and laughed.

"I've had an amazing thought," he began.

James patted him on the back hard, and smiled. "Good for you! I knew it's happen one day Sirius."

Sirius shoved him but couldn't contain the infectious smile he had. Even Peter was grinning.

"What is it Sirius?" Rowan asked again, curious now.

"Do you know," he said leaning in, "what an animagus is?"

"No," gasped Peter, looking at the others.

"What you getting at, Black?" asked James.

"Oh no," Rowan said frowning, having quickly grasped what he was on to, "you're kidding me right?"

"I am being entirely serious."

"But we aren't old enough! We have to get a licence and all sorts of legal requirements and the ministry will know we're not 18..."

"Or..." Sirius began. "We could do it ourselves."

Rowan sat open mouthed. "You can't be serious."

James raised an arm. "I'm sorry, but what are you guys talking about."

"Animagus!" Sirius laughed. "The ability to turn yourself into an animal at will."

"But what my dear brother is proposing is doing it _illegally._"

Peter gasped and looked worried, because although he did it often, he didn't like to break rules, especially rules that could send him to Azkaban.

James looked concerned too. "The reason for this escapade being..."

Sirius looked at him like he was stupid. "Remus," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry, I don't follow you mate."

"_We_ can't be with Remus when he's in his wolf form; it's too much of a danger, agreed?" They all murmured. "And as much as I love the guy, I don't fancy getting hairy every month like he does."

Peter swallowed hard.

"But animals...now, werewolves won't attack animals."

"They won't?"

"No, I've researched it..."

"You're flunking care of magical creatures!" Rowan scoffed, but now she fully understood her reasoning, she was beginning to grow warmer to Sirius' crazy idea.

"I've got the potion instructions on how to do it..."

James looked hesitant. "Come on, man, it could go horribly wrong."

"With me and you? Top of the class!"

"Well," James said smiling.

"It's _illegal_," Rowan hissed.

Sirius looked at her. "I'm aware of the implications. But Remus is my friend, and I want to be with him when he goes through the most difficult things he has to face."

They all sat quietly until Sirius said. "We don't have to do anything straight away. Let's think about it. But don't mention it to Moony. He'll only try and completely talk us out of it."

***

Remus returned after another full moon, drawn and unhappy to find his friends whispering about something. Rowan looked worried, and her brow was furrowed, Sirius was debating something. Peter looked as he were about to wet himself.

"Hello," he said quietly, looking at all their faces. Definitely guilty of something. "What is going on?"

"Nothing," they all said, too quickly.

"I may be a werewolf, but I'm not stupid," he answered slowly.

James looked at Sirius. "You'll have to tell him, mate."

Sirius looked hesitant and then he gestured for Remus to sit down, which he did, very gingerly. "You have to promise you won't completely dismiss the idea."

Remus kept quiet as Sirius went through his plan, even though his stomach was wrapping itself in bigger knots. He noticed Rowan and Peter stayed silent. It seemed crazy; his friends becoming animagus, _illegal animagus_, for his sake.

"What do you think?" Sirius asked after some time. "We're still deciding. Some of us are more ready than others," his eyes flickering to Rowan and Peter.

"I would do it," she protested, "In a second. I'm just thinking of the legal implications."

Ignoring her, Sirius repeated, "What do you think?"

Remus took a deep breath. "I think it's reckless, hare-brained, technically against the law," he added looking at Rowan, causing her to pull a face at Sirius as if to say 'see?', "but I am touched that you would consider doing this for me. If ever I had doubted your friendship, which I haven't, there would be no question of loyalty now. Thank you."

They all beamed at him. Rowan raised her eyebrows. "I'm sensing a but."

"But..." he began as they all groaned. "But...I can't let you. You could get expelled or worse if anyone found out."

"It was worth a try I guess," Peter said quietly. And nothing more was said about it that day. The five friends sat and laughed on the grass of the school grounds until the sun was merely as shadow preceding the night.

****

"Hey Remus," James asked, with his and Sirius' wands sticking out of his mouth downwards, "What am I?"

"Um...dead meat unless you get my wand out of your mouth." Sirius said trying to snatch it.

"Careful James," Remus sighed, "Greater wizards have lost their faces pretending to be a walrus."

"Ah, but you knew I was a walrus!" James laughed. "I hope I won't become one when we do this."

"Quiet down James!" Remus whispered. "Do you want to get us caught? Your voice is like a foghorn!"

"Maybe you should be a howler monkey," joked Peter who was fiddling with a Rubix cube. James shook his fist at him but smiled. They were excited.

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Remus said, groaning, as he stirred the potion that had been simmering for thirty two days now. "This is ludicrous."

"Ah but the idea of having us around, buddy," Sirius whispered as he put his arm around his friend, "it's just so..."

"Terrifying?"

Sirius whacked him and sat down. Remus looked at his friends. How much they had all grown since that first day on the train. Peter, whose face was screwed up from trying to figure out the Muggle puzzle in his hand, was short but still lean and he had let his blonde hair grow longer like James'. He looked more like a teenager than a man, yet he still had a day's stubble on his thin face. Sirius had gained muscle lately, something which granted him even more favour with the female population at Hogwarts. His hair, thick and black was still cut to shoulder length as it had been when they'd met. He too had a couple of day's worth of growth along his jaw line, which he rubbed now. James only looked older; his hair still jutted at odd angles, his glasses were still bent. He had only grown taller and more triangular, and his face was clean shaven. He hated beards.

When Remus looked at himself in the mirror, he saw a young man, who was growing old too quickly. He hadn't told the other boys, but he'd confided in Rowan that he had found a grey hair in his light brown mop, which now amounted to several. She'd asked if she could look and he'd laughed obliging. She often made him feel better these days, and he liked it when she played with his hair.

Rowan had grown most indefinitely. Sirius liked to tease her about, and had done since the first year; her young body slowly blossoming into a tall thin young woman. She was very beautiful, and shared the same angular structure of her twin, and the same thick dark hair, only hers curled a lot more. They did not look the same from behind anymore, Sirius maintained; for one he didn't wear skirts.

"How long, Moony?" James asked quietly, using the gang's nickname for him.

"It's ready," Remus sighed. "But how are we doing this?"

"We take the potion, change, bada-bing, back to bed for double potions tomorrow?" Sirius answered.

"No," Remus whispered, "you can either drop a sample of the animal you want to become in the vial I give you, like the polyjuice potion we read about." They nodded. "Or you can take the potion and let...well...magic decides."

They all stood silent. "Wow," said Sirius finally. "Lucky dip I guess for me. I didn't bring a sample."

"Me neither," said James, "and I'm hoping it works a bit like house sorting. Like a lion for being brave." He grinned and nudged Remus playfully. "Don't look so sick."

"I brought a sample," said Peter's small voice, interrupting.

Remus turned to look at him. "You did?"

"I read about the two ways of choosing your animal. I figured, you'd still need someone small, to touch the knot on the tree. So I thought about it, and chose a rat." He looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "They're kind of commonplace, so no one would think twice at seeing a rat. They could scream a little if they were a girl I guess..." he trailed off.

"Thanks, Pete," Remus said finally. "That's thoughtful of you." He patted the boy on the back and smiled at him.

"Well, if we're all decided," Sirius said rubbing his hands together.

"I didn't bring a sample either," said a voice from the shadows. The boys jumped with fear until they realised they recognised that angry tone.

"_Rowan_!" Sirius hissed. "How did you find us?"

"I know every hiding place in this castle just as well as you," she said stepping out of the shadows with a face like thunder. "You'd have been better to use the Room of Requirement really."

"We couldn't find it!" Sirius said angrily, but was shushed by his friends. They were in the abandoned boy's bathroom on the same floor as the Gryffindor dormitory. The marauders map lay open to tell them if Finch or Mrs. Norris, his new watch-cat were near, but they hadn't barely survey this area of the castle.

"Rowan," Remus began.

"No, I don't want to hear it. You guys decided to make the potion _without me_?"

"We kind of talked him into it," James said sheepishly.

"You've never excluded me from anything. What is this some kind of boy's only club?" she asked sarcastically.

"No!" they all answered. She shook her head, and looked sad. The potion bubbled behind Remus.

"I want to take the solution too," she said.

"No," Remus shook his head, "The risks are too great. I'm not having you around me when I..." He looked away.

"Surely it's my choice," she argued raising her wand slightly.

"Remus is right," Sirius mumbled. "It's an unnecessary risk we could prevent."

"Sirius! You were all for involving me in it at the beginning!"

"Well, we've all assessed the situation now," James said.

"Listen to yourselves. You sound like elders of the freaking Wizengamot Court of something. You talk about risks but those same risks apply to all of you."

She paused and looked up at the ceiling, obviously upset. "Remus, I spend the whole month, _the whole month,_ taking care of you, covering your tracks, lying for you, lying to _Lily,_ James," she added through a glare at her friend. "I even nurse you so you don't have to go to the hospital wing and talk to Madame Pomfrey! Yet something this important you keep from me."

"This isn't about adventure," Remus retorted. "You could get hurt."

"So could James, or Sirius, or Peter! So could you!

"But we're guys," James shrugged.

"Just because you're men doesn't mean you're better equipped to handle this. Or smarter. Let's not forget who aced that DADA test today boys." Peter scoffed. "I don't know why you're laughing. It certainly wasn't you Pettigrew," Rowan hissed.

"Ok," Remus said raising his hands. "Let's not get nasty."

They all stayed silent, the only thing audible was Rowan's angry breathing. Sirius picked up the map and looked. "Coast is clear but Filch is on the floor below."

Rowan looked at Remus. "I can handle this."

Remus shook his head. James turned to her brother and friends and said "She is one of us. It's only fair she should."

Sirius, who had looked indignant at fist, nodded his approval. Peter looked at James and Sirius and smiled, as if he had a say. Rowan looked at Remus. "I know..." she paused. "I know you all want to protect me, all of you. But I'm involved. I want to be a part of this."

They all looked at Remus who was looking down, avoiding her intense eyes, hoping that would give him the strength to say no, to stop her from being a part of the danger the other's had signed themselves up for. But he sighed.

"Ok, fine."

She smiled gratefully at him.

"But, we hadn't better waste any more time."

She joined the boys around the cauldron. "What do we have to do?"

"Draw your wand. Peter, you need a vial. Here, drop your sample in..." The potion hissed inside the test tube as Peter dropped in a few rat hairs. "You others...simply draw some of the potion out using your wand, one at a time though; who knows what could happen."

"That's all it says?" asked Sirius. James nodded as Remus checked.

"Yes, that's it. So who's first...not you Rowan...in case it does go wrong," Remus said as Rowan rolled her eyes. "James or Sirius or Peter, are you going to draw straws or decide like men?"

"I'll do it," said Sirius. They all stepped back slightly as he pulled out his wand and lowered it to the potion. "Your wand must give an indication as to what animal you should be I guess," James remarked to Rowan. "They're individual aren't they?" She nodded. Sirius swallowed and slowly went to touch the surface of the mixture but before he could, it began to glow gently. Suddenly, a silvery, almost lilac tendril of the potion drew towards the tip of Sirius's wand. He pulled back in surprise, pulling the spiderlike strand with him. It was pulsating lightly. It began to move before his eyes suddenly, in a strange rhythmic dance. "Yes," they heard Sirius murmur.

"I think it's talking to him!" Peter whispered in awe. "His lips are moving."

True enough, Sirius was as fixated on the wispy tendril like he was conversing with it. Then suddenly he closed his eyes and the strand expanded, glowing brightly, growing lighter moved jaggedly, bounding towards its captive subject, Sirius. The others stepped forward as it suddenly entered their friend's body through the mouth. Sirius stood still for a moment, but then opened his eyes, wide.

"What are you then, mate?" James asked quietly. Sirius looked at him, his eyes unseeing. His eyelids began to droop and he suddenly fell to the stone floor. Rowan started forward, but Remus held her back. "The book says at the end of the transformation, the subject will sleep heavily," he whispered low in her ear.

James looked at Peter and said, "Shall we?"

"I thought we said one at a time?" Remus warned.

"We don't _have_ time," said Peter.

Both boys lowered their wands; Peter to his vial and James to the small cauldron. Once again, tendrils attached themselves like glittering worms to their wands, yet Peter's was green and James', a deep orange. However, they still pulsated and glowed in the same way before leaping into their mouths, and their lids grew drowsy afterwards too. Once they had fallen to the floor, Remus let go of Rowan. "Your turn, if you're going to go ahead with it."

"Of course," said Rowan bringing the wand in her hand forward.

Her tendril was a deep red colour and it instantly mesmerised her. A melodic voice filled her head. _What is in your heart? _It asked. I don't know she thought; I don't know my heart. _Hmmm something guarded; something majestic. _Rowan watched the thing with a frown. _Something that moves like the shadows._ Remus was standing watching her with worried eyes. The map said Filch had moved away but surely they would all be here until tomorrow morning at least. _Aha, perfect, _it said. The voice and soft humming in her mind stopped suddenly, and Rowan felt weak. It must have entered her, she hadn't seen it move. She struggled to hold herself but she fell, succumbing to the wave of faintness cascading over her. She didn't hit the ground as the others had; a pair of hands gently held her and lowered her into sleep. The last thing she saw was Remus bending down towards her.

***

All his friends were like statues all night. James was known for softly snoring but Remus twice had to check his breath for fear that he had died, he was so still. He locked the bathroom door and watched the map all night, and when he wasn't watching the door he was watching Sirius' face, then James' and Peter's, and finally Rowan's. She looked so peaceful, but Remus' mind was not.

He must have fallen asleep briefly because he awoke suddenly and cursed himself for drifting off. Looking at his watch he saw it was early but not so early that students would be awake. _Get up,_ he thought to himself, sitting with his knees tucked under his chin. He found himself willing them to awaken.

_This is my fault, _he suddenly thought, _my friends have died and it is my fault._

But as if sensing his terror, Sirius began to stir, then James and Peter. They sat up and yawned. Peter rubbed his eyes. James ruffled his hair, but he remained as untidy before.

"Are you guys ok?" Remus asked timidly.

"Yeah," James said, confused. "Actually, bizarrely, I never felt better."

"Sirius?"

"Like I just slept on feathers rather than this stone floor," he said smiling. Peter made a contented sound. "How long until breakfast?" he asked.

James looked down at Rowan who was still sleeping. "Why isn't she up yet?"

"I don't know."

Sirius squinted at Remus. "Jeez man, have you been here all night? You're looking rough. Well, rougher than usual."

"Of course I've been here all night!" Remus began to say getting up angrily, but he saw their grins and smiled weakly. Rowan began to wake up. She smiled. "Hmmm, I'm ready for breakfast," she murmured.

"So am I," James said. "Let's go."

***

They only smiled at each other over breakfast, and when Lily joined them, she remarked how odd they were all behaving. "Odder than usual," she joked, kissing James cheek, and leaving minutes later to finish some work quickly before Charms.

"We'll meet later to...test drive...last night's work," James said finishing his third plate of bacon. His friends nodded and murmured in agreement, the excitement of a new secret racing through their veins.

***

It was a tedious day in which the minutes dragged along as if rocks were tied to their ankles. James had thought of nothing else all day, and he had ten points taken away in DADA for drawing a lion instead of making notes on the Patronus Charm – like he didn't know it already. His skin was itching with anticipation and when he had thought that tonight, only a few hours away, he could reveal his new form...it caught his breath.

"Remind me why we're in a changing room?" Rowan asked, gingerly flicking her wand at some socks, causing them to fly into lost property.

"Because the Room of Requirements gone AWOL again," James said angrily and looking around the room, as if it were listening. "You don't think Dumbledore has locked it or anything?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Rowan said quietly. "That room is part of the castle, which is ages old than Dumbledore."

It was late night and cold; they daren't use their wands to illuminate the room so what little light they did have came from a small oblong window above them. The moon was three quarters through its cycle. Remus looked up at it and had a sad expression. Rowan smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "You don't have to be alone this month," she whispered, so quietly none of the others heard her.

He smiled sadly and looked at the boys.

"Let's see it then."

"How does it work?" Peter asked.

Remus laughed softly. "I don't know. It's your transformation."

Sirius stood up. "I'll try first." He paused. "I'll just try to think of changing."

"Into what?" asked James.

Sirius shrugged and cleared a space between the two benches his friends sat on. He breathed deeply, his face barely visible in the half-light. He stood for a moment, just breathing and not moving.

"Um...Sirius," Peter whispered, "It's not happening."

"I know," Sirius hissed angrily. "I'm working on it."

Rowan laughed silently, in which Remus joined her. James looked at the map, and suddenly lifted his hand. "We've got company coming around the corner," he whispered quickly, pulling his cloak out and swinging it around him, Rowan and Remus. "You'll have to hide somewhere Sirius, and you Pete!"

Sirius stepped quietly over to a cupboard when the spare uniforms were kept and climbed in carefully. But Peter was beginning to panic. "Can't I get under there?" he asked James. James hissed "No!"

"There is nowhere James," Peter pleaded. Footsteps filled the dark air from outside. Peter gasped.

"What was that my lovely?" came the voice of their caretaker, Filch. The mewing that accompanied him told them Mrs. Norris was there too. Peter looked pale even in this light.

"Peter! Hide!" Rowan cried out in hushed tones. But Peter was stood, unable to move, frozen with panic, and Filch grew closer.

"Peter!" Remus whispered. "Think about your animal!"

Peter didn't look as if he'd heard him, but then, seconds later he began to grow smaller; his nose and face elongating, and whiskers extending out of his face rapidly. Rowan had to stifle her surprise. Peter's body tucked itself under, his hands morphing into tiny paws. His clothes disappeared with him, becoming his fur. He was about the size of a football now, and shrinking. A long tail appeared from where his tailbone was.

Rowan sat open mouthed under the invisibility cloak. She could feel Remus' heavy breathing beside her. He was just as shocked as she was.

The door to the changing room opened, pouring liquid light into form the corridor. Rowan stiffened. What about Peter? Mrs. Norris would surely spot him, and if not Peter, she would smell them.

"I thought I heard someone out of bed, my dear," said Filch quietly in his creaking voice. He stepped into the room, holding a candle in his long, gnarly fingers. "Students perhaps?"

Mrs. Norris looked straight at the cloak with his intense eyes. Rowan suddenly had the urge to bear her teeth at the wizened cat. Mrs. Norris scampered back in surprise, and didn't look at the cloak again. Remus turned to look at Rowan with surprise.

Argus Filch walked around the room slowly as if he would soon sense their presence by striding about the cloakroom. He was laughable but if he caught them, they could still get in serious trouble. Rowan felt Remus squeeze her fingers tight. It was comforting to know he was there.

"What in Merlin's beard!" Filch suddenly cried making them all jump. He had nearly fallen over and a high pitched sound, Peter's terrified squeaking, could be heard echoing around the changing room.

"Only a bleeding rat making all that noise," Filch muttered, disappointment laced in his words. Mrs. Norris hated rodents, unlike her feline ancestors. She was completely adverse to a nice fat rat.

"Best get some traps laid down tomorrow," he said to himself, as he left, shutting the door quietly behind him. Rowan felt Remus relax beside her. "Pst!" James said in the darkness. "Pst! Peter! Sirius!"

No reply.

Rowan got out from under the invisibility cloak and stretched. "Peter," Remus said quietly, "Peter you can come out now."

There was a strange scuffling sound, and Rowan spotted him curled up in a ball and shaking. She pointed him out to James and Remus, who helped him to his feet.

"Pete, mate, you ok?" James whispered.

"That…" Peter stuttered, "w...w…was the coolest th…th…thing ever!"

James grinned and thumped him on the back. Remus was over by the broom cupboard. He banged it with his knuckles. "Sirius, you can come out now."

The cupboard was silent for a moment, and then they all heard a small snuffle. James frowned, but stayed where he was supporting Peter. Remus raised an eyebrow at Rowan and opened the cupboard. Sirius lay at the bottom, curled up and snoring gently.

***

It wasn't until two days later when they could all meet together again in the evening, without raising suspicion from Filch or any of the other Gryffindors. Lily had noticed how shifty they were being and had tried probing James, Sirius, and Remus and had almost broken Peter before Rowan had got to him. James was also becoming a problem; Lily had the knack of being able to wind the young man around her little finger. Lily knew better than to ask Rowan. She was as loyal as a dog and as stubborn as a mule. If she was decided on not breaking her silence, it was a waste of time to try.

Remus saw Rowan from across the Great Hall at dinner and gave her a meaningful glance. She nodded. The past two nights she had eaten with James and Peter one end of the Gryffindor table in a vain attempt to control the weakest links, while Sirius and Remus sat with Lily, who had reluctantly resigned to the fact that she was not going to find out what was going on unless they told her. Remus had managed to palm off some idea of a birthday surprise for her, seeing as it was only a fortnight away. Rowan whispered to James and Peter, and they rose. She raised her hand to wave at them, to make a show to Lily, but really she was telling Remus to wait five minutes. She mouthed _wait _and spread her fingers out, briefly, so no one would notice but him. Sirius clearly hadn't, as he rose. His friend pulled him back down quickly.

It was another twenty before they met up. Lily had taken a while to leave; she had left to catch up with some friends from her Charms class and seemed to be uninterested in the boys now. Nevertheless, Sirius checked the map for another five minutes and made sure that they watched it tonight.

"Do we really have to meet here?" Peter whimpered. "It's too close to the Forbidden Forest for my liking."

"Yes," Rowan said bluntly, glaring at him. "It is far enough away from the school for us not be seen or heard."

"But it's right next to…"

"Well, at least we're not inside," Remus interrupted sighing. "Can we do this? The full moon is in five days and I don't feel well."

Everyone drew quiet. After all, that was why they were here.

"Ok," Sirius said rubbing his hands together. "I read up on it. It was easier for Pete because he knew what he was; he could visualise the rat."

"So what do we do?" Rowan asked crossing her arms. It was dark, and they daren't have any light for fear of being spotted. She could hardly see who she was addressing.

"We have to try to reacquaint ourselves with whatever you want to call that floaty thing. That's the spirit of our transformation."

They were all silent, but then quiet laughter broke out amongst the Marauders. "Jeez. Paddy, you sound like a Muggle fortune teller," James chuckled.

Rowan imagined Sirius frowning but then smiling as he answered. "It's what it said in the book," he said mock indignantly.

"So we have to have a conversation…with the thing inside us?" James asked. More laughter.

"I'm not the expert, but…yeah."

"Well then," Remus said; the amusement audible at the edge of his voice. "Let's get on with it."

The three would-be-animagus stood silently. Rowan closed her eyes and tried to think hard. Everything was quiet too quiet and for a moment, she wondered if the people around her had left her, but a sharp intake of breath from Remus on her right made her open her eyes.

Sirius and James were changing.

Sirius began to shrink as Peter had but he stopped long before he reached the size of a rat. His arms grew longer, pulling him down into a four-legged creature, and his hair grew outwards, and his body was soon covered with a midnight coat of black hair which began at the nape of his neck and soon reached his feet. His stature widened, although he was already muscular, his shape became great and frightening. His nose and face pulled out into a long muzzle. Rowan heard a gasp from Remus. Sirius looked as if he was becoming a werewolf. A bark from their friend told them otherwise,

James, too, had crouched to all fours but he was growing taller, majestic and his legs, torso and arms thinned out. A fawn coloured fur crept over his body, but she couldn't tell from where. The strangest observation about James' transformation was the disappearance of his glasses and the two, elongated growths that began protruding from his forehead. _Antlers, _she thought, _Merlin, he's got antlers!_

The deer raised a hoof and made a small sound like a grunt, before turning its head to the great, black dog beside it. The dog barked once more. "Ssh Sirius," Rowan heard Peter hiss into the darkness. Remus turned to her. "What's wrong? Doesn't it work?"

"I...I was distracted by them," she admitted, "I wasn't thinking."

"Well, now is your chance," he replied softly. "Just concentrate."

She closed her eyes once more and breathed deeply. _OK, _she murmured in her mind. _What did that thing say to me..." something guarded; something majestic...something that moves like the shadows"..._Rowan was aware that everyone and thing around her was silent once more. _Something that moves like the shadows._ A snake perhaps. She knew instantly that wasn't it. An insect? She shuddered. No. It must be something dark. She heard Remus' breathing beside her and he filled her mind. _Concentrate,_ said a voice that wasn't her own. Lurking in the shadows...it was something Rowan was accustomed to. A quick and sudden flash filled her mind; a creature as black as coal, darker that Sirius' dog, with a sleek coat and a predatory growl. She had realised at first what it was but feeling a strange pulling, Rowan began to feel her change. It didn't feel very strange, only as if gravity had increased and she had gotten very heavy all of a sudden. Yet, she didn't open her eyes.

"Rowan," she heard Remus say. He was quiet and sounded a little frightened.

"_What's wrong?" _she tried to say, but was surprised to hear the words come out in a low purr.

She opened her eyes. She was low, but not especially so. She looked up to see Remus standing above her through sharp and focused eyes, accustomed to the pitch black night.

"A panther?" he murmured.

Rowan tried to nod her head but found that it was not easy.

"How do they change back?" Remus asked Peter who looked both excited and terrified.

"I...I...you..." he stammered as three animals turned their heads towards him. "Just think about yourself as you did the animal. That's how I did it."

As soon as he'd said it, the three animagus began to grow and pull up from their hunched positions. The hair left their bodies as quickly as it had come. Sirius laughed loudly as soon as he could stretch out. James leapt at him and ruffled his hair. Rowan stood breathless and grinned sheepishly at everyone, even Pettigrew.

"Merlin's beard," Remus managed to say before sitting down, shell-shocked.


	6. The Temperament of a Woman

_A/N: Shorter chapter this time! RdF_

Chapter 6 – The Temperament of a Woman

Present Day

Remus looked up at the moon, nearly a three quarters of the way through its terrible cycle and sighed. Rowan watched the gesture and suddenly felt the same ache she had suffered with through school; it was so easy to forget what individuals went through when everyone was focused on a war. It became a corporate struggle and Remus' condition got lost somewhere within in that. Admittedly it had been of some use as he went underground and infiltrated Fenir Greyback's pack but at what cost, Rowan thought as her eyes fell on a fresh silvery scar across his forearm.

"How long?" she asked, looking up at the moon.

"A week," he sighed once more. "Like you didn't know." He looked back to her face. "You once told me that you had the full moons for the next millennia etched into your mind." He laughed bitterly, remembering.

"Ah, I was just being polite. Of course I know." She smiled.

They sat quietly for a moment, listening to the fireworks once again which showed no sign of ceasing. Remus shifted uncomfortably on the hard bench. "I'm sorry," he said rubbing his chin. "That we couldn't tell you about Sirius."

She shook her head. "It's ok. Well, it's not but...there was really no way of getting to me."

"Where have you been?"

"Everywhere. I didn't really stop long enough to get to know the places." Remus looked at her sad expression. "I thought you'd head to the East?"

"Yes, I did. But you can't stay there for too long. Firstly because of the danger it put all of them in and also because, well, as tolerant and as kind as they were, I still wasn't an Eastern witch so..." she smiled. "I didn't trespass on Nikki's kindness for too long."

He nodded. "Understandable."

"I've been to ask," she said swallowing and examining her hands. "Who was it? That killed Sirius."

Remus exhaled deeply. "Well, if I'm honest, I'm not sure. He was hit with a Stunning Curse and he fell back into the veil in the Department of Mysteries. It could have been Bellatrix who he was duelling, but there were so many curses flying around. The Death Eaters were really taking no prisoners. Bar Harry of course, if they could get their hands on him."

"Oh," she said softly.

"I know you, and what you're thinking." He gave her a look he reserved for his pupils but it was one he'd always had. "Revenge won't make you feel better."

"I think it might," she smiled.

"Yes, but, you've always been a little violent."

"Don't joke about it Remus. He's dead and no one's being held accountable."

Remus' face grew solemn. "I'm sorry."

"I just think about Hogwarts and how _alive_ he was, how we all were and look at us. Me and you are the only ones left." She closed her eyes.

"Well, Lucius and Bellatrix are still alive. But not for much longer by all accounts," Remus said gravely. "Kingsley Shacklebolt wants them in Azkaban as soon as."

Rowan laughed but her face showed no mirth. "Everyone gets what they deserve Remus."

He didn't reply.

"My only prayer is that Draco doesn't turn out like his father; that he can try and be a better person."

"Well, he did stumble but he came back to the Order and Dumbledore vowed to help him." He paused. "He's not like his father, Rowan. He easily could have been..."

"So could Lucius. He could have chosen the right way."

"Well, you know as well as I do that family and genetics and bad blood were all against him."

Rowan nodded. "Not everyone could turn out like you and Sirius," Remus added.

"Besides," he said minutes later, after another prolonged silence. "You certainly gave as good as you got when it came to Lucius Malfoy." She saw his teasing smile. "I was very young and impetuous."

"You still are!"

"_And," _she tried to say over his laughs, "He did make the mistake of crossing me on several occasions."

"There are many people who could claim to have made the mistake of crossing you on several occasions. Sadly, I am one of them, and I still have the scars to prove it," Remus said wistfully, as she played punched his arm.

"Shut up," she murmured. "I'll admit I had a reputation for hot-temperedness but it was never without justification."

"True," Remus mused. "It was so very awful that poor Hufflepuff boy made you drop those books that time."

"I was having a bad day!"

"I know," Remus laughed. "I'm only teasing. But we all lived in fear of your...temper."

She raised an eyebrow. "You still should."


	7. Promised

_A/N: Another warning; we're going to be stuck in the past for a while now. Enjoy! RdF_

Chapter 7 - Promised

Rowan shivered a little and pulled her cardigan around her tighter. It was nearing the end of November and although it was just shy of half three in the afternoon, it was growing dark. It was a shame, because she rarely had moments like this, all to herself. Usually the boys and Lily were around, and while she didn't resent that, it was impossible to think with James and Sirius doing Skrewt impressions. Six years, and still they were not getting any better at it, but they still thought they were hilarious. Sighing, and realising she had better go in, she rose and brushed her legs down; she was covered in the crispy remains of the leaves that had lingered in the school grounds. When she looked up, her breath caught in her throat with surprise as a figure stood before her, mere feet away.

"Wow, Malfoy," she sneered, getting her breath back and using it to show her displeasure at him being there, "I never realised how good you were at sneaking up on unsuspecting women."

He smirked. "I was actually quite loud. You were clearly miles away in your pretty little thoughts."

She returned the smirk and picked up her bag. "Well, it's been _delightful_ but please, do excuse me," she said in a sharp tone. She walked past him but to her surprise, he stuck out his arm and gripped hers in a tight grasp. She looked at him with an icy stare. He had changed a lot of late; his hair was longer but no less blonde and his face looked much older than that of his peers. "_What do you think you're doing?_" she hissed. He merely looked at her as she tried to pull away, getting angrier by the second.

"I came to talk to you," Lucius smiled, scanning her face.

"I don't care," Rowan replied.

"You're not even a little bit curious as to what I have to say?" he said, with a quizzical smile. "Come now. You're one of Potter's group, aren't you? They're all a dreadfully _curious_ bunch."

"It killed the cat," Rowan said, with a shrug. "I tend to avoid it." He unwounded his fingers from her upper arm and raised his own in a kind of surrender. "Fine, fine, I can see there's no talking to you," he said in his low melodic voice.

"Thank you," she spat. "And," she added shoving him in the chest, "if you ever think of touching me again, I'll hex you into oblivion. Understand, Malfoy?"

He stared at her; the corners of his mouth turned up faintly and his grey eyes revealing very little. He tutted. "Testy, Rowan?"

"I need to get back," she said, mostly to herself and climbing slowly, she began to walk the slope back up to the castle.

"It won't last you know," he called out. Turning on her heels with an angry sigh, Rowan crossed her arms. "What won't?"

"Your band of merry men. The 'Marauders'. Hogwarts heroes and heroines. Loved by all, challenged by none," Lucius said mockingly, turning away from her to stare out at the lake. "It's only for the now."

"You know, that's great. "Loved by all, challenged by none"...we might use that," she said mocking his tone in return.

"You're angry because you know I'm right. You'll all fade away into nothing, including yourself."

Rowan, growing angrier by the second, stomped down the hill and stopped in front of him. "Just shut up ok? Everyone knows you hate them and they hate you, so just get over it."

"Not including yourself in that hatred?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "You know I'm right. I'm only voicing your biggest fear."

"Oh, and what's that?" Rowan laughed. "As if _you'd _know my biggest fear." She rolled her eyes.

Lucius turned and stood too close to her, squaring up to her. Being taller, he managed to look down at her and breathe what he had to say upon her face, frightening her a little. She swallowed hard and wondered how far away from another human she was.

"That what you all share right now is a dream and something you will have to let go of before too long. That you are drifting away from them. That you'll be forgotten." Rowan said nothing, only looked at him with burning pride in her eyes. "Come now," Lucius continued, bending close to her ear. "I know you. You didn't think it could continue forever."

She stepped back, so his hair didn't tickle her face. "Lily and James..."

"Merely a golden couple; school sweethearts rarely survive. Your brother cares more for his best friends than his own sister. Pettigrew, as pathetic as he is, is...going somewhere, whether you care to admit it or not." Lucius pulled back from her. "They will forget you."

Rowan looked at him indignantly. "Remus..."

"The sick, pale one?" Lucius interrupted, laughing scathingly. "Weakling."

"He is ten times the man and Wizard you'll ever be," she hissed. Lucius looked at the sky, causing his long blonde hair to fall down his back. "I would not say such things if I were you," he warned, with a wicked grin.

Rowan paused in the dark silence and tried to find some angle to strike him from. "Does Cissy know you're here?" she asked, in an irritated tone. His head snapped towards her and she knew she'd struck a nerve. "Don't call her that," he threatened.

"I thought as much. I'd heard she was less than happy when she found out about you sneaking around to talk to me." Rowan laughed. "You and Cissy really are the perfect couple. Even more so than James and Lily. But then, school sweethearts rarely last do they?"

"_Narcissa _and I have understandings in our relationship."

"Oh, she _understands_ that you have a crush on me?"

"Do not flatter yourself, Black. You're a blood traitor as far as the rest of your family is concerned."

"I know; how can I live with myself, right?" she seethed sarcastically. "I mean, I'm practically a Mudblood now."

"I didn't say _I_ thought that," the white haired boy replied.

"I care very little about what you think, so that has no consequence."

"Besides," he continued, examining his fingernails. "You know my family doesn't wish for Narcissa to be my wife, even though she's from good stock. You know I don't," he added looking at her with intense eyes.

Rowan laughed. "Ah yes, I'd forgotten we were supposed to _marry_. When we're quite clearly the perfect match._"_

He looked at her and cocked his head slightly. "You _are_ a pure blood and it's undeniable the chemistry we have. _Have_ always had."

Rowan smirked. "I'm one of two of the only Black's in the entire history of our family to be sorted into a different house than Slytherin, and your family still wants us to marry?"

"For the sake of your blood, they can over look it."

"Oh, Lucius, I never knew you were such a romantic." She paused and laughed bitterly. "This thing about blood, it's ridiculous. It's all inbreeding anyway."

Lucius looked at her angrily. "Don't be childish."

"It is! You mother is my mother's cousin distantly. It causes problems. _Your _family would not allow a Squib to be associated with the Malfoy name, and there is every chance of that happening with all this 'keeping it in the family'!"

"There would be no such occurrence. I really have no idea in why you persist in fighting this," Lucius said, drawing closer to her again. "We really are each other's destiny."

"You know," she said, continuing to ignore him. "I do honestly think you should marry _Cissy_. You're so alike, what with your twisted logic and hateful ideology. Yes, you should make an honest woman of her, settle down and have beautiful blonde babies. And then you can rear them up to be as evil as you're becoming." She clapped her hands in mock delight. "If you have a son first, can I name him?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "I think....Draco..._dragon-like,_ like his father. Ferocious and hot breathed," she added pushing him away, because by now he was far too close.

"I've always considered dragons to be very majestic and beautiful creatures," Lucius sneered.

"They also have scales, and horns," Rowan smiled nastily. "So don't sit too pretty in that comparison."

Lucius smiled as if laughing at her retort, but he looked down. "All this hatred aside," he begun, "you know that I would love you and take care of you. You would never be in want."

"I don't know that. We're worlds apart. I don't care for you in the slightest. I highly doubt that beyond the...physical, you even care for me. As much as I detest you, however, I wouldn't condemn you, _us, _to a life of misery, just for our parent's sake. I have enough strength in me for that. I need the honour of being a pure blood _much less_ than you do. Be your own person for once." His face grew steely and his jaw muscle jumped as he clenched it. Lucius Malfoy did not take rejection well, not when he had been bold enough to admit his feelings.

Rowan sighed deeply. "Goodnight," she said bluntly, turning and walking away, thinking they had finished.

"So you really prefer the sickly one? Even though he's too much of a coward to admit that he cares for you?" Lucius sneered at her retreating back. She did not stop or turn. It was the first time anyone had spoken to her about Remus and the way she felt about him; she taken pain not to even mention it to Lily though he was sure she knew. "I would rather wait for him than make do with you," she admitted through gritted teeth.

*************

Rowan stormed into the Great Hall a few minutes after dinner started with a thunderous look on her face and sat next to Lily, and Audrina and Jessica; the other Gryffindor sixth year girls. Remus, Peter, James and her brother followed her with their eyes and Sirius, whose mouth was full of food, swallowed hard. "Oh dear," he murmured.

"I wonder what got her back up," James said quietly, as if he was afraid she would hear them. The dark haired girl was plating herself some dinner up but not smiling. Lily, who was used to Rowan's temperament and touched her shoulder lightly; Rowan gave her a weak smile, and seemed to shrug it off. Minutes later they were laughing.

Remus tore his eyes from her, eyes filled with concern and looked back at his friends. "Do you think we should..." he began.

"No," they chorused together; Peter was the loudest. They knew the outcome of being on the end of Rowan's temper – even if you didn't cause it, it was never a pretty sight.

Five minutes on, Peter looked up to see Lucius Malfoy stalking across towards the Slytherin table, his robes flapping wildly and his hair flowing behind him. "Look, Blondie's late too."

Sirius squinted. "Yeah and his face looks a picture. I wonder if that has something to do with Rowan."

Remus frowned. "What?"

"Oh come on," Sirius laughed. "You know how he's got that thing for her."

Remus shrugged, looking at his plate. James ruffled his hair up a bit and pushed his own empty crockery away from him. "Yeah, even though he's now with that good looking blonde one." He paused. "Well, good looking for a Slytherin I mean."

"Yeah, but he's liked Rowan for ages. I mean," Sirius swallowed some beef, "our families were dead set on them hooking up and marrying one day."

Remus stared at him. "What?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded with a raised eyebrow. "I know. Ridiculous. But they're 'betrothed' technically."

James snorted. "Because she _would_ touch him with a barge pole." Remus laughed with the others but looked worried. Rowan was plaiting her hair now and seemed relaxed. Had she really just rebuffed Malfoy or was it something more like a lover's tiff? He didn't dare think about it so he fell silent and just listened to the others.

********

Rowan was reading in the library when Remus slid into a chair opposite her and took advantage of the fact she was totally absorbed in her book to take a look at her. Her hair, as dark as ever, was hanging forward and spilling onto the crisp pages. She had a look of pure concentration upon her face as she read and scribbled down some notes. He picked up a piece of hair to get her attention and dropped it playfully before resting on his elbows.

"Hey," she muttered, not looking at him at first, but then closing her book and turning to him with a friendly smile. "You ok?"

He sighed. "I feel a little ill; only a few more days to go," he added in a low voice. She of course knew to what he was referring. "Are you alright? You seemed...annoyed at dinner yesterday."

"I was," she said sitting back in her chair. "Lucius Malfoy accosted me outside, creepy git that he is, and said some things that he's gonna regret." She gave him a reassuring smile, so she must have watched Remus' expression change from one of weariness to absolute rage. "Don't worry. He didn't do anything. Just said some horrible things."

"Like what?"

"It's not important," she said, shaking her head. She stared at him for a moment. "You know I swear your hair gets lighter before the full moon," she mused softly so no one could hear. She touched it lightly but then pulled away with an amused expression. "What...what are you researching?" he managed to say, clearing his throat.

"Oh, nothing for school." She paused. "It's...er...well, have you heard of the East?"

Remus frowned. "Vaguely. I read about it once. It's not a place; it's more of an institution right?"

"Yeah," the dark haired girl muttered. "Well, it's really intrigued me. But there's very little written about it. It's become somewhat of a myth."

"Hmmm." Remus pulled her notes towards him, leaning across her. "What have you got so far?"

The pair talked animatedly to each other about the topic for ages; the Hogwarts librarian Madame Pince watched them with a gentle expression as the young boy laughed at his friend who was doing some sort of impression. He was older than his years but when he laughed, he looked his age once more. Pince was supposed to be shutting the library up for the evening soon but they looked so deep in conversation she thought it best to give them just a little bit longer. She watched, however, as a shadow fell across their desk as another character approached.

"Rowan," Lucius Malfoy said with a smile. "I was hoping to catch you."

Rowan stopped and looked at her book once more. "Get lost."

"I'm perfectly at liberty to enter the library," he smirked. "I need to speak to you."

"You can speak right here. I'll be blown if I'm willingly going to put myself alone with you again."

Lucius looked irritated for a moment, his eyes flickering briefly to Remus who met Malfoy with a steely expression. "It's a private matter."

"No, it isn't. I'll only tell Remus later." She paused, cocking her head slightly to one side. "Afraid to tell me in front of him?"

"I'm not afraid of anything," he replied indignantly, louder than he'd intended.

"Mr. Malfoy! If you cannot lower your voice, I shall ban you from the library this term. I'm closing up, so could wrap this conversation up quickly," Madame Pince commanded haughtily. He gave her a withering look but turned his expression back to Rowan. Putting his hands on the desk and leaning forward a little, he said, "I merely wanted to inquire as to what you were doing with regards to the Yule Ball."

Rowan looked horrified.

"Obviously, my parents, and yours, have expressed a desire that we should..."

"She's going with me."

Lucius looked at Remus with narrowed eyes. "You are?" he asked Rowan.

"I am?" She looked at Remus. "Yes, yes I am," she said quickly. Lucius straightened out, puffing out his chest slightly. "Oh really?" he said in a clipped tone. "And when did you ask her?"

Remus rose also, and although he wasn't quite as broad as the blonde boy, he was certainly as tall. "Yesterday," he said calmly.

"You're going with this pup?" he spat at Rowan, the public rejection brutally massacring his ego in front of them.

"Yes, she is. In fact, you should consider her...unavailable for every foreseeable event as far as _you're_ concerned, Malfoy. I would have thought someone as sharp as you are, could take a hint."

Rowan looked up at Remus with an astonished expression. She couldn't believe the words had come from his mouth.

"Sixth years! Leave now!" Pince cried.

The two boys, who were locked in some kind of silent battle across the desk, ignored her, but Rowan stood up and lightly touched Remus' arm. "We should go," she said in a high voice. "Now," she insisted. Remus nodded. "Good evening, Lucius," he said indicating that the Slytherin should leave. And with a small laugh and a sweep of his robes, Lucius Malfoy stormed off. Remus looked down at the desk, swallowed and began collecting the various books scattered.

"Merlin!" Rowan said tucking her hair behind her ears. "What the..."

"Sorry, I was..." he spoke quickly, in a flustered voice. "You don't have to go with me; I was just saying that so he'd..."

"What?"

"The ball," Remus said with an amused expression. "I kind of told him you were my date? Presumptuous, but er...necessary I think."

"I should say!" Rowan laughed. "You really put him in his place."

"Did you hear him call me 'pup'?"

"Well, he wouldn't say that if he met you in a few days time."

"Don't joke about that," Remus said gravely. "That'd be awful." Rowan nodded, and looked apologetic but then paused. They were walking out of the library now, passing bookshelves as the candles flickered and blew out.

"Well, at least I have a date now," she said testing the waters. Remus smiled. "Like I said, don't feel obliged. I was merely..."

"Making me unavailable."

"Yes," he said wistfully. "I don't suppose for a second you'd actually go with me," he added aloud. She turned to look at him, mouth open, but James and Sirius turned the corner laughing loudly. "Oi! You two! Any reason why Malfoy was just skulking off looking ready to murder someone?"

Remus looked sheepish briefly but then shrugged. "Does he need a reason?"

The boys laughed and gestured to the common room. "You guys coming? We've got that essay for Kettleburn to do," Sirius sighed. Remus nodded and headed after them. Rowan grabbed his arm. "Hang on," she said crossly. "What did you mean, before?"

"Oh nothing," Remus said laughing it off. "Come on."

"Yes," she said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yes, yes I will go with you," she said with a frown. "Oh," he said, slightly stunned. She pushed past him and headed after her brother. "Ok then," he breathed, with a faint smile. By the time they'd got to the common room, he'd already fantasised telling Lucius, in front of her, that he was taking her out to Hogsmeade too, on a date. It seemed to work so well before.


	8. Too Close For Comfort

Chapter 8 – Too Close For Comfort

Rowan threw herself down beside her brother on the sofa of the common room and sighed heavily.

"Where've you been," Sirius asked, glancing over his shoulder as he played Exploding Snap with Peter. She glanced at him with a tired expression. "Hmmm? Oh, in the library; I had a mammoth essay from Professor Binns." Her brother scanned her quickly but seeing that she was nothing more than a little tired and possibly bored senseless by her History of Magic essay, he turned his attention back to Peter, gave him a nod and carried on with their game.

"So," Sirius trod carefully as he asked his question. Had he thought long and hard about it, he would've realised it probably wasn't the best time. "What was the whole deal with you and..."

"Don't. I swear to Merlin, if you utter his name," she said from his right, leaving the threat hanging in the air. She had her head laid back, eyes closed and she didn't move as she spoke. "I hate him. That is all that can be said."

"Oh, ok," Sirius said, raising an eyebrow at Peter, who stifled a snigger. "I don't know, Ro," Sirius pressed bravely. "He's always liked you."

"Yes."

"And, I mean, as much as I hate to own up to it, no one would blame you if you found the git attractive because he is. Admittedly, I detest Mal..."

He didn't finish because Rowan had discreetly pulled out her wand and hexed his mouth closed with a large metal zip. Opening one eye to see the fruits of her work – a squirming Sirius with angry eyebrows – she smiled and nestled deeper in the sofa. She would undo it, in a few minutes.

Half an hour later, the common room was silent. Sirius was in a sulk and didn't feel like playing Snap anymore, Peter was struggling with homework and Rowan was sleeping peacefully. That is, until James Potter stormed in the through the entrance to the room, dispelling the few straggling third year girls that were hovering to get Sirius' attention. Remus followed him wearily. They were already mid conversation.

"You can't be sure, James," Remus was saying, with an exasperated expression. "You heard a small part of their conversation; you can't act on it!"

James spun round looking wildly at his friend, having seemingly not noticed the others, and threw his hands in the air. "Moony," he said, "how can we _not_ act on it? It's unjust and immoral, and just plain awful and we have a duty to..."

"A duty? As what? 'Protectors of Hogwarts'?" Remus scoffed. "We're school boys James. Yes, we're seniors, but we're not aurors, we're pranksters!"

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, rising and putting arms between them. "But what in Merlin is going on?" Rowan was sitting up and rubbing her eyes, groaning. The boys, James and Remus, suddenly looked around as if realising for the first time that they were not alone; in fact, Peter was staring at them open mouthed and Sirius looked utterly perplexed. Remus looked down at Rowan apologetically. "Sorry; we're you sleeping?"

"I was," she said with a smirk. James ran his fingers through his hair, making it look even more feral and expelled a deep breath. He was agitated.

"Sit down, both of you," Peter said gently, and for once they listened to him. Rowan made room on the sofa for Sirius to sit back down and Peter joined them. Remus and James sat opposite.

"Now," Rowan's brother began, in a calm voice, "would you mind telling us what the hell is going on between you two?"

James looked at Remus and gave him a wide eyed expression. "You tell them."

Remus, who face was drawn as he bore the signs of still recovering from the last new moon a few days prior, sighed and put his hands together. "We heard some Slytherins planning something."

The three of them raised an eyebrow each, but Remus continued. His mousy hair was growing longer and fell into his eyes as he spoke.

"It was only a snatch of their conversation; they heard something and moved into a room, but the general gist of their talk was something to do with Muggleborns." Remus' eyes grew grave and it was easier to see the flecks of warm gold in his irises.

"What?" Sirius asked.

James sat forward and spoke in low tones. "We heard them talk about a meeting that's happening tonight. From what we could gather, Lucius is standing guard, and Snivellus switches with him at midnight."

"That's all you heard? That they're having a meeting?" Rowan said, sitting back and crossing her arms.

"They're Slytherins!" James hissed. "They wouldn't have a late night secret meeting, where they had to have a lookout, if it wasn't something dodgy."

"He's got a point, Ro," Sirius mused. "Think about Mum and Dad, and the rest of our family. All Slytherins..."

"Yeah, and all gits. Carry on," Rowan said addressing James, who looked triumphant.

"Well, I figure, with them standing guard we won't be able to just sneak by and eavesdrop – not even in the cloak. Ole Malfoy's ears will be pricked up like the nasty bat he is." James grinned. "He needs to be totally distracted."

"That shouldn't be too hard, should it?" Sirius asked, looking around. Remus had gone quiet and looked thoughtful. He knew what was coming and he dreaded having to hear the outcome.

"Well, yeah; usual tactics won't work will they?" Peter said, scratching the back of his head. "Any kind of stink bomb would alert them all. Hexing Lucius might work though," he said.

"No," Rowan sighed. "Knowing them, they'd have a Hex-Aware spell just in case their watchdog was attacked." She looked intently at him. "We just can't take that chance."

James took off his glasses, gave them a quick wipe and pushed them back up his nose. "Well, there is one way. Non magical."

Remus closed his eyes.

"What?" they all said in low whispers.

"Rowan could..."

At the mention of her name she rose, looking both disgusted and hurt. "No! You can't ask that of me! No!"

Remus looked at her sadly but still didn't speak.

"He has got a point; you do have an unparalleled control over Lucius Malfoy," Sirius admitted. "You would only have to talk to him, divert him a little."

"That's bad enough!" Rowan began to pace. "I can't believe you're asking me to do this!"

"It could be serious Rowan," James said, looking at her, trying to follow her erratic steps. "It could have something to do with all the Dark Magic that's begun lately." She stopped; Remus could see how visibly upset she was.

"I do so much for you," she said after a little while, in a quiet voice. "So much. I lie, I cheat, I steal. But this, this is too much. You _know_ how much I hate him. It's dangerous to leave me alone with him. Can't you ask someone else?" she pleaded.

"There isn't anyone else; he doesn't care for anyone else," Remus said finally, glancing up to meet her eyes. She swallowed hard.

"Besides, we couldn't trust anyone else," Peter chipped in. She threw him a scowl and sat down.

"How long for?" she said in a blank voice.

"Long enough for us to get close to the room in the cloak," James said excitedly.

"Fine." She picked up her things that had been left in a pile from when she walked in. "But don't ever ask me to do anything like this again." She paused for a moment, looking incensed. "You know it's bad when you suddenly wish it was Snape that was on watch rather than Malfoy."

A bitter laugh shook through the Marauders, and with that Rowan stood up and went to the dormitory.

****

She came down minutes before they were supposed to leave and Remus felt sick. Knowing she would probably have to make an effort, she was wearing a little more make-up and he wondered what lie she had told Lily as she wiped the lip gloss on or as she teased her hair slightly to make it look a little less unruly. Maybe she had told her. Lily tried not to get involved these days. The novelty had worn off slightly of being the tag along Marauder and it was exhausting keeping up with James' cavorts.

"Let's go," She said grimly, not meeting their eyes. James looked apologetic now, for all his excitement earlier. "Hey, look, we really appreciate this..."

"Yep, whatever, let's go," she said blankly. She was examining her fingernails.

They walked down to the darker part of the castle in silence; Peter and Sirius ahead with James, Rowan and Remus behind. Remus turned to her and whispered quietly. "I'm so sorry."

She didn't reply. "If I had my way..." he continued.

"Remus," she said in low whisper; so low he barely heard it, "please, stop talking about it."

He looked surprised but shut his mouth and looked ahead. Rowan frowned and looked at her feet. "I hope you know," she said finally, "that I feel like a whore."

Remus stared at her horrified and reached out to grab her but they had stopped and they could hear the low murmur of someone ahead. It was Lucius, she was sure of that; she'd recognise his low voice anywhere. Pulling themselves under the invisibility cloak, the boys gave her one final look of regret to which she returned a steely glare, and Rowan Black stepped out in the corridor's dim light to meet her worst nightmare.

She thought it best to look as if she had wandered there by accident so, placing one foot unsteadily before the other, she walked head down along the corridor, pretending to look at the book she had brought with her as some kind of prop in this bizarre stage show. Lucius spotted her before she could feign surprise at seeing him, and his bark of her name made her jump out of her skin.

"Rowan, what are you doing here?"

She looked up from the book, scanned him up and down and raised an eyebrow. "Likewise, Malfoy."

He looked sheepish for a moment but crossed his arms and regained his cool very quickly. "I'm on patrol. I am Head Boy." Rowan cursed inwardly. That was a credible excuse.

"And you, Miss Black? Night time stroll about the castle?" His tone was mocking.

"Yes," she smiled. "Yes; the boys are playing Wizard Chess and are being loud and I...wasn't tired." She was surprised how quickly she had come up with a lie, and judging by his expression, Lucius believed her.

"Very well," he said frostily. He was still sore about her comments the other day obviously. "Move along then, and I won't mention it to your Head of House." He sneered as he gave her the threat, and turned his back, walking back towards the direction of the room in question.

"Wait!" Rowan said, her voice wavering. He turned, eyebrow arched, and obviously shocked that _she_ had called him back.

"What is it?" he said in a clipped, low voice.

"I was looking for you earlier today," she lied. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh yes. Really?" he sounded sceptical.

"Yes," Rowan continued. "I...wanted to apologise for the other day. I said some things that either weren't true or were perhaps a little harsh, so I wanted to...say sorry." Lucius said nothing; his grey eyes locked on her with a steadfast stare. She gave him a weak smile to accompany her words. "That was all. Can you...forgive me?"

Lucius lifted his chin slightly and looked thoughtful. "Remorse looks good on you," he said finally with a smirk. "You should try it more often."

Rowan bit her tongue and merely spread a forced smile across her face. Lucius regarded her expression closely and walked forward a few steps. The corridor was dim but still his hair had lost none of its amazing lustre in the dark.

"Was there something else, Rowan?" he said softly. He glanced over his shoulder, towards the room he was supposed to be guarding and she grabbed hold of the opportunity with both hands.

"Oh," she said, pouting slightly. "You're...busy. It's ok; it can wait another time. I'm tired anyway," she said, turning on her heels and walking away. "Goodnight, Lucius."

He paced forward quickly and caught her arm with his long cold fingers. Rowan let her eyes flicker briefly to his grasp, and then to his eyes which were bright with something undistinguishable. "You wanted talk, so please; talk," he said with a smirk.

Rowan's lips parted slightly as she struggled to think of something to speak to him about. It was working; he was away from the door, and she had no doubt that James and the others had moved past, but they might need more time and she would have to buy it. Even if it meant talking about something awful.

She glanced at her watch; it was quarter to midnight. Snape would be here soon.

"I was thinking about the other day and what you said about..." Rowan swallowed hard. "Urm...Narcissa. How you didn't really care about her?" A gray area but something that would completely pull Lucius' attention to her, giving the boys ample time to eavesdrop.

Lucius stepped closer and looked slightly disbelieving; his eyes betrayed the questions he was asking in his mind – _was this really happening?_ – and Rowan almost felt bad for him.

"Narcissa?" he repeated slowly.

"Yes, you know, stunning blonde, entirely devoted to you?" Rowan tried to curb her sarcasm and looked down to stop herself from narrowing her eyes at him. "Girlfriend?"

"I know full well who she is Rowan," he sneered back. "I'm just a little surprised at your mentioning her. Since you more often than not tend to belittle or deny her existence."

"Well, I…" Rowan was never much good at lying in the face of young men. Especially Remus. He had the knack of twisting the truth out of her. Rowan cussed inwardly. Why was she thinking about Remus when Lucius stood before her, staring at her with deep interest? "I...er...wondered what you meant by all that?"

Lucius smirked at her and stepped closer once more; by now he was less than a foot from her and she could hear his breath. Looking down, feigning embarrassment, Rowan stared hard at her shoes but was shocked when she felt a cool hand lift her chin up and raise her face so she was looking at him again. She swallowed down a shudder. "What is this all about?" he said, his cool grey eyes piercing her.

"We used to be friends," she managed to say. Lucius laughed bitterly. "Friends? Yes we _used _to be friends, when we were younger and you didn't insist on running around with that bunch of treacherous miscreants, _who_," he said over the top of her protests, "care no more for your welfare than they do for mine."

"That isn't true," she whispered angrily, but her heart suddenly panged with hurt – would friends ask her to do something she did not want to do? Dismissing it, she swallowed hard. "Oh look, forget it, Malfoy. I only want to know if what you said was true, about liking me more than Narcissa. It doesn't exactly seem fair on the poor girl, but I was curious. For Merlin's sake," she added under her breath. The entire speech was rushed and angry, and she hoped he would let it all drop. How long until Snape was coming? Lucius smiled at her.

"Yes, it's true. However, Narcissa can be quite charming."

"Fine; that was all I wanted to know." Again, her exit was halted by his fingers wrapping themselves around her wrist. "But you already knew that Rowan," he said in a voice that sounded as if he were talking to a naughty child. "So why did you really come here?"

"I…" Rowan stuttered, feeling stumped. He was far too close now, standing in her space and for the first time, a part of her mind she tried to ignore was alive and thinking about how nice it felt for him to be there. It wasn't so much who it was, more the fact that he was _interested. It's nice to feel wanted,_ the voice in her mind said. _After all this waiting, and there's a boy who wants you NOW_. She swallowed hard. He was very intimidating.

"Rowan," he half whispered, still talking to her as if she were a little girl. "Come now."

She tried to open her mouth but couldn't. Lucius leaned down towards her open mouth and Rowan, frozen, inhaled, taking in his warm scent she had never noticed before. His lips were mere centimetres from hers and she couldn't think of a way to escape them, or if she wanted to, and when would the boys finally finish so this could all end…

"Lucius!" someone hissed. The blonde boy snapped his head back from her quickly and Rowan was shocked to find her knees were shaking. It was Snape. A glance at her watch told her it was midnight; she had made it to midnight. And not a second too soon. Severus looked around and then back to his friend. "Ok, it's time for us to switch now." He tried to look at Rowan but she was covered by the shadows and leaned in further to be hidden by Lucius' back. "You were supposed to be keeping watch," he sneered at Lucius. "Narcissa, is that you?"

When she didn't answer, Snape lost his smile and shook his head. "I'm horrified," he said blankly, "but not surprised." As if giving him time to say goodnight, Snape turned his back on Lucius and waited. His friend rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath, trying desperately to regulate his sharp and shallow breath. He spun on his heels to face her but frowned when he saw that the place where she stood was vacant and the corridor was empty apart from the two Slytherin's.

"Damn it!" Lucius hissed and Snape turned making frantic gestures to quieten him. "Silence, Malfoy. What in Merlin's name is wrong with you?"

Lucius pulled his cloak around him and sighed. "You really have an unparalleled ability to ruin the moment Severus." Snape watched his friend stalk away with confusion, wondering what on earth had just exchanged between the three people in the corridor.

*****

But there, of course, had not been three people in that corridor. There had been seven, including the three boys huddled under the cloak, and Peter in rat form wrapped up in James' pocket. They had witnessed very little of what happened between Rowan and Lucius; her awkward exchange and his nervousness. However, they had returned in time to see Lucius make his move on her, and Remus, who was feeling sick as it was, shook with rage as James and Sirius held onto him beneath the invisible fabric. James hushed him and looked at Rowan's brother with pleading eyes as if to say _help me._ Remus was not weak although he often looked frail, and with his whole body tensed, James wondered if he would be able to stop the young werewolf from charging Malfoy if he got any closer to Rowan. "Sirius!" Remus hissed. "He's gonna...put...his hands all...over her!" he managed to say before the other boys stifled his mouth with their hands. "It's my job to get mad if a guy molests my sister, and I don't think now is the time!" Sirius retorted in a single breath. They eventually pulled him away, just as Severus was thundering towards the scene, and Remus thanked Merlin that he had come just in time as he ran away to the common room.

Rowan joined them fifteen minutes later looking deeply perturbed. "I never want to do anything like that again," she said blankly. "That was..."

"Awful." Remus crossed his arms, pacing. "Just awf...really."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just...out of breath from the run," he lied, looking at the other three's boys who were dusting off their clothes and looking weary. "And you know, Lucius Malfoy just...disgusts me. And that's just like a Slytherin. To prey on our women." Rowan looked indignant for a moment before her brother laughed loudly.

"Calm down, Moony. He didn't almost kiss _you_," James joked. Sirius made a noise somewhere between a snort and a cry and looked suitably hacked off. "Well, I tell you," he began, "he's lucky we didn't want to be seen because I was damn near close to hexing his..."

"Let's just forget about it, ok," Rowan said with a weak smile. "Did you hear anything?"

The boys looked sheepish. "Erm...no, they'd hexed the room. We couldn't hear a thing," Peter admitted looking glum. "They tried to let me in," he continued, "but even as a rat I was repelled."

Rowan sighed deeply, but raised a hand when they tried to sorry. "Just keep your end of the bargain. Never again. Ok?"

They all nodded enthusiastically. "It was lucky Snape came when he did, eh Rowan?" Peter joked, gathering some books he had left on the table before they left. She paused and frowned momentarily, and then a sudden look of nausea washed over her young face. Remus started forward with concern but she looked up at them all with her hand to her mouth.

"I'm...er...I'm just gonna go brush my teeth," she said, in a small voice. Lily Evans couldn't understand why, when she came down from the dormitory a few moments later, the boys were laughing hysterically and Rowan was scampering away to the bathroom. She shrugged. She didn't bothering asking anymore.


	9. The Yule Ball

**Chapter 9 - The Yule Ball**

Rowan felt sick. She hated wearing dresses at the best of times, and there it hung; her worst nightmare. A feminine incarnation of deep purple and frills. Her mother had sent it, and it was bound to be hideous on. She could tell. There were _bows_. Rowan swallowed hard. This dress was not her. It was hard to imagine a dress that _was_ her, but this was most emphatically not it.

"It's not so bad, Rowan," Lily said; her own lovely dress hung from the frame of her four poster bed.

"It's a monstrosity Lily," she said quietly, "it's uglier than Filch. And I have nothing else." She sussed under her breath. "I knew I should have trusted my mother. What in Merlin's name was I thinking?"

"It could pass well on you; you have such a beautiful bone structure."

Rowan looked at her friend through narrowed eyes. "The sleeves are puffy Lily."

They stared for a while longer but it only seemed to increase in its repugnant glory.

"We could alter it?" Lily suggested.

Rowan pondered. "This was sent by my mother. It may be indestructible."

"We should try," Lily said fiercely, her red hair already elaborately styled for the Ball.

Rowan nodded, drawing her wand. "Here goes nothing."

"The sleeves need to go," Lily stepped back, bracing herself just in case. "_Garmentarius_!" Rowan called out in a clear voice. A long silvery strand flew from her wand as the Severing Charm took effect, and wrapped itself around the purple dress. The girls bit their lips in anticipation. "Please," Lily muttered. The silver haze worked quickly and Rowan could see the sleeves shrinking, bits of fabric falling off, or crumbing away. She suddenly panicked; what if it completely disintegrated or vanished? When the mist had cleared, thin straps remained, with a piece of floaty chiffon attached that would cover her shoulders gently.

"It worked," Rowan said, surprised. She couldn't hide ehr shock.

Lily clapped her hands in delight. "Cinders, you shall go to the Ball."

"Oh shut up Lily," Rowan groaned before setting her wand straight again, to begin work on those disastrous bows.

Remus had to ask Professor Dumbledore, to fasten his bow tie, because his own method caused it to become undone every five minutes. Dumbledore himself was dressed very finely; the shimmery sage green robes fell about him, making him look very majestic. Their headmaster had said something to the boys about not worrying, it was only a school dance and to make sure that they let their inner gentlemen escape tonight. He left them with a wink. They had all scrubbed up pretty well. Sirius, who carried whatever he wore naturally, had opted for red shirt underneath his dress robes, which Remus knew would be discarded by the end of the night. "They're so heavy," Sirius had said, while pulling them over his head, "how am I supposed to dance?"

"Merlin," James had laughed with his hands in his pockets of his dress robe, "Sirius' spirit of the dance is being hindered by anti-boogie robes."

Peter sniggered at something while they waited. He looked as thin and pasty as normal but had managed to make himself look presentable. Remus often wondered how this boy, who now pulled at a yellow tie, had managed to get into Gryffindor when he was frightened of the smallest things.

"That dark blue, is err...quite good on you Remus," James remarked awkwardly.

"We are only meant to comment on the girls dresses, James," Remus said pinching the skin between his nose, feeling older than he was, "You don't have to comment on each other's dress robes."

There was an audible sigh of relief from the other three boys.

"Why do girls take so long?" Sirius asked. "I'm thirsty."

Peter said something about being thirsty too, which was something he often did; mimicked the other boy's emotions, opinions or thoughts. Remus thought James was going to tell him to shut up, but the gaze of his friend was pulled away to the stair case, where four figures now walked down. Lily was taller tonight, Remus supposed because of heels, and had opted for a Grecian style, green dress, that matched her eyes. James' mouth dropped, and his eyes widened with shock. "Compose yourself," Sirius muttered jokingly, but he, too, was flabbergasted at his date for the evening; a pixie like Ravenclaw, whose hair was bright pink and cropped short. She had chosen a floral cocktail dress, which was unlike most of the girl's attire this evening. He knew Sirius would love this; he had a taste for the unusual. The girl who Peter had asked was a blonde Hufflepuff, and wore dark horn rimmed glasses. She was wearing a bright yellow dress, plain and strapless. The yellow matched Peter's tie, which Remus supposed was cute. Peter grinned excitedly.

But the tallest figure of the four, and still shorter than he, was Rowan, who graced down the stairs with a willowy air in a dark purple dress. The dress was decadent, much like the wearer; its floaty sleeves grazed her pale skin, and the chiffon layers moved effortlessly, like mist, as she moved. Rowan herself looked stunning, as she always did. Remus smiled a weak smile. Her hair had been neatly piled onto the back of her head by Lily he supposed (he couldn't imagine Rowan being up for doing her hair like that – if she'd had her own way in the matter, it would lay around her shoulders and un-brushed most likely), but already thin curly strands had fallen loose from its fixtures. James had already met Lily, and kissed her full on the mouth. He took her arm gently and led her to the great hall. The pixie date had leapt to Sirius, kissed his cheek, and Sirius led her forwards too, his face almost taken over by his grin. Peter held onto the Hufflepuff girl, who pushed the glasses up her nose anxiously. He hung back, but Remus gestured them on.

Rowan stopped in front of him. She was clenching and unclenching her fists; a sign of nervousness to all those who knew her well enough.

"We should go in," she said quickly, her voice breaking.

"You look...stunning," Remus breathed not able to take his eyes from her.

Rowan rolled her eyes and gave a weak smile. "I try," she muttered.

He put out his arm for her to take and felt nauseated when their skin met. It tingled where her fingers grazed the top of his hand. Taking a deep breath, he tried to concentrate but to no avail. She smelt divine.

"Remus, I don't think I can do this," she said, her voice almost sing-song.

He turned to look at her, swallowing hard. "Why not? Because everyone will be looking?"

Her eyes widened. "They will?"

"Of course." He took her hand, in a friendly way and ignored the electricity surging up and down his body. "You're going to be the most beautiful person the Hall. People are bound to stare for that."

Rowan looked in the hall, and waited for some giggling girls to pass them by.

"Shut up," she said with a weak smile, before taking his arm again.

*********************

"Poor Peter," said Rowan with little pity in her voice at all.

"Rowan," Lily warned, "have a heart."

"Sorry, he just...irritates me, and now he's moping about," Rowan said sighing.

"Well, it's still not very fair," Sirius added, "I mean his date didn't even say goodbye."

Remus scoffed. "I don't think she can speak at the moment."

His date was now kissing a boy from their house and seemed not to have given a second thought to Peter who was now sitting at the side with a drink, silent and his face sullen.

"Still," Sirius said cheerfully, "Let's not let it ruin _our_ night!" And he took the hand of his pretty Ravenclaw and pulled her to the dance floor. She didn't protest, only giggled.

James and Lily were nowhere to be seen and Remus was beginning to feel awkward. Every fibre of his teenage body was alive as he stood beside Rowan, who, true to his word, had stolen all the looks from everyone in the room. She seemed oblivious to the attention she received and just leant against the drinks table, a very sad expression in her eyes.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he managed to say, lamely. He was troubled by her grave eyes.

"I'm thinking how all this will end and we'll all have to leave each other."

Her sobering thought took Remus by surprise and he looked at her sharply.

"_What_?"

She looked at him. "We'll all grow apart."

"Why are you thinking about _that_?"

"I don't know. Sometimes, the thought just crosses my mind." She looked away. "Someone very kindly pointed it out the other day, and it's made me think about it a little more. Have you never thought of it?"

"No," he said quietly, "never. Was it Lucius? Did he say it?"

"It doesn't matter who said it. You honestly haven't thought about it? Not even with the whole...'moon' thing?" This was common slang now for his condition amongst his friends.

"I thought then that you'd all leave me, but only in the sense that we wouldn't be friends. No, nothing can break this. I mean, James and Sirius alone are thick as thieves, like brothers, and James and Lily are the real thing, I think."

"I know. But sometimes I feel..."

"What?"

"Like I'm not part of it. Like I'm a _shadow_."

He stared at her.

"Like Peter will be more remembered." She smiled weakly. "I don't think you understand me."

He paused. "I don't want you to ever leave my life."

It was a bold and courageous statement for a young man to make to the girl he thought he might love and the searing heat of his words almost caught in his throat. They certainly burnt his chest; his heart was beating like a drum.

"Thank you," she whispered, so quietly Remus wasn't sure he was meant to hear.

"_Remus_! The robes are off! The boogie is unleashed!" James shouted to him pointing at Sirius who had stripped to just his shirt and trousers; his robes lay discarded in a heap. "Come join us, pal!"

Remus looked sideways at Rowan, who was smiling widely. "How about it?"

"I hate dancing, as you well know," she said still smiling. "But since it's you and you asked _so_ nicely." Remus rolled his eyes and extended his hand.

Rowan couldn't bear it any longer. They weren't even dancing; she was in his arms not really being able to think about anything except the softness of his skin and the warmth that exuded from him. She felt uncomfortable watching Sirius dance with his partner. Elaborate, extravagant moves from somewhere in the fifties. But still, the closeness of Remus made her skin burn and his startling words to her before echoed in her mind. Her thoughts were following a circle, and never came to any kind of conclusion.

_"I don't want you to ever leave my life."_

They repeated themselves over and over. Whatever she might feel about shrinking away, did Remus care for her? Or was he really just a concerned friend? After all, he might say the same to any one of them.


	10. Saving Grace

_A/N: I realise there's a lot of Lucius hating going on, and now here's some more. Sorry about that. I love him really. Dedicated to Twannee who is just as mad as me about all this. RdF_

Chapter 10 – Saving Grace 

"Come on!" cried Sirius. "You two always walk so slowly!"

He was talking to Remus and Rowan who were deep in conversation, talking animatedly about their last Defence Against the Dark Arts class, in which they had both tackled a Bogart, impressing their professor no ends. Rowan looked at her brother with a scowl. "They'll still be there by the time we get there; we're not even five minutes away - _chill out_."

The 'they'll' she referred to was the Mer-people of the Great Lake within the Hogwarts grounds. Every one hundred years, the creatures that lived in the lake did what was called the "Honour Roll". It was ages old; legend had it, and legend could pretty much be taken as a truth at Hogwarts no matter how untrue it sounded, that the first real headmaster of Hogwarts had allowed them to live there in the Lake because he had been in love with their Chieftess – a particularly beautiful and mesmerizing specimen. However, they couldn't be together so she got her people to perform a dance, or display in honour of their love. They did it every year for him but the day of one of the Honour Rolls the headmaster was killed in a terrible duel. The Chieftess mourned for him deeply and vowed that the dance that honoured their love should be performed every one hundred years.

"I don't get it, why not every year?" Peter had asked when Remus read them the story.

"Because," Remus said patiently closing the leather bound book and replacing it on the shelf, "then it would just be standing on ceremony. This way it's precious, and gone in a moment. A lot like love, you see?"

So, it being the hundredth year since the last one, the Hogwarts students were all making their way to the Lake to witness this precious and fleeting experience; one that no one at Hogwarts would witness again for another century.

"Come _on!_" Sirius cried once more, with a raucous laugh. "Pick up the pace, bookworms." Remus glanced at him with a coy smile and Rowan rolled her eyes. "Fine," she murmured and broke into a sprint, pulling Remus along with her by gripping his sleeve tightly.

They had been at the head of the great crowd that were migrating to the pier that overlooked the Lake, and not many people were standing there yet. Pushing past some first years who looked as if they had _camped_ on the pier, the Marauders took their places at the front; Sirius leaning lazily with his back against the metal railings, James looking out for Lily as he always did, and Peter stepping cautiously away from the gap in the protective railing where the steps took you down to the watery depths. Remus and Rowan fell against it laughing.

The waters were still for the moment and it truly was a beautiful day. The sun, being late spring, was high in the sky and beating down on the dark surface of the Lake. A few ominous clouds threatened the tranquillity of the day and Rowan hoped deeply they would hold out until the display was over. James thrust out a hand and offered her a piece of gum, which she declined. Tucking her hair behind her ears she sighed.

"Something up?" Remus said quietly, so the others didn't hear.

"No, no," she smiled. "Just thinking. It's a nice day."

He nodded thoughtfully and shook his sandy hair out of his eyes. He was at the peak of the month; for a few days he would be at his best. His face looked less drawn and the dark circles under his eyes lessened. Even his hair had lustre to rival even Lucius Malfoy' trademark gold locks, as Sirius had joked once.

Rowan hadn't realised that there were Slytherins nearby until she saw James and Sirius stiffened out of the corner of her eye, and both boys adopted wary stances with their hands thrust deep into their pockets where she knew they were clutching their wands. It was unlikely that Malfoy, who was leading the pack, would start a sparring match between them when so many teachers were nearby. Professor Kettleburn was ushering people onto the platform. Snape was at the back, peering out from his dark hair. Rowan saw his eyes dart to find Lily.

"Oh look, some Gryffindor cubs," Narcissa cooed with a sneer at the boys. She looked particularly glamorous, hanging of the arm of Lucius and flicking her hair out of her eyes. "Typical that they should have front row seats."

"Well, you _worms _could have got here sooner," Sirius replied with a shrug, as if her comment had meant nothing at all. Lily suddenly called through the crowds, her red hair bouncing around her shoulders, and squeezed through to greet them. Snape cowered. "Hey guys! Sorry I'm late...oh," she said rolling her eyes, seeing what was going on. She took her place behind James.

"Never mind, Narcissa," Lucius said, not taking his eyes off Remus who was staring at him angrily. "We'll stand here," gesturing to the part of the pier to the left to the steps. As he said, it he shoved a second year away from the railings. The boy, who was short for his age anyway, looked incredulous before he saw who had pushed him, and then he scampered away looking apologetic. Any other people who had stood there were doing the same. Only a small group of first years stood between the Marauders and the Slytherins, hovering near the steps. Rowan scoffed.

"Wow. It must be great to be a bully. You seem to get everything you want," she said sarcastically turning her back on the situation and looking out once more.

Before Lucius could retaliate a great chorus of something shrill pierced the air and silenced everyone's chatter. It went still a moment more, before, suddenly, bright shapes began to move beneath the surface. Everyone craned to see what was happening. Seconds later the mer-people began to leap from the water in a lithe formation; twisting and moving through the air effortlessly, and then returning to the Lake with neat splashes.

"Whoa!" Sirius laughed as one Mer-woman leapt so high she was mere metres from his face, her strange cold eyes surveying him briefly before returning. It was beautiful, and when you knew why they were doing it, it was sad. Rowan smiled as jets of what seemed to be gold water shot up in vertical jets from the Lake, like a shining fountain. "What's that?" she whispered to Remus who looked awestruck.

"I have no idea," he replied softly.

As soon as it had begun, it was over; the whole display climaxed when the new Chieftess of the clan was raised by an enormous jet to the centre of the lake. From there she repeated the shrill noise once more, before twisting her body and diving down in the Lake. "That noise..." Rowan began.

"We can't understand it unless we're underwater," Remus cried over the applause, "'_Les rêves ne sont pas la réalité'..._? _Dreams are not reality, but when you act with love, the world will be yours._" He paused. "It was in the book..." he smiled.

"Oh yeah," Rowan mused as the waters grew still once more. "Fairytales aren't real."

"Well, kind of. But it's acknowledging that love is a powerful magic," Lily said, joining their conversation. Rowan nodded and looked back at the Lake, resting on the rails for a moment.

James laid his hands on Remus; shoulders. "Come on buddy. Wizard chess awaits!"

Remus rolled his eyes as the group started to move off along with the crowd. "We have homework."

"You think I'm going to do homework and let you're victory over me yesterday slide? No, no, no, Moony. I demand a rematch." James pushed his glasses up his nose.

"I don't know why you bother," Peter laughed. "Remus always wi..."

He didn't get as far as finishing his sentence as a sharp, high pitched cry filled the sky again, followed by a noisy splash. Everyone who had heard stopped and turned, confused and horrified. The girls near the steps were close to hysterical as they leaned over and pointed. "Freya! Freya's fallen in!"

"Merlin!" Sirius cried, moving quickly. "Professor Kettleburn! Come quick!"

But Rowan had acted faster. Pulling off her jacket and shoes, she stepped back, pacing herself for the jump, and, shooting forward before Remus could grab her arm and stop her, she launched herself off of the end of the pier where the steps were. She braced herself for the cold water, making sure her body was straight as the Lake came closer and closer to her. The last thing she heard was her brother's cry before she cut through the surface and went deep in to the murky waters.

"Stupid..." Sirius spat, the concern spreading across his face instantly when he realised what she'd done. He went to pull his own jacket off before James grabbed his arm and shook his head. "There's no sense in two of you being in there," he mumbled. Professor Kettleburn looked exasperated before he barked at some other Gryffindors to gather some more teachers. "What in Merlin's name does she think she's doin'?" he asked in a gruff Irish voice. Lily looked at him calmly. "Little Freya Archer has fallen off sir, and Rowan went in after her."

A sharp laugh came from the railings, where Lucius lounged against them. "A Gryffindor playing heroics? What are the odds?" he said snidely. Sirius went for him, pulling his wand out, and James, Peter and Remus made an half hearted attempt to stop him. It was Kettleburn who pushed him back. "_None of that_," he commanded, looking at them both. "Any sign of her?"

"None. Neither of them has surfaced," Peter said in a small voice.

The waters seemed stiller than they had ever been and everyone who was waiting stood holding their breath. Remus looked at Sirius as if to say _can't we do something?_ But the reply in his friend's eyes was grave.

Suddenly the Lake moved and Rowan burst through it gasping for breath. She had Freya on her back, seemingly alive as she too struggled for air, retching and wheezing. Swimming towards the steps, she helped the girl on, positioning her so she wasn't going to slip off and urged her to climb breathlessly. The Marauders breathed a sigh of relief collectively. Lily, unseen, squeezed Remus' hand to reassure him. They were cold and clammy from panic so he smiled apologetically.

Freya climbed quickly, spluttering as she went. When she climbed over the edge, her face was red and puffy and she looked as if she was going to burst into tears. Her sister, Josie Archer shot through the crowd and took hold of her without thinking for a second that she was drenched, her clothes icy from the water. Rowan pulled herself up a minute later, exhausted more from the climb. She didn't look relieved however. Ignoring her friends, she scanned the crowd angrily.

"Where is he?" she said hoarsely. Her hair was pressed against her face, dripping and her clothes were clinging tightly to her body. She stumbled forward slightly and once she had found her footing, stormed towards the retreating group of Slytherins. Stopping, she bellowed, "Lucius Malfoy!"

He turned, with an eyebrow raised, looking confused. The crowd fell silent for the third time that afternoon. "You called?" he said sarcastically.

Rowan stepped forward, dripping water as she went. She looked thunderous and the Marauders were confused. "You slimy coward. You pushed her!"

The crowd gasped and Lucius, ever cool, looked at the group behind him first and then to Freya who was whimpering. "No, no I don't think I did. Sorry. She must have fallen. Dangerous play to stand."

Freya struggled to her feet. "No," she squeaked. "I remember. I _was _pushed. I didn't see who though."

"I did," Rowan said angrily. "And it was _him_." She pointed her wand into his chest making him step back a little.

"Say your ludicrous theory is correct, which it is not, why on earth would I push her off?" Lucius said with a mocking expression. Rowan laughed bitterly. "I suppose, unfortunately, and as disgusting as it may be, it might have something to do with the fact she's Muggleborn. After all, isn't that the way you think these days?" Lucius didn't reply, but met her glare with a steely expression. She bore her wand a little deeper into his chest.

"Rowan!" Kettleburn cried. "What are you doin'?"

"Executing justice! Malfoy pushed Freya off the pier into the waters. If she had fallen badly, she could have broken her neck. That's attempted murder!" She turned her narrowed eyes back to Lucius who remained blanched. She was shivering but she couldn't tell whether that was the cold or rage. "Don't people get sent to Azkaban for that?"

"Yes, but only when there's evidence!" Kettleburn sighed. "Now you did ya' good deed by saving the lass. One hundred points to Gryffindor. And I'll tell Headmaster all about this and what ya saw. But lemme take over from here, ok? Me being the teacher an' all."

Rowan exhaled deeply through her nose before picking up her shoes and coat haughtily and pushing past them violently. The Marauders had little choice but to follow her and the trail of drips all the way back to the common room.

****************

"Here you go," Lily said kindly, handing Rowan some towels, who snatched them from her angrily and then sighed. "Sorry," she muttered before heading into the bathroom to dry herself off and get changed. Minutes later, she returned in a warm jumper and some trousers, her hair pulled back but dry for the most part. She was pale and still shivering, so Sirius flicked his wand and the already lit fire in the heart bloomed and swelled, spreading heat throughout the room. Remus took his jacket off and sat beside her. "So..." he began.

"You guys believe me right?" she said, her eyes searching their faces. "It's just you haven't said anything."

"Oh, we believe you!" James laughed. "I mean, it is Lucius Malfoy."

"Him and his motley crew are up to all sorts of slimy things these days," Peter said with a grim expression. "Freddie Weston was found beaten up last week. He's a Muggleborn, but one of his grandparents is a wizard I think. No one _saw _them do it, but it had their modus operandi all over it."

"What? Cowardice? Waiting in the shadows?" Remus scoffed.

"Exactly that."

"It's only that," James said thoughtfully. "We didn't actually _see_ him do it, but we still believe you."

Rowan smiled at them all and sat back and sighed. "I'm knackered."

"I'm not surprised," said Lily, re-entering the common room with a pot of tea, and six mugs. She poured one for Rowan first, who wrapped her fingers around the mug, desperately seeking its warmth. "I can't _believe_ you dived off the edge!" She looked at her with an expression that seemed to suggest how reckless Lily thought it was.

"What's it like down there?" Peter asked running his fingers through his hair.

"Dark. Wet," Rowan added with a faint smile. "Cold. Scary." She paused. "I didn't see her for a while and my throat began to burn so I quickly did the Bubble Charm that Lily taught me. There were...Mer-people. They weren't very helpful," she said crossly.

"You heard them under the water then?" Remus said softly, looking at her. She nodded. "They weren't very happy. No one's supposed to go in the Lake without their permission you see, so...they wouldn't tell me where she was. Luckily I spotted her and we got out as soon as we could."

The portrait door swung open and their headmaster, Professor Dumbledore stepped into the room with a grave expression, followed by Kettleburn. "Good evening, Gryffindors," he said in a musical voice. "I understand you witnessed the incident." He looked at Rowan pointedly over the top of his half moon spectacles. She nodded. "So you say he pushed her? Lucius Malfoy?" His eyes were searching. "Nothing like this has ever happened before and I need to be entirely sure."

"Yes, I saw him. He whispered something to Severus Snape and he pushed her," Rowan replied calmly before sipping some tea. Lily looked angry for a moment and James touched her shoulder lightly. Dumbledore nodded, his beard twitching as he thought.

"And you assure me, also, that this has nothing to do with the grudge you and Malfoy seem have?" The others expected Rowan to explode but she glanced up and shook her head. "This is about doing what's right and not standing by and letting this type of thing happen. I'll admit, I'm far from perfect but the school surely can't sit and allow for behaviour like this to continue."

Kettleburn spoke up. "Rowan, like I said befor', we've got very little evidence but yer statement."

"And Freya's."

"She knew she was pushed but not by who. Just because he was standing near her, doesn' mean he did it, lass."

Rowan nodded glumly. "I see."

"I saw him."

The group looked at the person who had just spoken. Peter was standing by the fire, lip quivering slightly. "I saw him push her."

Rowan stared at him.

"He was quick and then he walked off," the blonde boy said sadly. "I didn't mention it because...well, I was afraid. He _was _standing right there. And while he wouldn't do anything to Rowan, he'd certainly repay me for speaking up. Sorry guys," he added, looking genuinely ashamed.

Dumbledore looked at the boy with a curious expression, his eyes twinkling. "Two witnesses. Well, if you're certain..."

"We are." Peter looked at Rowan with a smile. "It was Lucius." Dumbledore gave them a friendly smile. "Thank you, Peter."

The two teachers nodded and thanked them for their time, before leaving the room in a perturbed silence. "Why...why did you say that you saw him?" Rowan began. "You didn't did you?" James asked.

Peter shook his head. "No. But you're right. We should stand by and let that happen. I knew he did it; you did...Merlin, so did they! But nothing would get done if only you saw it so..." he looked sheepish. "I guess that makes me a liar."

"And I hadn't thought you capable of lying that quickly!" Sirius mused, slapping him hard on the back.

"Thanks," Rowan said quietly. Peter shrugged.

Remus stared at Rowan as she nibbled a biscuit, looking thoughtful as she did so. "Sad times we're living in," he said. She nodded. "Who'd have thought something like that could happen? Just because her parents are Muggles. I mean, I've grown up with it but our parents are slightly passive...activists. They believe in getting other people to do their dirty work."

Remus laughed, but saw her shiver. "You're still cold?" he asked. She touched his face with her fingers and he recoiled as he felt how icy they were. She gave him a smile. "A little."

"Come here," he sighed, draping and arm round her and pulling her into a warm embrace. "What's the use of being a werewolf if you can't share out your excess body heat once in a while?"

She lay her head on his shoulder and sighed deeply, staring at the fire until she fell asleep.


	11. Homeward Bound

Chapter 11 – Homeward Bound

Rowan stormed downstairs pursued by her angry mother who was hurling abuse at her as she did so. Walburga Black was trying to keep up with her teenage daughter but gathering her dark robes and running after her proved a handful as Rowan was in the library and alerting Sirius before Walburga reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Rowan Melania Black! How dare you walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" the woman screeched, looking every inch the tyrannical dictator with her hands on her hips. Sirius rose from where he had been gloomily reading in the library of Grimmauld place and pushed Rowan gently so she stood behind him. "What is the problem, Mother?" he asked curtly, narrowing his eyes at the dark haired woman but Walburga ignored him.

"Orion!" she called out, to the man who was elsewhere in the house. "Orion! Come here and talk some sense into your child!"

Orion came down the stairs moments later; a tall man with whom the twins shared their dark features – Rowan was thankful she had not inherited her looks from her mother's side of the family as they were all Crabbe's. He thrust his hands into his pockets wearily and surveyed his children with a look on contempt. "What in Merlin's name is going on here?" he said in a deep voice.

"Your _daughter_'s best friend at school is a Muggleborn! Lily Evans was it?" She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I'm surprised I couldn't tell from that hideously common name."

Rowan looked at Sirius. "She's been shifting through my letters. One's from Remus, James, Peter, Lily...I'm sorry. When she asked about the Evan's, I couldn't lie. I shouldn't have to," she added angrily, glaring at her mother.

Orion shook his head and breathed deeply. "Rowan, and Sirius, this is not the first time you've forgotten who you are."

It was Sirius who lost it this time. His fists clenched and he laughed loudly. "How could we bloody forget, Dad? You and Mum continuously cramming the name of Black down our throats. I'm sick of this pure blood mania. It's getting a little old," he sneered.

Mrs. Black looked shocked. "The Black's are the oldest and purest family in the Wizarding world!"

"And?" Rowan asked. "It doesn't make us any better than other people. Lily is far better at Charms than me," she said over her mother's cries of despair, "and last term, it was because of something _she'd _taught me that I could save that girl's life!"

"Yes; a Muggleborn girl also I understand," her father interjected, examining his nails. "Quite a habit. And you needn't have bothered really. One less for the world to think about." Rowan's mouth dropped open.

"And I don't suppose we'd even know about it," Orion continued, "if Lucius hadn't of sent us an owl."

"I wonder if_ Lucius _told you the entire story, Father," Sirius, sneering his name and crossing arms. "Did he tell you he was the one that pushed her?"

"No, but I'm sure it was a misunderstanding."

Rowan looked incredulous and brushed her hair back from her face. Sirius laid a hand on her arm to calm her but she was shaking slightly; with fear or anger, he couldn't tell.

"And," Mrs. Black continued. "He told us you've rejected him on several occasions; he asked you to the Yule Ball and you went with another boy?" Her mother's gaze was searching. "You do realise his mother and I have been planning your union since infancy?"

"Yes; you and Helene have insisted on drumming that into me at every available opportunity, _yes_!" Rowan cried, jabbing her finger into the side of her head as if to prove a point.

"What's wrong with him?" Orion chuckled. "He's a pure blood, and he got Abraxas' good looks..."

Rowan shook her head, unable to speak.

"And you, boy, why haven't you stopped your sister from hanging around with those sorts of people? You should have encouraged her to accept Malfoy!"

Sirius shrugged as if it was perfectly clear to him. "Why would I do that? I don't have a problem with Muggleborns and besides, I wouldn't let Lucius touch Rowan with a barge pole. He's a cretinous git, and a nasty piece of work."

His parents looked horrified. "I can't understand you two," Orion shouted. "Why can't you be more like Regalus? He understands what his duty is." Rowan rolled her eyes. They were always using Regalus as the perfect example.

"_Toujours pur_!" their mother screeched. "Being at Hogwarts has made you forget what it means to be a Black. Kreacher is more of a Black than you two will ever be, and he's not even human." She was beginning to grow tearful now, and her husband reached out to comfort her. "I think the best thing," he said sternly, patting Walburga's arm "is that you don't return in September."

Sirius exploded. "_What!_" he bellowed. He shook and it was Rowan's turn to try to calm him.

"The best times of my life have been at that school, away from you! _Toujours pur? _Don't make me laugh. We may be 'pure' blood-wise, but we are dirty everywhere else. Try as hard as I might to be a good person, I just can't wipe clean of my name!" Sirius cried. "I hate this house and your mindset! It's oppressive! I can't breathe, and neither can Rowan. Why can't you let us make up our own views and just wipe us from the family history like you do everyone else? Like Aunt Andromeda," Sirius said as his mother pulled a face.

"But you're our children; you have to continue the line..."

Orion didn't get to finish before Sirius marched forward and pushed his father into the wall, holding him there by the collar of his shirt. "Shall I tell you about lines? They mean nothing! We're a dying breed, pure-bloods, and the sooner you come to the realisation that we are not royalty, the better off you'll be! I dated a Muggleborn girl last year," Sirius said with a wicked smile. "She was amazing, and a brilliant witch. One hell of a looker too. Admittedly, her dad was a wizard so she was half-blood but hey, I've had my eye on Josie Archer for a while and both her parents are as Muggle as they come!" He laughed, as his father tried to struggle free. Rowan didn't move. She just glared at her mother.

"One of best friends, Remus," Rowan gasped as she thought he was going to tell her Remus' secret in his temper, "He's a half-blood too!" Rowan breathed a sigh of relief as Sirius paused, and looked thoughtful. "You know, I can see myself marrying one. Just to mix it up a bit. Just like Aunt Andromeda."

"You wouldn't," his mother said, her voice shaking. She sounded unsure of what her son _would _do.

"I would, if I bloody well wanted to," he said in a low voice, dropping his father. Orion tried to compose himself to face his son, but Sirius had already stormed past him in a fury and shot upstairs. "Rowan!" he bellowed from the top. "Come here!"

She didn't hesitate. Running up, she faced him. His hair was as wild as he was at the time but his eyes were bright and the smile he wore was a happy one. "Let's get out of here," he said, taking her by the shoulders in a strong grasp. "Let's leave and not come back."

She nodded enthusiastically, and ran to her room. Mrs. Black and her husband stood at the bottom and gazed up. "What are you doing?" Orion choked. Walburga looked at him in a panic. "Go up there, man! Do something! Hex them if you have to!"

He began to pace the stairs, suddenly hearing the frantic sounds of two teenagers throwing things around. Seconds later, Sirius emerged from his room, with a suitcase in one hand. "We'll send for our things, Rowan," he said gleefully, but still rage-driven. His sister walked over to him, now wearing a coat and carrying her duffel bag and both of them pushed past their father on the grim staircase, nearly knocking them down. Walburga looked outraged.

"If you leave this house, you are no longer my children! Do you understand? I will disown you! You will no more be a part of me than a blemish or a wart. You'll be dead to me!" Rowan and Sirius looked at each other; Rowan was carrying her owl Romulus who was hooting softly. She pulled a face.

"We don't care anymore. We haven't been your children for a long time."

Sirius opened the door for his sister and the light from outside fell upon his parent's stunned faces. Kreacher, their house elf, emerged from under the stairs with a beaming smile as they stepped out into the street. "Good riddance, to the most noble and ancient house of Black," Sirius said in a low, threatening voice before Rowan slammed the door and they began to walk into London.

****

Mrs. Amelia Potter was surprised when she heard a knock on the door late at night. She was even more surprised when she opened it to see the Black Twins, looking exhausted, carrying their overnight bags but beaming wildly. "James," she called out. "I think there are some visitor's for you."

James bounded down the stairs to his home, confused, but upon seeing his friends broke into laughter and hugged them. His father, John, wandered in from the sitting room to see what all the commotion was about and was surprised at the scene.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing here?" James laughed, taking their bags and flinging them at the bottom of the stairs. The house was the complete opposite to Grimmauld Place; bright, open and welcoming. Rowan had known the Potter's were not short of money but this was a mansion. James had certainly kept that quiet.

"It's a long story but it involves us leaving home, and our mother disowning us," Sirius smiled weakly. "I don't suppose we could stay here for a little while? We had nowhere else to go. No where I could think to go anyway."

"Of course," Amelia smiled warmly; she was a fairly elderly woman who had given birth to James quite late in her life and she gave the impression of being very grandmotherly to everyone. Her light blonde hair was short and curled and a pair of reading glasses hung on a chain around her neck. James' father was the older doppelganger for his son; tall, scruffy, dark hair and glasses also. "We'd be pleased to have some of James' friends stay," he said in a hoarse voice. "I'd like to say it's fairly peaceful here but you know my son so..."

They all laughed and were ushered into the dining room to eat something. "You're far too thin," Amelia remarked to Rowan, flicking her wand to set the table quickly. Rowan looked apologetic and smiled.

"You'll have to forgive us; we've fed on nothing but demented ideology and green string beans all our lives," Sirius joked. "It's amazing we're the size we are. Ask James. We eat like horses at school."

"James eats like a horse everywhere," Amelia said fondly. "Go on, boy, set up a couple of guest rooms for your friends and I'll get Fringer to do Lily's tomorrow. I won't disturb the house elves now," she said softly. James ran off.

It was another hour before the twins were shown to their separate rooms where they could finally get some rest. They'd eaten their fill and laughed so hard they thought they'd stop breathing. Now, on pleasantly contented stomachs, they crawled into their new beds to sleep, and felt immediately like they were home as soon as their heads touched the pillows.


	12. Monsters

Chapter 12 – Monsters

Rowan laughed loudly. "I'll have to tell Harry that tomorrow! He'd love the story of me and Sirius, bedraggled from wandering London all day, catching buses and trains because we hadn't taken our apparition exams yet..."

"And just turning up at their door."

"They were so kind to us," Rowan smiled wistfully. "I miss them a lot."

"They were always kind to me too," Remus agreed, "when I stayed there."

"Amelia and John Potter were kind to everyone they ever met I think," Rowan observed. "I can't remember a time where I heard them get cross at James or even say a bad word about anyone. Sirius used to say that anyone would seem like Mother Theresa next to our mother."

Remus chuckled and put his hands in his cardigan pockets in a vain attempt to get warm them. His internal temperature ran a little higher than most so he couldn't imagine how cold Rowan must feel. Yet, she seemed largely unphased by the frosty air so he shook off his concern and carried on.

"And then it was our final year."

"Yeah. And Uncle Alphard died so Sirius could afford to buy us a house. Seeing as our dear parents cut us off when we were disowned," she added darkly. "She really did mean it when she said we were dead to her." She paused. "It must have really hacked her off that she couldn't stop money being left to us by our dead relatives."

Remus smiled at how talkative she was being. She seemed more alive now and excited as they unearthed the past. He listened quietly.

"So by final year, _we_ were self-sufficient, James was with the girl of his dreams, and you..."

"I was a prefect, as were you," Remus added. "Which was madness on Dumbledore's part. He must have known we'd let James and Sirius get away with murder."

"Oh, we let them get away with a lot but I don't think actual murder was on there," she said with a raised eyebrow.

"Near enough," he said gloomily, thinking back to the times he'd stood by and done nothing as his friend's bullied Snape and then that final year, when he'd come so close to biting Severus, all because of some stupid prank.

"It was a good year for many reasons, but it was also a difficult one," he said after some time, in a thoughtful tone. She turned to him. "Do you regret any of it?"

"A lot of it," he said sadly. "I made a lot of foolish mistakes that year. We all did, but I made some of the worst."

****

Past Times

Hogwarts, Seventh Year

Snape crept along the corridor towards the courtyard where he could sneak out and into the night. This was something he had been waiting for; a chance to get even with those stupid Marauders. Merlin, how he despised them, especially Potter now he was with Lily. But the Black boy didn't bank on Snape overhearing them discussing their next escapade – Snape had always been gifted with a light tread and quiet breath. When he caught them, sneaking out, he could report them and gain some respect instead of always being the one that was overlooked or trodden down.

Glancing up at the full shining orb in the sky, he wondered what exactly they were up to by the Weeping Willow. He had heard Sirius say something about Pettigrew freezing the knot and then climbing through the hatch. He wondered where it would lead to, and in a sudden thought, he wished desperately it would be their 'secret den'; the place they regarded as the most sacred. Because once Snape knew where it was, it wouldn't be special anymore. His presence would ruin it. Just like James ruined his and Lily's relationship.

Snape winced as he thought it. It hadn't entirely been Potter's fault. He regretted calling her a Mudblood each day.

Walking quickly across the open grass towards the great tree, he marvelled at how still it was when usually the slightest twitch in the air would send its enormous branches into a mad frenzy of violence. Wary of it still, Snape sidled underneath it with great easy, wand ready to protect himself should the need arise. Then he saw it; the hole. It was certainly big enough for a young man to fit in, never mind four and the girl.

Sliding down and crawling in, Snape could think of nothing but his victory.

****

Rowan was running.

"You idiot!" she cried as she jumped over the rocks imbedded in the landscape surrounded Hogwarts. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"It was supposed to be a joke!" Sirius yelled back, not far behind her. His face was a picture of humility and fear. "I never thought he'd go down it!"

"What'd you think he'd do?" she continued, feeling a stitch in her side forming.

James had got there before her and her brother; as soon as the words had come from Sirius' mouth James had darted off, cursing him for his stupidity. Rowan stopped short of the tree, bent over in pain from having run faster than she thought possible, with Peter and Sirius stopping either side of her.

"What can we do?" Peter mumbled, breathing heavily.

"Nothing," Rowan spat. "You know if anything happens to Snape..."

"We'll be slaughtered, I know," Sirius wheezed.

"Worse than that; Remus will never forgive himself!"

The young man fell quiet and sighed. "Sorry," he mumbled. "It was meant to be a joke."

"Just shut up, ok."

They waited for some sign of movement from the old tree but it was as still as it ever was when the knot just below it had been touched; that was how Sirius had left it to entice Snape. Each teenager's senses were alert – if there was any sign of Remus, or Wolf-Remus, they would have to run. Even Rowan had to admit that it was not her friend; it was a terrifying beast that wouldn't think twice to maul her.

It seemed liked hours later when James pulled through, struggling frantically, and pulling the greasy haired boy with him. Snape seemed to be slipping in and out of consciousness. They ran to meet them, helped James pull him from the hole and out of sight Peter changed into a rat, to activate the tree's knot. As soon as they were clear, the branches snapped into animation, thrashing wildly as if the tree were fighting with some invisible foe. The Marauders lay panting on the hillside and Snape had finally succumbed to the faint of terror that had struck him. His eyes fluttered shut.

Peter strolled over, his own chest heaving from the excitement. "Oh Merlin," he groaned. "Moony is going to kill us."

****

Rowan pulled her hood of her robe over her head. It was raining as it often did after a full moon. She liked to think it was washing away their lies and deceit and they could start again next month. She loved the rain. Just last month they'd been out, all four of them, and Peter of course tagging along, and Lily with James. It had been deliriously hot, but the skies clouded over, and all that was left of the sun was a strip of it bursting through a mass of grey; that was the first sign of a storm. As they'd walked back after a lazy Saturday, eating until they felt fat, and the air became close, suddenly, the heavens opened and their clothes were stuck to their skin. She'd only worn shorts and a t-shirt and the big fat droplets had fallen hard and fast, whipping her legs. But they'd all kept running, until they got to the bridge, where they could all catch their breath. Peter was wheezing, James and Lily were kissing, and Sirius and Remus were talking animatedly, and she, always quiet at times such as this, looked out. As soon as it had started, the rain stopped again, leaving space for the sun to break out once more. Remus had walked over and pulled a strand of wet hair out of her eyes. They had looked at each other, and Remus looked in the direction of their kissing friends. She had been sure he was going to say something, do something, until Sirius said, "Come on!" and they all ran off again, desperate to be dry; the pounding in her chest quietening with every step.

Someone coughed behind her, taking her out of her memory. It was Remus. His hood was down so his hair was wet and he looked tired and drawn. She knew he'd been crying.

"Where have you been?" She asked looked back out over the bridge's edge.

"Around. The Shack mainly."

"We were all worried about you."

"You didn't need to be."

She said nothing. Rowan knew all too well why he had to hide himself, he was ashamed. Ashamed of almost biting Severus, ashamed of losing that little piece of self control he thought he'd had over himself.

"It's not your fault Remus," she said quietly, not looking at him.

He walked towards her and rested on the ledge of the bridge. "Yes it is," he mumbled, "I'm the monster."

"No, it's Sirius' fault. I don't know what he was thinking." Rowan cocked her head to one side, smiled, and said "Besides, you don't look like a monster."

Remus' face was blank. "This isn't funny Rowan, he could have died. Sirius put me and Severus in an awful position. All for the sake of some practical joke.

Rowan dropped the smile and looked out once more.

"I don't want any of you coming out next month. Especially not you," he said after a while.

Rowan frowned. "Why? You know us being there makes it easier."

"It's too dangerous. Look what happened the other night. I could have bitten anyone of you, never mind Severus. I couldn't live with that. It's not fair that you ask me to."

"No," she said shaking her head. "I made that choice, we all did, and we made a promise."

"I can handle the secret. I can handle the pain of the transformation. I can even handle the horrible sick feeling I get every day knowing what I am, but I could not, never, handle the feeling or the guilt I would have if I ever bit you. Any of you."

"It's our decision!"

Remus half threw his arms up and crossed over the other side of the bridge.

"You make it sound chivalrous, valiant. But you know as well as I do without a bit of excitement every month, a bit of adventure, James and Sirius would go mad..."

"No!" she said angrily, cutting him off, "those boys would risk everything for you. How could you say that? How could you even think that?"

Remus looked at her, an eyebrow raised. "You're no different," he scoffed walking towards her, "you constantly live in your brother's shadow, needing to prove to everyone you are a part of something. Acting the hero. You're as bad as Peter."

She slapped him hard across the face, her own white skin pale and her eyes stinging with hot tears. As he looked up, his face had quickly flushed red. She was shaking from head to foot. "I don't know," she whispered tearfully, "what to say to you." She picked up her bag and slung it angrily over her shoulders. She couldn't stop the tears streaming down her face. "Rowan," he tried to say, weariness dripping from his voice. "I didn't mean that. Come back." She ignored him and turned to walk away.

Remus said nothing more, but held his hands in fists beside his body until she had gone. Once she was off the bridge and headed to the castle, he cried out and slammed a clenched fist into a pillar of the bridge. How was he going to repair this one?

****

**Present Times**

"I didn't mean what I said," Remus said quietly. "On the bridge." He looked grave and sheepish as he remembered it. Closing his eyes, he sighed.

Rowan looked at him and smiled. "You meant some of it."

"Honestly. I needed to get you away from me, so I made you as mad as I could. It was quite an affectionate gesture. In context..." he trailed off.

"But you all froze me out for a good few months. It was awful; I hadn't realised the only friends I had were you four until I only had Lily to talk to. The worst part was you let the boys carry on with you each month. _And_ Sirius backed you up."

"Sirius had a scare that night; he realised he was letting you run around with danger." Rowan raised an eyebrow at the way Remus described his wolf nature. "I cared more about...about ruining your life. The others could have handled it."

Rowan stood up. "That's...the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I have spent most of my life 'handling things' perfectly fine, as you know..."

"I was seventeen!" Remus cried in desperation. "Please...don't fight with me now."

Rowan sat back down slowly beside him once more. He sighed deeply.

"I'm...sick of fighting." Remus looked at her briefly. She nudged him with her elbow playfully. "It's ok; I forgave you. After much grovelling."

"Yes, and you talked me into letting you come out with us again."

She smiled coyly. "You kind of owed me for the whole 'living in your brother's shadow' thing." He groaned and out his head in his hands. "Don't repeat it!" He paused. "You can be pretty persuasive when you want to be, but, we should have stuck to our guns. But everyone thinks they're invincible at that age."

She scoffed. "The Marauders never stopped thinking it." He looked at her strangely. "No, I suppose not."


	13. Love Is In The Air

Chapter – Love Is In The Air

Hogwarts, The Past

James had always hated Valentine's Day. Sirius loved it but that was probably largely to do with the fact that he got the most attention of the group on February the 14th. He couldn't move for all the cards and gifts that swamped his four poster bed and table at breakfast. And he did fake modesty so badly, cooing thankfully when he opened another red card and winking at the girl from across the room. Peter was usually glum because he didn't ever get anything but today he had a few cards; of late he had gained more recognition for the fact that he hung around with Potter and Black and that he was actually becoming a man. Rowan and Remus didn't really pay much heed to the holiday. And James, although not short of admirers, hated it all because the one person he'd wanted to spend Valentine's Day with for the last seven years hadn't been interested. And now she was, he was stumped at what to get her.

Lily was sat at the breakfast table, laughing hysterically at a joke one of the girls had made. Merlin, he just loved everything about her. He could remember distinctly the turning point from which they had begun the relationship that had surprised everyone; when she stopped talking to him in clipped insults and actually had a normal conversation with him.

"Oh, another one from that _persistent_ Ravenclaw," Sirius smiled. The dark haired boy was in ridiculously high spirits. "She's very good looking but...well, she sends cards all year. Hardly a challenge."

"Sirius," Remus said from his book. "You're making feel ill."

"Yeah, mate, shut up will you?" James moaned, spooning some scrambled eggs around his plate.

"Come on, Prongs," Sirius grinned. "Open yours up; you'll feel better."

"Not unless there's one from Lily Evans he won't," said Rowan, who was also reading. She had a few cards too and a box, all of which lay untouched. "Sis," Sirius joked. "Despite all your efforts to convince everyone you're a troll, some people sent you some things!"

She glanced at the pile, and without looking back up, she brushed them clean off the table with her hand so they made a resounding thud on the stone floor and the cards scattered. Remus struggled to fight a smile.

"Come now, Sirius," Remus said after a few moments. "Can you be a little more sensitive? Poor James is obviously troubled."

"Shut up, no I'm not."

Rowan laughed. "Oh come on. You've been staring at her for the last twenty minutes, like a puppy." She pulled a face at 'puppy'.

James snapped his head away from Lily's direction. "I was looking at..."

"What? The top table? The rather fetching robes Professor Dumbledore is wearing?" Sirius asked. Their transfigurations teacher was pushing his half moon spectacles up his nose and eating some fried mushrooms. His robes were a billowing grey today.

"You're getting on my wick, Black," James threatened as he returned to his now cold breakfast. "Shut up. All of you."

"Would this have anything to do with finding Lily the perfect Valentine's Day present? Because I may be able to help."

All four boys turned to look at her with curious expressions. She shrugged; the long plait that was resting on her shoulders moving as she did so. "Perks of sharing a room with the girl I guess.

"_What?_" James hissed moving in. His glasses were slightly wonky as they always were, so he pushed them up his nose. She raised an eyebrow. "Well, now she's absolutely convinced Severus is a complete git and, she's...a little more..._enamoured_ with you." Rowan smiled. "However, she hated you for six years," she added in one quick breath.

James stared at her like a goldfish. "What's that gotta do with her gift?"

Remus shook his head. "You've got to impress her, James. Prove her wrong."

Sirius, James and Peter looked confused. "What?" Sirius said. "I mean, I understand girls, in depth," he added with a wink making Rowan roll her eyes. "But that's just....screwy." Remus smiled. "Think about it. She truly has hated James these past years. So, to win her over completely, isn't he going to have to prove that he's changed, and that's he's not the cocky prankster she thought he was?"

"But I am." James looked back at Lily.

"Yeah, but we have make you seem more lovable," Rowan mused. "The lovable cocky prankster. Now _he'd_ have more favour with the lady."

"Did you actually get her anything?" Remus asked, closing his book and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I sent an owl, with some flowers," James shrugged.

"What about last year?"

"The same..."

Rowan groaned. "Do you think Lily is a flowers and chocolates kind of girl?" Remus sighed, shaking his head. "You need to do something special!"

Peter laughed. "Write a love song!"

"Yeah but what's the use in that when him singing it to her will cause auditory discomfort?" Sirius smirked. James didn't try to deny it. "Candlelit dinner?"

"I'm sure the house elves would be happy to oblige but really, stop thinking romantic clichés and think about what Lily would want," Rowan said sarcastically.

"I don't...I don't know..."

"Well, think about it. If you're going to do it _today_, you only have..." Rowan pulled Remus' arm and looked at his watch, "fifteen hours and twenty eight minutes." She released Remus' wrist with a thankful smile.

James sat thoughtfully for the remainder of breakfast, his food being untouched a sure sign he was thinking hard. It was when they were walking through dim corridors that lead down to the dungeons, where they had Potions, that he stopped with his mouth open and laughed.

"I...have got an awesome plan." He smiled. "But, I need your help."

*********

Lily was reading and transferring her discoveries to a fresh piece of parchment when Rowan ran in with Sirius. She looked up in alarm because their faces were grave and panic stricken. Sirius was sweating, his forehead gleaming. "What is it?" she asked quietly.

"We need your help," Sirius panted, putting his hands on his hips and bending over to catch his breath. His dark hair fell forward.

Lily shook her head. "Nah-ah," she laughed. "Nope, the rule is I don't get involved."

"It's not like that," Rowan pleaded. "It's James and Remus...they're...fighting!"

Lily looked at her with a sceptical face, and with good reason because she was lying. It wasn't a particularly good lying, seeing as Remus was so passive and James didn't like to fight anyone but Slytherins. "What?" she said, with a bored tone.

"I know!" Sirius said, picking up where Rowan left off. "But we can't stop them. They're in the astrology tower and we left them with Peter." Lily rose but crossed her arms and shook her head back haughtily. "Why are they fighting?"

The twins stopped and looked at each other. "Remus...said something about...you?" Sirius tried. He was going to say they were fighting over Lily but she would know instantly how implausible that could be.

Lily huffed and went to the portrait door. "Well, let's see if we can't sort this out."

****

"She's coming!" Remus hissed to James who was in the room of the Astrology Tower. James shifted nervously and fiddled with the cufflinks on his shirt. "Are you sure I don't look like a goon?" he asked Remus, although he couldn't see him.

"You look fine," Remus said dismissively. He was leaning over the edge of the staircase where he could see the top of Lily's red head and Rowan and Sirius following her mutely. Rowan glanced up and threw him a look as if to say, _go!_ Peter was beside him. "Oh no, why does Lily look like she's about to flip her biscuit?"

Remus looked at him. "I don't know, but we need to disappear."

Lily reached the top of the staircase and put her hands on her hips. "I don't hear them she," she said anxiously.

"Maybe they're dead," Sirius said flippantly, scratching his head. Lily looked at him scathingly. "Try the room," Rowan suggested, hitting her brother discreetly. Lily wrapped her fingers around the door handle and pushed it open. Looking back at them, she said crossly, "Look, when I started dating James, I did not sign up for this babysitting practice. That was your job Rowan. And here I am, having to separate two..."

She stopped short and Rowan could see why. Thousands of flickering candles illuminated the decorated Astrology room, where James stood nervously holding some flowers in a shirt and tie. Across the floor lay a picnic blanket and a hamper (courtesy of their friends in the school kitchens). The room smelt of freesias and chocolate cake. Rowan smiled and took the door from her stunned friend. Gently nudging her in, she murmured, "Enjoy," before closing the door behind Lily and James. Seconds later she heard a squeal and laughter.

"A job well done," Sirius said, putting his arm round Peter's shoulders and leading him down the stairs. "You did a great job helping James set up."

"He was a nervous wreck," Remus chuckled. "You'd think they hadn't already been going out."

"Well," Rowan said indignantly, "it's almost an anniversary. It's been well over a year. There's no shame in him wanting to try."

"If I didn't know better," Remus said in a teasing voice, "I'd say you were a hopeless romantic at heart." She glowered at him. "Of course, I know better," he smiled. He paused. "What did you tell her, to get her to come?"

Sirius shook his head. "Genius here said you and James were fighting." Remus laughed. "What?"

"It was the first thing that came into my head."

****

Rowan was brushing her teeth and examining her face in the mirror when Lily let herself in. She was as pale as ever and couldn't shake the label of being 'Sirius Black's twin". In all her face, Rowan couldn't find a distinguishing feature. Her hair was the same colour and tied back into a messy ponytail, as were her eyes. They had the same angular jaw line. And still, he was the better looking one. A strand of hair fell over her eyes just as Lily appeared in the doorway smiling dreamily. "Hey," she sighed.

"Hey," Rowan said with a mouthful of toothpaste and brush. "Goo' nigh'?"

"Wonderful," Lily sighed again, making Rowan roll her eyes when she wasn't looking. "James had a picnic and we talked and he made me feel so special. I almost forgot that he was the King of all Pranksters," Lily laughed with a disdainful frown. Rowan's face fell. "Almo'?" she mumbled.

"Well, he did some Muggle magic tricks. You know like the fake magicians we have?" Rowan knew them vaguely. "It was hysterical." Rowan relaxed and smiled a frothy grin, before spitting.

"That's great Lils," she sighed. Lily walked in lay her head on her shoulder, looking at them both in the mirror. "Any admirers today?" Rowan pulled a face. "Don't do Valentine's," she said with a shrug. It was disheartening having lovesick Lily next to her in the mirror; love seemed to give her friend a glow that made her look radiant.

"Huh," Lily said, nonchalantly. "I was sure you'd get something from Remus..."

Rowan froze and stared at her. "Why? Did he say he'd sent me something?" Then she saw Lily's expression. "Ok whatever, you can leave now." She began pushing Lily out of the shared bathroom, ignoring her protests. "It's ok to admit you like him," Lily said in between giggles, "without him admitting it first. Although it's _painfully_ obvious to the rest of us. You – two – think – we – don't know?"

Rowan slammed the door and went back to the sink. "So he _didn't _get you anything?" Lily said through the door.


	14. What's Left Unsaid

**Chapter 14 – What's Left Unsaid **

Rowan sighed audibly as she left the room in which they had all just had their Defence Against the Dark Arts exam. It had been fair, but she couldn't help but feel she'd done something wrong. Peter had. He had to leave before it was over, apologising profusely to the examiner he had accidently hexed. Something like pity stirred in her heart for him. She had come a long way since the days of despising him; he still irritated her, but she had learnt that he wasn't a high achiever, all he had was the Marauders, and on several occasions he had risked his life for them, and that included her.

Sirius and James looked confident; James especially as he planted a kiss on Lily's lips. She looked tired but happy. "I'm glad that's over," she smiled at Rowan.

"Me too," said a voice from Rowan's left; it was Remus catching up – he was never far behind her – and shaking his head. "Our final exam."

"And the end of term nearly," Sirius yawned. Although it was a month away, it was something none of them wanted to think about; the idea that these times, and these bonds would be over soon, wrenched apart. They knew they would all stay friends but there was nasty sinister feeling of doubt that haunted them all, especially Rowan.

"Shall we head back? I fancy a game of Exploding Snap or something," James said smiling around at his friends. They all nodded. "Oh wait," Rowan said. "Wormtail..."

"Oh, we should wait for him," Lily added, although she had distaste for Peter also. "_He frightens me sometimes, _she had told Rowan, _but I can see how much he adores the others and I forget why I was frightened". _Rowan shook her head. "I'll go; I have stuff to do anyway. But I'll play the winner," she added with a grin, already retreating.

"That'll be me then," James called out. Sirius scoffed. Remus just watched her walk away before they all turned to go towards the common room.

"Oh Moony," James sighed, "When are you going to tell her?"

Remus looked up from his feet. "Hmmm? Sorry?"

"Exactly," added Sirius.

"We all know you're in love with her," Lily said warmly, tucking her red hair behind her ears. "I'm surprised she doesn't."

Remus closed his eyes, but couldn't help but give a small smile. "Guys," he said warningly.

"What's the problem, Reem," James started, "She's smart, fun to be around, understands you better than herself sometimes, not to mention one hell of a looker...sorry Sirius, to talk about your sister like that, sorry Lily..." he winked at the latter. She raised an eyebrow but shrugged. "I just don't know what you're waiting for. Paddy would mention if he had a problem with it."

"Which I don't," Sirius assured. "I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather let my sister date. There's certainly no one else in the school I can think of. Although Lucius might like to get his grubby…" James put a hand on Sirius' arm to calm him.

"That shows how well you know you sister; she wouldn't care if you had a problem or not," Remus said with a smile. The group nodded and murmured in agreement. They had reached the door and one of the boys muttered the password (_Incandescent). _The portrait obligingly swung open.

"It's not that easy," Remus said falling back onto the couch.

"Why?" the others chorused in disbelief.

"If this is about your condition..." Sirius began.

"No," his friend interrupted. "Well, partly. It is a danger. Even with her being...an animagus," he whispered, "it poses problems in the long run."

"Only if you have children; we're only talking about dating her right?" James said.

Remus raised an eyebrow. Lily restrained herself from squealing. "Merlin, you want to marry her! You _actually _want to have children with her!"

He said nothing, only looked at his fingers. When he looked up, he looked into each of his friends eyes. "I really love her," he said hoarsely.

No one knew what to say for a while, until Lily coughed, breaking the silence. "How long?"

Remus let out a deep breath. "I'd say three, maybe three and a half years. At first I only liked her. The feeling just never went away. It only...gets...stronger," He groaned, and rested his head on the back of the couch. Sirius let out a low whistle. "Blimey, mate, we thought you liked her, we never thought..." he trailed off.

"What are the issues?" James asked after a while.

"We're leaving, heading in different directions. I want to teach, she wants to be an auror. Hardly two professions that meet often. Besides, her training will take three to four years."

"That's an estimation; you know she'll ace it in two. Maximum," Sirius scoffed.

"I don't even know if she likes me," he began, but Lily stopped him. "She does. I can tell."

"Did she tell you?" James asked. Lily looked insulted. "Haven't you heard of the power of female intuition Potter? She cares deeply for him."

"I am still here," Remus reminded her. She looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, but she does. It's clear to me, maybe because I'm a girl, maybe because I'm her friend, but I know she likes you. For all her openness and bluntness," she grinned, "she's just not the kind of girl who makes the first move. The way she talks about you...I don't know about love...because that's such a difficult emotion. Rowan is very complex."

"She's a Black; we come from a very long line of messed up people," Sirius joked grimly. He was smiling but there was a lot of truth in what he said. Sirius and Rowan were the first Gryffindors in the Black family tree and having a Muggleborn like Lily as their friend was the final straw for their mother, who had sent them howlers most months to curse them.

"Oh yeah, her being a Black, that's another issue. They're complete ruffians," Remus joked. Sirius play punched him. "Anything else," James asked.

"She's entirely out of my league."

"Whatever." It was Lily who scoffed this time. "You're an amazing guy Remus. Besides these two, you're one of the best young men I know. No one deserves to be happy as much as you. Or Rowan."

Remus smiled weakly and touched her hand. "Thank you Lily." She gave his hand a squeeze before wrapping her arms around James.

"She's right," her boyfriend added. "You're the best of us. The one who reined us in, and kept us calm when Lucius really...got our backs up...you helped me when it came to Lils," He smiled. "I'm proud to say you're my brother, Moony."

"Me too, mate," Sirius murmured. They all sat in silence. The common room had long since emptied and no one had heard the Marauder's declaration to each other. Remus smiled and shook their hands.

"And Rowan, she only seems out of your league because she's so standoffish. We're from a rich family so it's only natural that she'd be a bit snobby," Sirius laughed, easing the sense of sadness. Lily slapped his thigh playfully.

"Who's a snob?" a voice from the portrait asked. It was Rowan climbing through and taking off her satchel. Remus sat upright, stiffened and anxious. Peter followed her; his blond hair was scruffy. He looked as if he had been crying.

"What happened, Pete?" Lily asked distracting Rowan. The young man shrugged. "They have to go with what I did; they're not going to dock any marks." He sniffed but gave them a grin. "Never mind eh?"

Sirius rose and patted his back. "You'll do fine."

James looked at Remus who was now reading a newspaper that had been on the couch. "Put that down; let's play Snap."

Rowan frowned. "You mean you haven't got a winner yet?"

"You could just...play me now and I'll beat you?" James teased. The Marauders laughed as she clipped him around the ear.

***

Remus was standing on the bridge when he saw her walking towards him out the corner of his eye. "There you are," she said in her low voice, "We've been looking for you. Lily is leaving early remember?" Lily was leaving a couple of hours earlier than the others to have a holiday with her parents, much to James' dismay. He had spent several years trying to win her over, and she was leaving him again, albeit only for a month. Remus nodded. "Sorry, I'll head up."

Rowan frowned and walked over to where he stood. "Are you ok?" she said softly.

"Yeah, I'm..." he stopped because she was giving him a look. "Don't lie," she said. "I know when you're lying."

"Not all the time."

"Most of the time. It's why we can't play Cheat anymore."

Remus smiled and chuckled to himself. Rowan laughed too and leant on the railing of the bridge beside him.

"What's wrong Remus?" she asked again, her voice a little more serious. She was persuasive, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her what he was thinking.

"I'm just...feeling down about everyone leaving."

"No," she said screwing her eyes up. "Nope, that's not it."

Remus laughed. "Why don't you believe me?"

"Because when you're not telling me the truth, your eyes glaze over and you get a little wrinkle in your nose," she said pointing to the bridge between his eyes. Remus instinctively raised his hand to feel. "You're teasing," he said. "No, I'm telling the truth; you look right through me. And...," she directed his hand, "the ridge is here."

Remus felt where she said and ignored the jolt he felt as she touched him with her slender fingers. "Oh, right," he managed, smiling weakly.

"If you don't tell me, I'll guess."

"Go ahead."

She looked thoughtful. "Well, it isn't to do with the full moon; it's in a fortnight and even if I didn't have the dates for the next millennia etched into my brain, I'd still know...you're not feeling ill." She didn't ask it as a question. "Worried about exams...no you aced them, you know you did too."

He smirked. "Yeah. Right. With my condition striking me down half way through? I was lucky that it came on a weekend and the only NEWT that might suffer is Care of Magical Creatures."

Rowan screwed up her nose. "Ok, let me think."

They stood quietly for a while as Rowan pondered. Occasionally, she would look at him and then shake her head.

"I can't think. What it is I mean." She didn't say anything more, only looked out; content to stay in silence with him. In his mind he was reaching out to touch her, kissing her gently but his shyness stopped him, and before he could even so much as move a finger, she had begun to walk away. "Come on," she sighed. "We can't stand here all day." He watched her walk off, and began to follow mutely behind her.

"Bugger," he muttered quietly, sighing deeply.

****

"I'm sure I'll see you at James'," Lily said as Sirius, Rowan, Remus and Peter all smothered her in a goodbye hug. Wriggling free she smiled warmly. "It's only a little while." She went to hug them individually; a quick squeeze for Peter and warm hugs for the others. "Don't forget to get on with it," she said in a low voice by Remus' ear. He rolled his eyes. "I'm working on it," he hissed back. She looked sceptical.

James took her hand. "Look, I'm gonna...go...say goodbye to Lily, by myself," he said coyly leading her out of the common room. The red head waved goodbye enthusiastically to her friends before she disappeared behind the swing of the portrait.

Rowan sighed deeply as she watched her friend go. "She's right," Remus said, trying to reassure Rowan, "It's only a little while."

"It's only the beginning," Rowan muttered, so quiet that Remus almost didn't hear it. He opened his mouth to speak but she'd already gone to pack her own things.

"I can't take it anymore!" Sirius said in a low voice but still entirely exasperated as he grabbed Remus by the shoulders and shook him. "Believe me when I say this is not something brothers usually say to young men that fancy their sister but will you get on with it and snog her already!"

"Sirius," Remus said in an embarrassed hiss. "She's only upstairs!"

"Who bloody cares?" Sirius said laughing and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Remus looked at him wearily. "I'm trying to find the right moment," he said indignantly. "Stop interfering. I know you think you're some kind of love god but you're really just very irritating."

Sirius smirked at his friend but let go of him none the less. "Come on, Pete," he said, beckoning the blonde boy to follow him to the dorm. "Let's leave Remus to think over his strategies for another three years." Remus threw him a steely look and watched them go with his arms crossed. Throwing himself down on the sofa, he wondered how exactly he was going to tell her when he had waited so long and had hidden the way he felt for all this time. Would she be surprised? Or, like Lily had suggested, did she already know? Remus sighed deeply again.

James burst through the portrait, looking flushed but smiling. "Moony," he grinned, sitting down beside him. "Did you talk to her yet?"

Remus groaned. "Will you shut up?" he said throwing his hands up. "I'm bloody working on it!"

****

A timid knock at the door startled Rowan as she folded some robes and laid them flat in her trunk. "Remus," she laughed. "You know you can't come in; this is the girl's dorm." There had always been a bewitchment on the dormitories of the Houses; neither sex could enter each others private chambers. He stood in the doorway, unable to step in like some kind of vampire from a gothic novel. "I know," he said quietly. "When you're done, do you wanna go for a walk?"

She nodded. "Two minutes."

Rowan took a moment to observe him as she walked down the stairs. One of the tallest boys in their year, Remus was lean with hidden muscle and strength that accompanied his lycanthropy. His sandy hair hung over his eyes still and his shirt sleeves were rolled to the elbow revealing pale forearms. He was wearing a dark pullover and looked unwell. She frowned. What on earth was the matter with him?

"We're going for a walk," she said to Sirius, slipping on some shoes. "Are you actually going to pack?" Her brother pulled a face. "Sorry, mother," he said with a smirk. He winked at Remus. "Have a pleasant stroll, _won't you?_" Rowan looked at him strangely before exiting the common room through the portrait. Remus glared at Sirius. "You're a class A prat sometimes, Sirius Black."

"I try," Sirius sighed. "Go get her, Tiger."

****

It was painful how quiet they were being. Well, at least Remus thought so. But that was most likely because when they were quiet the greatest noise was the thudding of his own nervous heartbeat in his ears and chest and it made him feel dizzy. "Remus," he heard her say after a while. They had reached the library; deserted and dark. "Remus," Rowan said again, lightly touching his arm. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he lied smoothly, smiling. He carried on walking, looking at the books that lay on the shelves untouched and would remain so for another six weeks. She followed him.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about?" she asked innocently.

He stopped and turned, hands in pockets and looked at her intently. "Yes. I..." he paused and tried again. "It's just...er...I would...urm, I think...wouldn't it..."

"You're not making any sense."

"I've always loved..." Remus began clearly but when he saw her expectant expression he stopped again. "...this room. The architecture is just...unparalleled." Rowan frowned. "You're kidding right? Well, yes, I suppose it's very...architecturally stunning."

Remus turned again and carried on pacing slowly, tracing the bookcases with his fingertips and cursing under his breath as he went. _Lucius Malfoy would have her halfway down the aisle by now, _a persistent and sneering voice in his head said. _Are you going to be beaten by the shiny haired..._

"The thing is," he said loudly, stopping abruptly so she banged into him. Rowan looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Yes," she said.

"The thing is..." he repeated softly.

"Yes," she said in an equal tone.

"I..."

"You?"

He was leaning forward slightly, lifting his hand to touch her. When his fingers made contact with her skin, she took a sharp breath and began to wonder, to hope. He pulled her a little bit closer with his hand; stroking her blushing cheek with his thumb.

"Oh Rowan," he choked, but she kept silent. He dipped his head to hers and touched his lips gently to her own.

"Final years!" came a shrill voice. They stopped immediately, but Remus did not open his eyes or take his hand from Rowan's face for a few seconds more. "Yes Miss Pince," he said through gritted teeth. Rowan looked faint; truth be told, her knees felt like jelly.

"This is not the place for _that_!" she said snootily. "I expected better from you two."

"I should go pack," Rowan said with her eyes down. She left with Remus staring after her.

"Did you hear me Mr. Lupin? Unacceptable."

Remus ignored her and kicked a bookcase.

****

His three friends were hiding.

"What's going on?" Sirius said.

"Why don't you look?" James asked with a frown. They were underneath the Invisibility Cloak and shuffling in the corridor. Sirius hand his hands over his eyes.

"Even if I want them together, she's still my sister." He shuddered.

Peter snickered.

"Oh! He did it! He's kissed her!" James whispered, laughing quietly. Sirius nudged him and Peter with glee.

The tap of shoes past them didn't register until a few seconds later. "No, no, no!" the boys hissed at Pince's legs, although they couldn't very well grab the woman. Their friends broke apart, and the boys groaned.

"Merlin," Peter said in a low breath. "After all that. It'll take him another year to get a run up."

****

The train ride home was difficult to say the least. Knowing what had happened, the boys had the sensitivity not to joke with Remus about it – from the moment he had walked in with a face that could rival rainclouds, they had kept silent. Now he sat opposite Rowan in the compartment, their legs positioned so that they could not touch and their faces pointed out to stare at the countryside that went past. Rowan was completely blank for a change, rather than thunderous. They did not laugh. They did not speak.

When the scarlet engine finally ground to a halt in the station and the students all bundled off to return home, the Marauders were sombre as they paced the platform. Rowan muttered something about using the bathroom and walked off for a while, into the billows of steam coming from the Hogwarts express. The boys turned to Remus.

"Don't," he said hoarsely. "It's not going to happen."

"But if you find the right place, the right time," James suggested gently as a group of squealing first years ran by to greet their mothers. Remus shook his head.

"There'll never be a right time," he said sadly, before embracing them all and leaving the platform to head home.


	15. New Order

Chapter 15 – New Order

Five Years Later, London

A young man stood by the fireplace and watched the flames flicker with deep intent. It was late and he was tired; with only a week to go until the next full moon, Remus Lupin was feeling the weariness he was so well accustomed to rack his body once more. Only in his early twenties, he looked closer to thirty; something that he could not help but to notice when stood next to his friends, James and Sirius. Fiddling with the cuff of his sweater, he wondered why Dumbledore had called them all here, at so late an hour, and to here of all places. Sirius looked grave, and with good reason; he had not returned to his childhood home since he left it at sixteen and although it had been bequeathed to him upon his mother's death, the house had demons that Sirius did not have the strength to exorcise.

"Where is Pettigrew?" asked a man in an armchair, who was reading a book. His wife sat next to him and looked at him fondly while playing with a long braid. "No idea, Frank," smiled Alice. She looked at the other men. "Have you seen him?"

"Very little of him," Sirius sighed, pacing. "He's been busy lately, but I should think he'll come tonight."

A loud bang filled the room as James dropped something he had been playing with. Cussing, he put it back and ruffled his hair as some way of apology. Sirius merely smiled at him. Moments later, a thin red head with a growing bump walked into the room, huffing as she did so. "Sorry," Lily murmured, brushing her hair back from her face as she laced her arm around James midriff. "I couldn't find the bathroom, and it's kind of important since this baby's insisting on me urinating every five blummin' minutes."

Everyone stared at her. "Sorry," she said again. Alice smiled warmly. "_I _know how you feel," she said, coaxing her abdomen. "Baby Longbottom seems to have taken permanent residence upon my bladder." Frank chuckled, causing his moustache to bristle, and he picked up his wife's hand to kiss it.

Remus did have to turn around to feel nauseated by the displays of affection from the couples in the room. Both women were in the early stages of pregnancy and due around the same time, and there was nothing more attractive to a man apparently than a woman who was going to bear his child.

"Why are we always early," Sirius murmured, walking over to joining him by the fire," and Dumbledore, who called us here, is always late?"

Remus smiled. "Because he's the leader of this operation."

"Hmmm," Sirius said, leaning his back against the mantelpiece. "I guess so. It's just I'm exhausted from all this sneaking around, and I can't imagine how _you_ must feel."

Remus pulled a face. "I've felt better." Sirius laughed grimly under his breath. "You look dreadful, and _very_ tired," Sirius said examining his friend's face. "How long has it been since we caught up?"

A crash came from the kitchen, followed by a loud curse and then Hagrid crying out a booming, "Sorry 'bout that!"

Remus shook his head. "In answer to your question, too long. It's been too long since I've seen any of you. This war has a knack of pulling people apart rather than drawing it together." He was thinking quietly about Rowan, who he hadn't seen properly since she began her aurors training; Alice and Frank kept them all as updated as they could, and although she worked alongside Sirius and James, she had been largely preoccupied with the trouble Voldemort and his followers had stirred up.

Sirius glanced at Lily and James. "Look at them," he cooed. "Who'd have thought when he finally did get the girl, they'd end up married and Lily'd have a bun in the oven."

"Oh, I hate that expression. What does that even mean?" Lily cried; having heard him, for Sirius wasn't famed for being quiet. He strolled over with his hands in his pockets, and removed them to clasp her face. "It simply means you're cooking something, and don't get so wound up." He smiled. "You have to think of Baby Potter. He or she doesn't need unnecessary stress."

Remus heard the sound of rushing wind from the courtyard out back and raised a hand to silence them all. There was definitely the sound of people moving around outside, talking and shuffling, and then the sound they needed to hear; the three taps of a stick echoing through Grimmauld Place. "Dumbledore's here then," Alice said rising. "With the others hopefully."

Sure enough, the back door to the house opened and with a fair bit of noise, several people tried to pass in to the corridor from the cold outdoors. It was nearing the winter months and it had turned chilly quickly this year, so Remus was not surprised to see the men and women in the corridor wearing heavy cloaks and scarves. Dumbledore strode through into the lounge, folding his cloak over his arm and smiling warmly at everyone.

"Nice of you to show up, old man," Sirius said, greeting him with a hand shake and an embrace. The old wizard smiled and touched his face. "My apologies, Sirius, but we encountered some difficulties on the way tonight."

"Yeah, and by trouble he means a gnarly bunch of Death Eaters," said a gruff voice. Mad Eye Moody hobbled into the room and sat himself down, shaking water from his raincoat as he went. His eye roamed the room, searching each of them. It made Remus feel deeply uncomfortable. "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named got wind-a somethin' and sent LeStrange and some of his other goons to track us down."

Dumbledore looked at Sirius and frowned a little. "You don't mind us entreating on your hospitality this late do you?"

Sirius waved a hand and put them back in the pocket of his pinstripe trousers. "Please. This is no more my house than yours and you may call at..." he glanced at his watch, "one in the morning if you want."

The old man patted him on the shoulder and said something about needing a tea. The rest of the company tried to squeeze into the room, finding places to sit or stand. Remus was introduced to a stocky man with a side parting called Edgar Bones. Dumbledore enquired into his health just as Sirius had and, too tired to answer properly, Remus just shrugged.

Peter Pettigrew sidled in and found a chair in the corner, not removing his cloak. "Pete," James smiled. "Long time no see, buddy." He merely looked at James with a weak smile and shrugged. "I've been busy, but it's good to see you." Remus watched his expressions. He seemed worried and agitated but Peter had always been a nervous boy at Hogwarts and the war could make even the strongest men frightened.

Rubeus Hagrid poked his head around the door to the sitting room and looked nervously towards the older wizard. "Er...Dumbledore, sir, I thin' someone's in th' garden." The company grew quiet; more than one of them rose and drew their wands, Remus included. Dumbledore did not move. "It's ok," he reassured them and, turning to the shaggy half-giant, smiled, "there's just another addition to our party." Sure enough, three knocks sounded from the courtyard and everyone felt a little relief enough to relax and put away their wands. "Yes," Dumbledore continued sipping his tea. "That should be Rowan."

"Rowan?" Remus and Sirius chorused loudly. James' eyes darted from the old man to his friends.

"Yes. Tall, thin young woman. Looks a lot like Sirius. If I remember correctly, she has a bit of a fiery temper," Dumbledore said stirring the warm liquid in his china cup with a vague twinkle in his eye.

The back door slammed, causing a draft to sweep into the lounge. Sirius strode out to greet her in the hallway; his loud laugh could be heard as he embraced her and then moments later showed her the doorway, gently ushering her through. Remus' heart beat got caught in his throat as a woman, because that's what she had become now, clad in a dark cloak walked into the sitting room and frowned. "Sorry, I know I'm late," she sighed, removing her cloak and hanging it on a peg. Her hair was pulled back into a messy pile on the back of her head and she seemed not to have noticed anyone except Dumbledore. Pulling off her gloves and looking down as she did so, she continued.

"I'm supposed to tell you Dorcas and Mundungus won't be here this evening. She sent word this morning, and Fletcher's spending the night in the Ministry's holding cells _again._" She rolled her eyes. "You'd think the man would learn to stop selling bewitched artefacts but no..."

"Thank you, Rowan," Dumbledore smiled. "Everyone this is Rowan Black, Sirius' sister."

She nodded quickly as she unwound her scarf and smiled weakly at them all. Remus watched her carefully. She was changed greatly; but how so, he wondered? He thought it must be her air. She was graver though not as weary looking as he was. She had barely aged at all in fact, although he could not deny a look of wisdom about her. Her scowl was leaning towards one of worry, and she seemed shy, almost reluctant to acknowledge anyone. He couldn't speak out or say anything, but looking up, she caught his eye and for the first time since entering, he saw the inclination of a smile. "Remus," she said softly, stepping over some shoes that had been discarded to dry so she could reach him. "Remus, how are you?"

She had reached up to meet him in an embrace which he wholeheartedly returned, using that time to find his tongue. "Fairly well, considering," he said close to her ear and as he pulled back, "and you? You look very well."

She coloured slightly. "I'm a little tired," she smiled. Now, but the fire's light he could see faint dark circles beneath her eyes. Suddenly, realising they were still holding hands where there hug had ended, he let go of her cold, slender fingers and immediately regretted it. Sirius came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder, beaming wildly. "Look at her. Rowan Black, auror," he laughed. Rowan rolled her eyes. "You and James are aurors too. And Mad Eye. And Alice and Frank."

"Did I hear you mention me?" James interrupted, grinning. "Come here," he said, bending down for a hug. Lily kissed her cheek, and Remus noticed how awkward she looked within this setting. "Lily, you look great," she managed, surveying the woman

"Oh yeah, people keep telling me that's something to do with the pregnancy – the "bloom" or something," Lily laughed, but she stopped short when she saw Rowan's expression.

"Merlin," Rowan whispered. "You're having a baby?"

"Didn't anyone tell you?" Sirius said, looking at James with an accusing eye.

"Didn't you get our owl?" Lily asked. Rowan shook her head. "I've been...away. I...er...I haven't got any owls...sorry, I'm just surprised. Of course, that's great! Sorry," she hugged Lily gently but still her eyes didn't match her smile.

"Any ideas on names yet...." Sirius asked

"Well, I'm thinking Lucy if it's a girl..."

"And I'm thinking Eleanor," James interrupted. "After Mum."

"And if it's a boy, we were thinking..." Lily said, looking thoughtful.

"Harry. Nothing else." James grinned.

"I don't know," Lily bemused. "I quite like Severus..."

James play punched her, and they fell into a fit of laugher, that made Rowan twinge. They were just as happy now as they were when they were seventeen, finishing each other's sentences and it made her ache.

"You told me when we were thirteen, your first child's name would be Fartwhistle Potter," said Remus, looking at them fondly.

"Well, as hard as it may be to believe, I have exceeded myself of late in maturity," James said with a curt tone, but the grin told them otherwise.

Dumbledore rose and raised a hand to quieten the hubbub of noise as people reacquainted themselves with each other. It took effect immediately and all the eyes turned to the old man. "Good evening," he began. "I thank you for coming, and I am sorry that we must meet like this but we have found ourselves in the gravest of circumstances; Voldemort is gaining power, and followers and if we do not act soon, he will have control of the wizarding and Muggle world. I do not have to tell you how truly terrible that would be."

Rowan saw James squeeze Lily's hand.

"This house is not mine, it is Sirius' and Rowan' childhood home, but, I have asked if they would lend it to us all as a form of headquarters. A base to touch upon when we have no where else to go or when we need to discuss options."

"Headquarters for what?" Frank Longbottom asked.

"It is no accident that I have asked a great number of aurors here tonight. If you are willing, I wish to begin an order; a society of witches and wizards who are dedicated to diminishing Voldemort's reign and preventing harm caused by him and his followers."

"Protectors?" James interjected.

"Quite so James," Dumbledore mused. "Voldemort is only as strong as his following; if we can stand up for those who cower in fear, and be like a light against him within these terrible, dark times, I believe we can stop him."

"Well. I'll sign up," Sirius said, looking around with his arms crossed. "I can't think of a more noble cause."

"Nor I," Moody laughed.

"With both mine and James' wives pregnant, I can't help but think of the next generation and how they shall be affected if we don't take action now," Frank said wistfully, glancing at Alice and Lily. James nodded.

"I think you're all mad," Edgar Bones said shaking his head. "But I agree. It's impossible to do nothing. I have a daughter too," he said sadly. A few more murmurs from the others made Dumbledore smile. "Thank you," he nodded. "I don't take this commitment lightly. There will be risks; you are already taking a risk by pledging yourself wholeheartedly against Voldemort. I cannot guarantee your safety either, so think upon this. I will not blame anyone from turning away."

"I can't join you," sighed a timid witch who was sat near Peter. Remus remembered her from school but couldn't place her name. "I don't believe what You-Know-Who does is right but I have to think of my family."

"That's fine Jemima," Dumbledore assured her, and Remus suddenly remembered her as Jemima Forrester, a Hufflepuff. "But I ask you do not disclose any of this."

"Feel free to place a memory charm on me," she said bravely. "But that's as much as you can ask of me."

The room grew silent until Dumbledore rose and suggested they have some tea before discussing what each of them had discovered so far. Peter said he needed to go to the bathroom, so Lily offered to take him. "I'll go make some tea," Rowan muttered, mostly to herself and Sirius.

She was flicking her wand around, causing jugs to fill with milk when Remus walked in. Hesitating by the door way, she seemed to sense his presence and smiled weakly. "Do you need a hand?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I'm nearly done," Rowan said blankly. "But you can carry the trays if you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all," he said swallowing. He watched her for a moment but moved forward, frowning as he traced a fresh, silvery line upon her face with his little finger. She flinched slightly, making him step back. "How did you do _that_?" he asked, not hiding the concern in his tone.

"Oh, it was nothing really," she said tiredly. "Severus Snape and I got into a bit of a sparring match." She looked angry for a moment.

"Can't you heal it? Or do you want me to..." he said pulling out his wand.

"No," she said sadly. "Snape's renowned for his creativity when it comes to curses; it's an original design so besides being hugely illegal and a giant pain in the Department of Registered Magic's arse, there's no counterpart to heal it yet. Though I've tried."

"It looks..."

"It hurts like hell. It's scarred quickly but it does really...smart." She cursed quietly under her breath. "He's gotten quite good at duelling after all those times James and Sirius picked on him and he couldn't defend himself." Remus looked sheepish.

"Here you go; take them through to the dining area," she said matter-of-factly, handing him a tray. "Besides, I think it adds character, don't you?" She was chatty but with none of the enthusiasm her tone should have; her words were rushed and awkward.

Remus nodded quietly and followed her out of the kitchen door, and to the dining room. It was much larger than the sitting room they had all tried to cram into, but equally as dim. Everyone was seated around a long mahogany table.

"Ah, there they are," Dumbledore said, beaming at Remus. "Just place it down and take a seat." No sooner had they sat down, tea cups begun to fly from the dresser at one end of the room and landed gently in front of each person.

"So," began Dumbledore, adding sugar to his cup. "Has anyone heard any news?"

"Well, the Death Eater activity has increased exponentially," Alice said grimly. "We've all had our hands full at the Ministry. More deaths than anything. He's beginning to remove people who get in his way."

"Last week, a family of Muggles were seriously injured as some Death Eaters tried to take Gertrude Finkle's house by force," Sirius interjected, lounging back in his seat.

"What did Gertrude Finkle have that's of interest to Voldemort?" asked James.

"Well," Moody said gruffly, "don't forget she's just left the Ministry. She could know something of great importance."

"You said tried," Rowan asked, leaning across the table. "Did Gertrude escape unscathed?"

"She's in hiding, yes," her brother replied.

"And Rowan, what of your trip?" the old headmaster enquired. "How is Miss Silvestri?"

She looked grave for a moment and sighed. "I've spoken to Nikki at great lengths recently but it seems that the Eastern Court has not been greatly affected by the war as of yet. She seems confident that as soon as they are forced to become more involved, the East will have no choice _but _to choose sides, but they are remaining stubbornly neutral at the moment. However," she said with a twitch at the corner of her mouth. "Nikki Silvestri and several others have already made the choice and are awaiting word from you, Dumbledore."

"The East?" Sirius asked with raised eyebrows. "That's a legend isn't it?"

"Apparently not," Remus smiled, thinking back to Hogwarts and the research in the library. Rowan's soft expression told him she was remembering it to.

"No," Rowan said quietly. "It's not a legend. But, I am not at liberty to disclose too many details about the East. I have Nikki's trust."

Sirius smirked. "Is it true what they say about women from the East?" He raised an eyebrow. "Exceptionally beautiful? More so than Veela?"

"Trust you to think of that," James murmured, rolling his eyes.

"They're no more beautiful than normal woman, Sirius. But they are powerful. I suppose that's where the attraction lies, if you're ever lucky enough to meet one. I'll take pains not to introduce you to Nikki," she added with a smile, mirroring her brother's. "And I'll thank _you_ to keep your mind on the task at hand."

Dumbledore cleared his throat but couldn't stop his smile. "That's good news. We shall look forward to a visit from her at some point then." He turned to Edgar. "And what from inside the Ministry?"

The discussion went on for another half an hour while they talked about information and passwords, and Remus found his eyelids begun to feel even heavier before slowly beginning to droop. He shook himself awake and rose just as everyone else did. "What should we call ourselves?" he heard Edgar ask.

"Society For Those With A Death Wish," someone mumbled.

"Association for the Removal of Scary Evil-Doers?"

"Your comedic talents are astounding as ever, Sirius," Rowan sighed, pushing her chair under the table. He grinned. "And your sarcasm, my dear sister." He walked over and put his arm around ehr shoulders. "It's late. Stay here tonight."

"You know I hate to be in this house," she said quietly. He nodded. "Yes, I do too. But having you here makes it easier. Come on," he pleaded. "Kreacher is still around somewhere. You could kick him." She looked thoughtful and sighed. "I _am_ tired." Sirius smiled warmly.

"Remus is staying also, and Dumbledore. Frank and Alice have to go – Lily, James, are you staying?" The couple nodded. "It'll be like old times," he grinned. "If Peter stays; Peter?" He looked around for his friend but Dumbledore, who was looking out onto the street through a grimy window, said, "Mister Pettigrew has already left."

"Oh," Sirius sighed, "well, it'll almost be like old times."

Remus could not miss Rowan's flicker of the eyes towards him in the pale firelight, and instantly knew it would not be an easy stay. "Ok," she smiled. "You win."


	16. Wizard Monopoly

Chapter 16 – Wizard Monopoly

Rowan walked down the stairs the next morning to find Dumbledore already awake looking pensive over a bowl of cornflakes, and her brother and Remus reading newspapers. Lily and James strolled in to the dining room holding plates of semi burnt toast; the smell of it this early made Rowan's stomach churn. Sirius looked over his newspaper at him and gave her a smile. "Good morning," he said warmly. "Did you sleep well?"

"For the most part. Kreacher decided he was going to try and kill me in my sleep again, as if being here wasn't punishment enough," she said bitterly. "So if you see him limping around, or he's missing a limb, that was me, the infected little git." She smiled sweetly. "It's so good to be home."

Sirius laughed heartily. Remus smiled shyly and offered her a seat beside him.

She looked through the door into the kitchen and didn't acknowledge him as she answered. "No, thank you," she said coldly. He frowned and watched her walk away to get something to eat.

"Is she being like this with anyone else?" he said, folding the newspaper as he looked at them all. They shook their heads. "No, I thought not," he said rising angrily.

"I can only describe her conduct as pleasant towards myself," Dumbledore smiled. "Although, I can't speak for anyone else." Lily looked at Remus with a raised eyebrow. "I don't know what you expect, Remus, really. You can't honestly think why she might be upset?" The young man glowered at her and stormed from the dining room to the kitchen.

"Why are you angry at me?" he said crossing his arms and staring at her. When Rowan turned, surprised, he was leaning against the doorframe. She surveyed his angry stance as she made herself a cup of tea. "I'm not," she said simply.

"Look, I've known you for long enough, and well enough, to know when you're angry with someone," he said indignantly.

"And why," Rowan said blankly, stretching to reach the sugar from the top cupboard of the dark kitchen, "would I be angry with you?"

"That I don't know. But I lived in fear of your anger for the best part of seven years, so I know when you're hacked off with someone and when you're not!"

She stared at him because he had raised his voice and was breathing heavily. "There's a war on, Remus," she said in a clipped tone, pulling her hair back into a ponytail so the nape of her neck was showing.

"This isn't about the war; this is about me. Something I've done or said, although Merlin knows what." He sighed and leaned against the wall as if he were waiting for her to give him a response.

She was frowning deeply, and slammed the cutlery drawer as she pulled a spoon from it. "Look, I'm sorry if my mind is a little preoccupied but we're in the middle of something huge and dangerous, and I've got one hundred things to think about and not all of them are about you Remus John Lupin!"

"Aha!" he said triumphantly, throwing his arms in the air. "You only ever call me by my full name when you're mad."

She rolled her eyes and when back to making her tea. "I don't have time for this. We're not eighteen anymore. We've supposed to have grown up. Moved on. Stopped _fighting._"

He raised an eyebrow. "Rowan," he tried, speaking softly and standing beside her. She looked up to see he wore a pained expression. She stirred her tea slowly and paused. "I am angry with you."

"Why?" he said.

"Where do I begin?"

"Why don't you start with whatever's hacking you off the most?" She smiled in spite of it all and sipped her tea. He was gazing at her softly. "Because," she shrugged after a while. When she spoke again, it was very soft. "You have this amazing ability to completely ignore the past, and I can't do that and I'm jealous." He felt his lips part slightly from their pursed position as he tried to speak but she looked at him so pointedly that he fell silent.

"I'm not ignoring the past," he said with his head down. "It's just things don't need dragging up all the time."

Rowan stared at him.

"Look, in all the time I've known you, I've been nothing but nice to you, woman," he joked, trying to shift the mood.

"Remus. Come on. Final year? You kissed me in the library, nothing was said about it, _at all,_ and then, the big coward you are, you leave the train station without – saying – good – bye –" with every word she hit his arm, and he winced, cowering a little. "You're not sorry for completely breaking my heart?" He froze and tried to judge her expression. Her smile was teasing but her eyes, what was in her eyes? He couldn't tell anymore. They were different, changed. She had seen horrors and had been hurt.

She turned her full body to him and sighed. "Look, I'm sick of fighting with you; we're grown ups now..."

"Rowan!" someone called out from the lounge. "There's someone here to see you!" Rowan looked puzzled and then smiled. "Nikki," she murmured, and started to walk through. Looking back she smiled wistfully. "We'll talk another time, when we have the time to sit down, yeah?" He nodded dumbly and followed her through.

A blonde witch who was removing her cloak stood in the foyer of the house surrounded by people, Sirius being at the forefront of those. "I'll take that for you," he smiled smoothly, regarding her face before taking the black cloak and hanging it somewhere. Nikki, who was smiling and brushing her curly tendrils back from her eyes, spotted Rowan and her face broke into a grin. "Hey!" she laughed, embracing her friend warmly and to everyone's surprise, Rowan returned it. "Nikki," Rowan smiled. "Come in to the lounge. You must have been travelling all night."

"Well, I could have apparated here straight away," Nikki sighed, allowing herself to be lead into the sitting room where she threw herself on the sofa, "but there were a few problems in the East that I had to take care of. The High Wizard isn't keen on my being here," she added darkly.

"I can imagine not. What did he say?"

"Same as usual; that this 'isn't our war' and that I shouldn't get involved. The phrase 'on your head be it' entered the conversation somewhere," Nikki said, rolling her eyes. "Not our war? Like bloody hell it isn't."

Rowan nodded. "How're Ralph, and Isla?"

Nikki's face lit up at the mention of her siblings. "Deep in training and doing well."

Rowan shrugged. "Well, I suppose it all comes quite naturally to them." Nikki nodded secretively. Without realising it, they had completely lost everyone as they spoke and, looking up, they spotted a few confused expressions. Sirius had one eyebrow raised and was looking from his sister to Nikki inquisitively.

"Aren't you going to introduce your friend, sis?" he smiled widely. Rowan sighed deeply and glared at him, but he retained his innocent expression and kept his hands behind his back.

"I suppose. This is Nikki Silvestri, the Eastern witch I spoke of last night," she said. "Nikki, this is Professor Albus Dumbledore, who you've already corresponded with."

"It's good to put a name to a face," Nikki said warmly, shaking the older wizard's hand. He clasped her thin fingers within his own and returned her friendly expression. "It's good to have you here with us." He let go of her and Rowan gestured towards James and Lily who were stood by the fire. "This is James Potter, and his wife Lily." A knowing expression spread across the blonde witch's face as she shook their hands. "Ah, the infamous James Potter. I've heard a lot about you. One of the Marauders?" she asked, looking back to Rowan.

"Yes," Rowan said colouring slightly as it became apparent she had talked of them all in great depth. "They're all here, except for Peter. This is Remus Lupin." Nikki shook the man's hand and he nodded shyly at her. Nikki regarded Remus shrewdly, taking in his face and demeanour before throwing Rowan an expression that no one else saw; a raised eyebrow and a meaningful stare.

"And I'm Sirius Black," the dark haired man said, stepping forward to clasp her hand in his. She took it gently. "Rowan's brother."

"Ah, yes," Nikki said in a clipped tone. "I've been told to watch out for you." He pulled a face, one of mock horror and playfulness. "Only because I'm such a dab hand at Wizard Monopoly."

"No, that wasn't the reason," Nikki said in a low voice. He grinned and let go of her hand.

Rowan led her away, and Lily offered to make her a drink leaving Remus, James and Sirius by the fire whilst the girls went to the kitchen. Dumbledore turned to them. "What a delightful woman," he mused, before leaving the room.

They stood contemplatively for a few moments by the crackling flames. "What a woman, full stop," Sirius said letting out a low whistle, and staring after Nikki with his hands in his pockets. Remus laughed quietly and looked at James, who was smiling. "The Infamous James Potter. That's got a nice ring to it, actually," the bespectacled man said wistfully. "It's been a while since I've been called infamous. Lily called my _impossible_ yesterday and _inconsiderate_ when I went into the bathroom before her today." He pulled a gloomy face.

"And _ignoramus,_ when you got her the wrong type of deli sandwich last weekend."

James threw his hands in the air. "How is a guy supposed to keep up with a woman's cravings if they change all the time? It was beef and mayonnaise with cheese on hearty Italian before. How was I supposed to know her body was rejecting dairy products and wanted granary bread?" James said clearly exasperated.

The other two men struggled to hide their laughter and patted their friend on the back. Lily was usually very good tempered, but pregnancy had certainly created a monster out of the red head.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at Remus and grinned wickedly. "Did you sort out my sister?"

"Hardly," Remus snorted. "Like I've ever been able to 'sort out' your sister." They all looked thoughtful for a moment. "And," Remus added quietly, "I have fresh bruises to prove that she hasn't changed since she was eighteen."

"She's hit you _already_?" James said, incredulous.

Sirius scoffed. "She got me only last night."

The girls re-entered the room giggling about something and they all stiffened, straightening their backs and falling silent. Each woman had a drink in hand and when they spotted the three men, they looked at them suspiciously. "What are you up to?" Lily snapped, narrowing her green eyes at her husband.

"Nothing," James said all too quickly. "We were talking. Just talking."

"About what?" Rowan asked, putting down her tea and crossing her arms.

They looked at each other. "Wizard Monopoly," Sirius lied suddenly, with a grin. "We fancy a game."

Lily pulled a face. "I hate Wizard Monopoly."

"To be fair, Lils," James laughed, walking over to her to hug her. "You kind of hate everything at the moment." She looked outraged and James froze.

"I do _not_," she said huffily. "And you wouldn't be one hundred and ten per cent if you had something inside you that demanded that I go to the toilet every hour during the night and kicked you until you were black and blue. And," she continued, in full swing of her rant, "It's not like you even have to do any of the hard work involved in this pregnancy. You just have to sit there and look pretty while I have to give birth to something that proportionally is about twice the size of my head and weighs three times as much as your ego. That's like trying to pass a rhino through the ring of a donut. So excuse me if I'm a little sensitive at the moment!" she cried, breathing heavily.

Everyone sat in stunned silence while Lily calmed down. "I'm sorry," she said tearfully after a while. "I suppose it's the hormones." James nodded mutely. "Look, I'll feel much better if I have one of those deli sandwiches. Beef and mayonnaise and cheese, but on granary," she pleaded to her husband.

"It's the least you can do," Sirius said dramatically, getting a look from his friend.

James left seconds later and Sirius clapped his hands together. "Right! Wizard Monopoly then. I'm always the little dog," he winked at his sister who rolled her eyes. "You know the rules, right?" He turned his attentions to Nikki who was watching his showmanship with an amused expression.

They had been playing for about twenty minutes when James returned, by which time Lily was docile again and waiting patiently for her sandwich. He handed it to her with a kiss. "Chance card," Nikki said, handing Rowan's brother one. Seconds later, Sirius groaned. "Go to Azkaban; do not pass Hogwarts, do not collect two hundred galleons," he said weakly.

"This was your idea," Nikki laughed. She leaned a little closer to him cocking her head slightly. "You can buy your way out though..." she said in a sing-song voice.

"You're not bloody having The Leaky Cauldron," he said gruffly, pushing his silver dog along the board aggressively.


	17. Long Overdue

Chapter 17 – Long Overdue

Months passed in the quiet of Grimmauld Place, with no more than a few occupying it's dark halls at a time as they all did assignments or rescue trips dictated to them by Dumbledore, their unspoken leader. Peter was well known for preferring the clandestine missions; hiding in small places and listening for information. However, some of the Order, well, most of them, much preferred the hands on approach. Rowan had already re-encountered Severus Snape and although he had lived to tell the tale of how she had beaten him into the ground and made him regret scarring her, he probably wouldn't tell a soul.

At the end of August, when the summertime was at its hottest and the twins began to feel most smothered by their childhood house, Lily gave birth to a boy. "He doesn't look a jot like me. I mean, look at his blue eyes," Lily cooed with a melancholic smile. It was true that the boy was a miniature of his father; thick, jet black hair from the moment he appeared and the same soft snoring.

"Yeah," Sirius said, holding the little ones hand and grinning at him. "But baby's eyes are blue for a few months after birth and then the pigment changes." Everyone looked at him strangely. "I've been er...reading those Muggle parenting books," he admitted sheepishly, trying to hide his face behind his thick curls. Nikki laughed and put a hand on his back.

Nikki Silvestri had become somewhat of a permanent fixture at the house, much to Rowan's delight. It was certainly a bonus to have someone who sided with her most of the time and didn't want to become as ineffective as they were beginning to feel. Voldemort's activity had decreased and become fairly covert, but there were still instances of horror, still moments of injustice that neither of the witches could stand for. The only comfort for Nikki in the confinement of Grimmauld Place, besides Rowan, was Sirius, who was entirely enamoured with the Eastern Witch. No one was greatlo one was greatly surprised by their union. She maintained that no man could resist a woman who beat him hands down at Wizard Monopoly every time they played. He maintained that no woman could resist him, full stop.

A few days after the Potters had given birth, an Owl swooped into the living room via the chimney, leaving a cloud of soot as it stretched out its wings and dropped the letter into Sirius' hand. "Alice and Frank have a boy too," he smiled, passing the letter round. "Born on the Tuesday, like little Harry."

"How nice," Dumbledore said, looking at the parchment. He had stopped by for a quick visit.

"Neville?" Peter said with a wrinkled nose. Rowan slapped him around the head. "It was Frank's grandfather's name so be nice."

Rowan saw very little of Remus, in between the full moons and his own assignments Dumbledore gave him but when they did see each other she was surprised at how quickly they could slip back into the awkward friendship they once had. She hadn't intended to but she was very much in danger of being as in love with him as she had ever been; a mature young man, good looking and intelligent, Remus was well liked by every female member of the Order that stomped through the house. Yet he was equally as hesitant and inactive as he had been at eighteen, and he never got further than being kind to anyone.

Another December passed in the house, another Spring, and soon it was the beginning of summer again. Rowan was in the kitchen scrubbing furiously at a mug when Nikki strolled in with her hands in her pockets and yawned as she looked for something in the drawers. She surveyed Rowan with curiosity. "The boys used magic last night to wash up, and as convenient as it is, it missed a lot of spots." She showed her the tea stained cup and Nikki smiled.

"I thought you'd fallen prey to the urge to clean things," she laughed. "I feel like that, living with adult men."

Rowan snorted. "Men? They're no different to how they were at Hogwarts. Apart from Sirius. He's being very well behaved at the moment. But then again, you've got him wound around your little finger."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "James seems to have become grounded with fatherhood, but he's never here obviously. How old is Harry now?"

"Nearly one."

"Oh," Nikki smiled before picking up a cup, and examining it with a frown. "This is disgusting. What about Peter?" Rowan pulled a face. "He's always been nervous and jittery. They've all grown up. I just meant that when you get them all together, it's like taking care of children."

Nikki sighed. "I suppose you miss Ralph and Isla," her friend remarked, picking up a towel. Nikki nodded. "I'm only allowed a little contact with them; they were moved into hiding for their own safety but I can't just pop over willy-nilly," she said sadly. "But they're safe. And at least the attack on some of the Magistrates woke Magnus up. I guess the war finally became their problem," she said with a wicked smile.

Rowan laughed shortly, and nodded.

"Where's Remus?" Nikki asked innocently. Rowan looked up and out of the kitchen's small window. "Full moon tomorrow," she said wearily, staring off into the distance. It was nearly nine and only just growing dark; a pinkish hue surrounded the nearly complete orb that hung in the summer sky. _Where was he now_, Rowan wondered, as she looked out over the back garden and beyond the houses of London, the glittering lights flickering in the distance. He had to take himself away from the city each month to transform and she wondered sometimes if he went all the way back to Hogwarts, to the Shrieking Shack. Nikki nudged her kindly, snapping her back from her own thoughts.

"You were miles away," she teased gently.

"Yes," Rowan admitted. "Sorry, I was. It's just...we always used to go with him. All of us. So it's a little difficult."

"When's he going to make his move then?" Nikki asked with a grin, rinsing the cup in her hand a final time to remove the soap suds before placing it on the drier. Rowan chucked her a tea towel with a bitter laugh. "Yeah. That's the million dollar question."

"Oh come on, he likes you though?" Rowan shrugged. "Look, just because you and my brother are all loved up doesn't mean you can interfere with what Remus and I have." She looked pensive. "Whatever it is."

Nikki raised an eyebrow. "Why don't you talk to him?"

"I wouldn't have a clue what to say!" Rowan said, exasperated, throwing her towel on the side. "Besides, I'm sick of it all. I look at you and Sirius and James and Lily and even Alice and Frank, who quite frankly, are the most bizarre, albeit sweet, couple I've ever met and I just...feel like...it's never going to happen for me."

"Well it won't," Nikki said rolling her eyes and putting her hands on her hips, "if you don't do something about it. Stop waiting for him! I know he's shy but...Merlin, he's getting on _my _wick and I haven't been waiting for him to get his act together as long as you have. You're a very patient woman," she said with a sigh.

Rowan laughed in spite of her troubles. "Patient is not something people usually call me, but yes, I suppose you're right."

"Nikki!" someone called from the lounge. It took Rowan a few minutes to realise it was her brother. Strolling up to the kitchen he poked his head around the door. He was dressed in a suit and wore a travelling cloak. "Nikki," he repeated softly, looking at her adoringly with his grey eyes. "I have to leave now." She looked grave and walked over to him. "Ok, Secret Keeper," she mused wrapping her arms around his neck quickly. Sirius was headed to the Potter's to become their Secret keeper; they were wanted by Voldemort and it was no longer safe for them to be in the open. Her brother looked drawn and nervous; his usual self-confidence escaping him as he realised the responsibility upon him. Nikki pulled away, but he grabbed her. "I'll be back soon, don't worry," he smiled, planting a kiss on her lips. She rolled her eyes. "I _can_ cope without you Sirius Black. My life existed before you met me."

He pulled a cocky grin, and for a ghost of a moment, he was himself once more. "Yeah but, it's a more meaningful existence now, right? There's a Muggle phrase isn't there? Once you go Black, you never go back or something..." He grinned.

"Yes," Rowan said in an irritated voice, ushering him from the kitchen by pushing him. "But it doesn't mean that."

****

It was a few days later when Remus pushed open the door to Grimmauld Place and shook off his cloak. It was raining heavily and quite a cold night; even apparating from Hogsmeade to London had soaked him to the skin, and he was so tired. A new potion, Wolfsbane, had just been created and although it was supposed to make him much calmer when he was in wolf form, he still did not want to take the chance of being anywhere near civilisation, let alone the house. He shivered, remembering the taste of the awful potion and wondered if they'd ever be able to make a Butterbeer flavoured one.

Nikki poked her head around the door of the lounge and smiled at him. "I thought it was you." She was whispering. "They're having a meeting; Dumbledore and some of the others I mean." She gestured to the living room and brushed some hair out of her face. "You ok?"

"Tired," he murmured and as if to prove himself, he rubbed one of his eyes. "Where's Rowan?" he asked. Nikki raised an eyebrow and looked at him intently with her bright eyes. She had a knack for looking right through him and into his heart, which he supposed must be something to do with the fact she was from the East. "She's in the kitchen," Nikki said stiffly. "I hope you don't think this is forward," she added, stepping into the hall and shutting the door quietly. "But I think I have to speak my mind."

Remus looked at her with an amused expression. "I've never known you to hold back, even though we've only known each other a little while." She smirked disapprovingly but sighed deeply. "This is serious. My friend is involved."

Remus stood as straight as he could and crossed his arms. He winced a little as his body was still aching from the full moon. "What's wrong with her?"

"I think she's lonely," Nikki said. "Well, I know she is. But I also know she's waiting for you. And she'll wait for you forever probably. If you have even half the affection for her I suspect you do..." she paused, frowning, "It's not fair to do this to her. If you love her, you'll tell her," she said bluntly. Remus thought he saw a crackle of something spark behind her eyes with protection and in an instance he realised she was right. His face and posture softened. "It shouldn't have taken someone else to tell me that," he said ashamed. "But I've always been apprehensive when it comes to my own happiness."

"But it's not just about your happiness any more. Rowan's is involved too."

He looked at Nikki and nodded with a smile. Walking past her to the kitchen, he touched her shoulder. "Thank you. You're a good friend. I hope she knows how lucky she is."

*****

Rowan was staring out into the garden through the back door which was wide open; the sound of raining hammering on the roof of the house and the stone of the patio was almost deafening. Remus hadn't meant to enter the room so quietly but she was so lost in thought, leaning against the frame of the door and watching the rain and lights so intently, she almost jumped out of her skin when he cleared his throat.

"You're back," she smiled. "Pleasant trip?"

"As always," he said sarcastically. "You know I've always maintained I know how you girls feel every month."

She grew serious. "Menstrual cycles are far worse than lycanthropy."

He laughed and shook his head. "Well, you'll never know. Hopefully."

She didn't say anything, only turned back to shut the door. "Sorry it's chilly in here," she said after a little while. "I know you get cold easily after the full moon but the storm was so pretty and everything smelt so fresh. Did you see the sky?" she asked. He nodded remembering the charcoal grey clouds, rumbling across the horizon. He watched her closely as she went to get him a drink. Rowan told him to sit down and rest but he ignored her; he already felt much better for seeing her. Pulling out some chocolate from his pocket he bit into a square and offered her some, which she took with a smile. "I can't believe this makes you better."

Remus looked at the brown chocolate and smiled.

She carried on talking for a little while, telling him about the meeting in the other room and how Dumbledore was concerned that Voldemort was planning something big, and then she filled him in on Sirius' trip to become Lily and James' Secret Keeper. All the while, he watched her, pacing himself to tell her what he had come to say. She barely looked at him as she spoke but kept bust; tidying things away, washing up and finally handing him a cup of something warm.

"And no one's heard from Frank and Alice for a while; they left Neville with his grandmother..."

"Just...stop a second," Remus said suddenly, with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. She stopped immediately. "Sorry, do you have a headache?" she asked. Remus snapped his head up to look at her. "You're always thinking about me and my needs aren't you?" he smiled.

Rowan coloured slightly in the dim light of the kitchen. "Well, you're my friend..."

He rose. "Look, I need to speak to you and I'd appreciate it if you just let me, work my way through it. To be fair, I have had a lot of time to perfect it but...still... you know me, and you know I'm not great at..." he paused. "Opening my mouth."

She crossed her arms. "I don't understand."

"I made a mistake," he sighed. "When we were eighteen, I just...dithered about the way I felt and I let you slip through my fingers and believe me," he said with a raised eyebrow, "that's a decision that I have regretted every single day of my life."

Rowan's breath caught in her throat.

"You also know that I'm particularly gifted at talking myself in to and out of things," he smiled. "I have always had that great knack for thinking too much and never acting. So believe me when I say this isn't only the _second_ time that I've tried to tell you how I feel about you. I have wasted many opportunities," he added, mostly to himself.

"Remus," she tried to say, but he waved a hand. "Please, let me finish. I don't know if now is a good time to start a relationship, in the middle of a war, when everyone's always off doing something but I can't sit by any more." He stepped a little closer. "I also don't know if you'll want me," he laughed sadly, "seeing as it's taken me this long and I've hurt you so terribly."

"Remus," she interjected again.

"And I know that I'm not around every month, but there's little I can do to change that. Although, I'd rather you weren't around that danger, I suppose you used to be."

"Remus..."

"I just," he sighed, ignoring her and staring past her, and looking through the window. "I guess I'm asking for another chance," he continued. She opened her mouth to speak but someone yelled, "Rowan! We need you," from the other room.

"Coming!" Rowan called back. She smiled apologetically and gestured to the door. "I better go," she sighed stepping away from the closeness he had made between them, but before she could make it two feet from him, Remus grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him in a sudden kiss. She let her arms snake around his neck once she'd gotten over the shock.

"I hadn't finished," he murmured, letting their foreheads touch when they were done.

"Oh," she managed, breathlessly. He laughed quietly and kissed her again. "Where was I?"

"Something about giving you another chance, even though were in the middle of a war," she muttered with a smile.

Remus pressed his lips to the top of her head as they stood in an embrace. "Yes," he said wistfully. "It's the war that made me think actually." He looked down into her eyes. "What if I lost you? And I'd never told you how I felt?"

"I knew," Rowan said. "But...it's nice to hear it." He stroked her cheek with his thumb as he had done in the library when they were teens and leaned back down to meet her lips with his own.

Nikki and Sirius were standing by the door, concealed from view with their own arms wrapped neatly around each other's waists. "See," she murmured close to his ear. "He just needed some encouragement." They began to walk away, to leave them in privacy.

"Finally!" Sirius laughed, throwing his head back. "I couldn't feel more relieved if it had been me involved."

"Well, yes. I understand it's been a long time coming," Nikki chuckled standing in front of him. She was leaving for a few days, to chase up Frank and Alice's disappearance. He handed her cloak.

"Yes," he said darkly, "but I wonder how long it will last." She frowned, and flexed her fingers, before concealing them in her cloak. "What do you mean?"

"Those two will find any excuse to destroy their own happiness; especially Remus. He has some kind of complex, like being a werewolf isn't punishment enough; he has to isolate himself to prevent anyone from harm." Sirius sighed sadly, brushing some hair from her face. "I'm not being pessimistic when I ask how long it will last, I'm being realistic."

Nikki stood on the balls of her feet to reach his lips in a parting kiss. "Well, I'm an eternal optimist and I say that there's no one else but each other for them." She left a few moments later, throwing her hood up to protect her from the onslaught of unrelenting rain, leaving Sirius in the foyer. He put a hand to his lips thoughtful. "I hope you're right," he whispered to himself.


	18. Misplaced Heroics

Chapter 18 – Misplaced Heroics

It lasted all of five days before something terrible happened.

Remus and Rowan were sat on the sofa; his arm draped over her shoulder casually as she read a book and he stared at the fire. He was deep in thought, thinking how nice it was to just be comfortable in her presence and to be able to hold her without wondering if she'd mind, or if it was ok. Sirius was watching them curiously, diverting his eyes whenever Remus caught him staring.

The house was quiet although it was full of members. Dumbledore had called them for a meeting but he hadn't arrived yet, and no one had heard from Nikki since she had left. Rowan had found her brother hunched over in the early hours of the morning, waiting, just in case she should arrive, until exhaustion beat him and he fell asleep on the battered sofa.

Minutes later, Dumbledore apparated and swept into the living room with a soft expression. "Thank you for coming," he said quietly. He glanced around. "No Nikki?"

Rowan shook her head as she closed her book. Remus watched the worry that was obvious on Sirius' face creep into her eyes.

"No matter," Dumbledore said gently. "We'll continue." He began speaking quickly about a movement of Death Eaters trying to take down the East. "Of course, they're having very little luck, seeing as only those who are from the East, know the location."

"What about Eastern witches or wizards who are tempted by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Mad Eye Moody said gruffly, glancing at the twins as if implying that Nikki's absence meant disaster for the Order. Sirius rose and stiffened but calmed himself by standing next to the fire.

"As far as I know, and Peter has been listening in at Voldemort's meetings, he has no Eastern alliances."

Remus frowned. "That surprises me. I know Nikki's one of us but they seem like the sort of people who would be easily persuaded by power."

Rowan turned to look at him. "No, it's the opposite. They're powerful already. They have their own royalty, not dissimilar from the pure-blood families we have, and the Magistrates and High Wizard keep everything in order. They don't need the Wizarding world, and they certainly don't want to be told what to do by anyone. There are few who would oppose Magnus Zion such as Nikki has but she is still bound by the Court." He looked thoughtful. "I doubt very highly if Voldemort could entice any of them to join him," Rowan added, turning back to the wizened old man.

The sound of a door flying open alerted them and they all rose drawing their wands. Seconds later, Nikki ran into the room; her face flushed from running, her breath heavy and her hair blown back by the wind. She looked horrified. Sirius rushed forward to grab her, because she looked as if she couldn't stand, and held her in his arms. "What's wrong?" he asked frantically.

"Frank and Alice," she wheezed slightly. "He has them. Bellatrix is torturing them for information!"

The room fell into a shocked silence before erupting into outcries. Nikki nuzzled her face into Sirius' top; she was good friends with the Longbottoms and was obviously distressed. Rowan looked at everyone.

"Then we should do something to help," she cried, grabbing her sweater from the sofa and pulling it over her head. It took her a few moments to realise no one else was moving. They were all staring at her.

"Why aren't you guys doing anything?" she asked furiously.

"Because we can't just march into his lair!" Moody barked, his eye wandering erratically. He and Rowan always came to blows, and he was the first to criticise her. "For one thing it could be a trap!"

"You always think everything is a bloody trap!" she retorted.

"It always is," he hissed. "Think about it and listen, girl; He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named expects us to act the heroes. We'd be playing into his hands."

"Well I don't mind being predictable," Rowan said crossing her arms, "If we get Frank and Alice back."

Remus touched her arm gently and she spun around swiftly to face him. "We can't just go in headfirst, Rowan," he said slowly. She looked at him with a frown and he watched as a betrayed look crossed her face. "You propose we just sit here," she said quietly through her teeth. "And wait for them to be killed? Just because he won't expect it?"

"No, I..."

"Nikki?" she said, ignoring Remus. Her friend looked up. "You're certain this is true."

Nikki nodded. "Yes."

"Will _you _help me?" Nikki nodded and pulled away from Sirius, but he grabbed her arm. "No you will not," he commanded. Nikki looked at him with a warning expression and Rowan watched as her friend's fingers seemed to crackle with energy.

"No one is going to go," Dumbledore said clearly, his quiet voice breaking through the angst and noise. "You may not like that Rowan, but I hope you have enough respect to obey my decision." He looked over his spectacles at her, with sad eyes. She could not look him in the face.

"I can't _stand _this," she murmured before storming out to the garden. "I need some air."

Remus went forward but Sirius shook his head. "Give her some time, mate."

****

Rowan slammed the door and stepped into the cool evening air. She was flushed with rage and couldn't stop herself from kicking down a potted plant with all the anger she could muster. She winced slightly as the terracotta shattered and wondered if they'd heard inside. _Good, who cares if they did_, she thought bitterly. Unbelief gripped her heart again. Why wouldn't they do anything? Their friends were being tortured as they spoke, and Dumbledore and others wanted to sit and plan how to go about it, like it were some sort of dinner party.

Rowan put her fist to her mouth as she seethed; the anger she was feeling wasn't quelling with time like she hoped it would. The worst part had been Remus – she had expected him to back her up. _No_, she thought snidely, _he was as passive as ever. He never does anything! _

She looked back to the house and in a quick decision, pulled out her wand. This wasn't about respect; this was about doing what was right. Those were her last thoughts before she apparated out of the garden and into the night.

****

Breaking into a run as she descended from a wispy silvery cloud, she found herself in a dark corridor and headed towards some equally as black doors. The lustrous gloom reminded her of Grimmauld Place but it all screamed Slytherin; snake heads adorning every pillar, ornament, and doorway. The marble walls had a hint of emerald green. She didn't take much time to observe her surroundings as she, without hesitation, pushed open the doors with an almighty heave and strolled into the Dark Lord's court.

To say they were surprised, the Death eaters and Voldemort, would have been an understatement; as Rowan stormed her way through it towards the man seated on a chair raised above the others. He was a shadow of the human he had once been; pale and sinister, he looked more like a snake with diamond slits for eyes and very little hair. His robes swamped his skeletal figure, as if his body had been drained of all its life force. However, his expression was not weak and she knew better than to underestimate him.

Surrounding him were Death eaters, most of whom she recognised; Lucius Malfoy looked sick as he watched her approach and Severus' eyes grew dark. "Well, well, well," sneered the Dark Lord, narrowing his eyes at her. "Who do we have..."

He didn't finish as Rowan raised her arm and yelled "_Expelliarmus!_" at the top of her lungs. To everyone's great surprise, Voldemort's long wand flew from his fingers and into her own hand. He didn't flinch or look shocked; he merely sat back in this chair with an amused expression. The Death Eaters had all risen and raised their own wands, pointing them directly at her.

"You have my attention," Voldemort hissed with a smile.

Lucius turned to him and said something in a low voice. Voldemort nodded and turned his gaze back to the woman, who was breathing heavily and gripping both wands tightly. "Miss Rowan Black, I understand?" the Dark Lord smiled, rising from his throne effortlessly as if he were part of the air. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Where are the Longbottom's?" she said through her teeth. There was a low, evil chuckle from those in the room before Voldemort said blandly, "I'm afraid they're not in my charge. Bellatrix has been taking care of them. She's a wonderful hostess." His eyes lit up with a sparkle of malice, and Rowan shook.

"Release them!" she tried, but Voldemort laughed, and its cold tone echoed around the room. "You were right Lucius, she is rather fiery. I can see why you might have preferred her to darling Narcissa initially. What makes you think that I would just let them go? You've come here alone, rather foolishly I might add, and if I give the word, my men will kill you in a second. Then I will take my wand from your cold dead fingers and be done with you." He spoke so coolly and calmly, she shivered but didn't relent in her stance.

"You know," she said trying to sound braver than she felt. "You're pretty hated by the Wizarding World."

"I am not in the business of being liked. Worshipped maybe," he smirked, stepping close to her..

"I don't hate you," Rowan smiled.

"Oh no?" Voldemort's eyes shot up as he grew intrigued. "Maybe we have a new recruit, gentlemen." The Death Eaters laughed again. "What is your opinion of me?" he asked pacing slightly.

"I pity you." He laughed shrilly but regarded her coldly. "Pity? What is there to pity? I am a great wizard, greater than Dumbledore perhaps. I am feared. How can you pity me?"

"Because you boil down to _nothing_," she replied. "You rule by fear but fear has an enemy."

He narrowed his eyes at Rowan. "Love?" he hissed.

"You underestimate it."

"I see it for what it is," he cried. "You came here, _in love_, for your friends, who are beyond saving now. And because of your _love_, you'll be killed. Those ruled by love are fools and will surely die." He paused. "Bellatrix!" he bellowed, touching this tattoo of a skull on his forearm; that all his followers shared. In an instance the sound of a cackling witch, laced with venom, filled the hall and seconds later, Bellatrix Lestrange landed in a whirlwind of black smoke. She staggered forward still laughing, her wild hair hanging about her gaunt face as she grinned at Voldemort.

"Master," she said curtseying. Her intense eyes fell on Rowan and she began to giggle. Rowan lifted her chin with pride.

"Hallo Cousin!" she crowed. "What a pretty surprise seeing you here." She smirked. "Come to hand yourself in? We'll end it nice and quick for you...or not." She giggled once more.

"Calm yourself, Bella," Voldemort reprimand as if he were talking to a naughty child, and to Rowan's surprise, she acted as if she were too. "Sorry, my master."

"How are our guests? Your cousin came to see them." he asked, throwing a glance at Rowan. Bellatrix laughed and put her hands on her hips. "They've not said a thing, and while she's a bit past it, he's still going strong. A couple more hours I'd say. I think her mind was gone a bit already but now..." she put hands to her lips in delight. "Oh no, she's cracked _wide open_!"

Rowan shot forward and threw herself at the woman, who screeched in shock as she landed backwards with Rowan on top of her. Once she'd pinned her down, Rowan drew back a hand and smacked her cousin in the mouth repeatedly. "Master!" Bellatrix cried, in between punches, raising her hands to defend herself. "My Lord, do something!"

He stood back watching with an amused expression. "I'm quite enjoying this display of Miss Black's temper actually."

Lucius looked from his sister-in-law's attack back to the Dark Lord but concealed his thoughts in his face. Voldemort looked at him. "You disagree?" he asked. Lucius shook his head. "Oh very well," Voldemort sighed. "Kill her."

Rowan had not given much thought to her actions as she'd catapulted herself upon Bellatrix and begun hitting her; her only coherent thought that this would be a good way to die, inflicting pain upon her cousin who had teased her through childhood, victimised her through adulthood and now, had destroyed the mind of her friends. Lucius raised his wand just as she paused to catch her breath. "Avada Ked..." he began, the tip of his wand glowing green.

The rushing sound of wind filled the Court and the doors swung wide open. Everyone paused and stood still; Bellatrix was whimpering beneath Rowan, who sat back confused and wiped her face with the back of her hand. Lucius halted. The Death eaters lowered their wands and looked around, but the sound of the wind died down. Voldemort put out his arms and threw his head back with his eyes closed.

Suddenly, pillars of white mist as fine as sand descended and from them, the forms of Rowan's friends appeared each grabbing a Death Eater. Bellatrix pushed her from her and scrambled away mumbling in confusion. Moody took hold of Snape, Sirius held Lucius at wand point and Nikki apparated somewhere behind Bellatrix. Finally, the forms of Remus and Dumbledore landed beside Rowan. "The Order," she muttered, rising. Voldemort was leering at the old wizard, who looked grave.

"Old friend," he hissed, his tongue reverberating every syllable. "You've come at last."

"Not under the circumstances I would have liked."

Voldemort bent down to pick his wand up, which Rowan had dropped in her struggle with Bellatrix. She cursed under her breath.

"You have a loose cannon in that one," he said, gesturing towards Rowan with his wand between his fingers. Remus looked at her with a cold expression. "You should have kept her on a tighter leash."

"She was moved by injustice," Dumbledore said harshly, "I cannot penalise her for her heart."

Voldemort scoffed. "It's been too long, Headmaster."

"It's not too late Tom," Dumbledore pleaded.

"I have told you not to call me that!" Voldemort bellowed, raising his wand and shooting out a violent jet of fire. The old man moved quickly as did all the Order, as they found themselves all locked in a vicious duel. Rowan turned to Bellatrix, who had regained some of her glee, despite the blood trickling down her face.

"Wanna play?" she laughed. "Come catch me!" Disappearing in the same cloud of evil she appeared in, Rowan didn't hesitate to follow. It had been satisfying to hit her with her own fist but Bellatrix was quick and it would take magic to end her.

As she flew after her, she could see Snape and Moody fighting; the greasy haired man firing out curses that were his own and the other wizard couldn't predict. Sirius had lowered his wand, laughing as Lucius stumbled forward and he sent him back again with a heavy punch. "I have wanted to do this for years, you cretin," he laughed loudly.

Rowan was so focused on those on the ground she didn't see Bellatrix double back and hit her out of the air by heading into her full pelt. The wind was knocked out of her as she fell and hit the ground with a loud thud, falling into a heap. Rowan groaned as she tried to pick herself up; nothing was broken but her body was aching. Sheer willpower and the desire to destroy everything she hated motivated her. Bellatrix touched the ground feet away and was met with a stunning curse from Rowan.

"Get out of here!" Remus yelled to them over the sound of airborne magic; some of the Order vanished seconds later.

Bellatrix had gotten up. "Now that's not playing fair, is it?" she sneered. Rowan moved her neck until she heard it crack. "When have you ever played fair, Bella?" The other witch shrugged and launched herself at her. They struggled, but soon Rowan was back on the ground with her cousin hovering over her menacingly with her wand.

"Time to put the toys away," Bellatrix laughed.

"These puns," Rowan croaked, "they're terrible." Rowan grimaced as Bellatrix's wand glowed with green but was silenced by Sirius, in animagus form, leaping across and mauling her. Her cries were only dimmed when she fell unconscious.

"Rowan!" Nikki cried from across the court as she battled Avery, another Death Eater. Rowan looked from her brother to her friend and picking herself up, she ran screaming "_Stupefy_!" as she did. When the man fell down, she grabbed Nikki pulled her away.

"Leave now!" she cried. "I shouldn't have come! Everyone! Leave!"

They all heard her cries and one by one started to apparate out of the lair before they could be hurt or killed. Bellatrix was beginning to stir from the crumpled heap she lay in. Dumbledore and Voldemort were locked in a deadly battle, neither duellist relenting with their jets of magic. Remus looked back for Rowan and held out an arm. She shook her head, looking for her brother. Spotting him fighting with Severus, she ran to grab him.

"You...greasy...git..." Sirius cried, kicking and punching the man. "She's happy with James! Did you hear? They had a baby!" His words seem to knock Severus down and hurt him more than the physical blows. Rowan grabbed her brother. "We're leaving," she said, pulling him away from the crying man.

It was Nikki who spotted Snape making his move. Stirred to anguish by the taunts Sirius had made, Severus looked for the one thing that would hurt Sirius the most if he lost; Rowan. Raising his wand, and with utter malice he yelled "_AVADA KEDAVRA!" _but Nikki cried out and pushed her friend out of its path, falling down as the poisonous green hit her square in the back. "Nikki!" Rowan and Sirius screamed in unison as they watched her land on the stone floor, sprawled out and instantly motionless.

"You!" Rowan yelled at Snape through angry tears. "You bastard!" She rose her wand and begun the killing curse; a curse she'd sworn never to use. "Avada..."

She heard the sweeping sound of people apparating behind her and felt two strong arms grab her from behind before she could finish. "Enough," Remus said in a low voice, stern and cold, by her ear. She struggled and sobbed and tried to break free but she felt the air around her move once more and the lair disappeared in smoke.


	19. Doing What's Right

Chapter 19 – Doing What's Right

There was no quiet when they all arrived back at Grimmauld Place. Moody had collapsed on the sofa, most of the Order were covered in cuts or bruises; the blood on them was indistinguishable as their own or someone else's. Even Dumbledore stumbled through the door weakly.

Sirius hadn't moved with Nikki's body; stunned into silence, he cradled her lifeless body and let tears roll down his face. He looked bedraggled and confused, as if what had happened had been some kind of terrible nightmare. Rowan wished it was.

"Come with me," Remus said stiffly, half dragging her from the foyer where everyone was standing, staring, crying, and pulled her into the kitchen. "Outside," he said. Once they were in the garden, Rowan yanked her arm from his grasp and went to sit on the bench they had there; old and decrepit, it groaned as she threw herself down.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Remus began, not holding back and shouting. She began to sob again, her body racked with guilt and despair.

"Of all the reckless, stupid things, Rowan!" He was pacing furiously, throwing down his own cloak and not letting himself look at her, hunched over with her head in her hands. "What on earth possessed you? Do you have no value on your life? Or anyone else's? How could you be so selfish?"

His questions made her look up to see him standing running his fingers through his hair, and brushing it back from his face. "No, I was thinking about Alice, and Frank, and Neville!"

"Your temper got the better of you, as per usual, and now Nikki is dead!" he cried. "You could be! Have you thought of that?" he was breathing erratically. "I know you don't care but I would! You always have to go head first into things without thinking. Impetuous...you're a damn fool! You put all of us in danger, not just yourself. Why do you always have to play the bloody hero?"

She made a noise half way between a sob and a bitter laugh and tucked her knees under her chin. Remus kept quiet for a moment. "Sirius will never forgive me," she whispered, almost so quietly that Remus couldn't hear.

"Sirius is the least of your problems," he said gravely. "You've more than likely hacked Voldemort off, made an enemy of yourself. I'll be surprised if he doesn't send people after you like he has done James and Lily." He sighed when he saw her teary face. Her hair was wild from the fight and hung about her in thick tendrils. "Rowan, why didn't you just stop and think?"

She went to speak but the words caught in her mouth and rising she tried to go back to the house. "No," he said a little more gently than before, grabbing her. His grip was strong. "Just stay out here a moment. Let them just sort things out."

She tried to pull away but as the tears built up in her chest once more she threw herself into his arms, clinging to his shirt fiercely and struggling to breath. He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. "Oh Rowan," he murmured. "It breaks my heart to see you like this but...you were wrong."

"It's all my fault," she said hoarsely into his chest.

He stroked her head and began to feel that the front of his shirt was soaked with her tears. He didn't want to admit it but there was no denying, if she had not gone...no, it didn't do well to think of it.

"You're heart was in the right place, and I know that you were thinking of Frank and Alice," he managed to say, tilting her chin back to see her face. "But we're a team; we don't work by ourselves."

"_You_ weren't going to do _anything_!" she cried, thumping his chest and looking at him with stormy eyes. Remus frowned. "You all sat around and said nothing could be done."

"Nothing could be done! The worst had already happened!" She pulled away from him in fury and stomped to the end of the garden. "I'm sick of never doing anything!" she cried out, wiping her eyes. "We just sit and wait for everything to happen!"

"And look where acting rashly has gotten you," Remus said, exasperated. Rowan turned to him with a horrified expression.

"Remus," someone said from the door. In the dim light they could see it was Edgar Bones. "Peter just got back with some news. Voldemort's furious with her." Remus glanced at Rowan with a grim expression. "He's looking to take out a Taboo, at Bellatrix's insistence. Or so Peter says." The man sniffed; his own face was aged by a cut stretching across his cheek.

"What about..." Remus asked quietly.

"Sirius is upstairs and refusing to see anyone." Edgar bowed his head before ducking back inside.

"Did you hear that?" Remus said, storming over to her and taking her by the arms. "A Taboo! So he'll be able to hunt you down and kill you! So he'll be able to find us!"

She didn't say anything. He felt her shiver and wondered if it was with fear or cold. If she had any sense it'd be fear, but she was a Marauder and they'd always managed to convince themselves they were invincible.

"Then I'll have to leave," she said after some time, composing her voice. It seemed she had finished crying, but she didn't look at him. "I'll have to go."

"Rowan..."

"No, Remus. How can I stay? I've already put the Order in danger tonight. Because of me my friend is dead and my brother is in pieces. He'll never speak to me again," she whispered. "It could have been even worse. This is the least I can do," she said firmly.

He shook his head. "No. I'll come with you."

It was her turn to object. "You _can't_. You'll still be in danger then."

Remus sighed. "Let me get Dumbledore," he said weakly, wiping a remaining tear from her cheek, and kissing her forehead. She didn't move or return his affection. "He'll be able to sort this out." She gave him a hopeful smile, weak, and suddenly, he saw what she looked like as a child again.

Leaving her in the garden, he closed the door and went to look for Albus. "Professor," he said weakly. "How is he?"

"He won't speak to anyone," Moody barked from the sofa, where he lay. He groaned as she shifted position. "And everyone's got some kind of injury. I got off lucky it seems! I hope she's damn well pleased with herself!"

"Alastair," warned Dumbledore, his kind eyes flashing. "It wasn't Rowan's fault."

"Well, I'm glad you see it that way," Moody snorted. "Because the way I see it, if she hadn't of gone off, hell for leather, Nikki would be alive. I wouldn't be injured. And Voldemort wouldn't be starting a hate campaign against her."

Remus ignored his grumblings and turned back to Dumbledore. "You heard about the Taboo."

"Yes. Grave circumstances. What did she say about it?"

Remus rubbed his forehead, feeling much older than he was. "She wants to leave. She thinks its best."

"It may well be," Dumbledore said sadly. "With the Taboo hanging over her head." He paused. "I'll talk with her and we'll see what arrangements can be made. She made need to go away for a time, for her own safety. I understand Bellatrix is on the war path."

Sirius appeared at the top of the stairs and cleared his throat. "Where's my sister?"

"Outside," Remus said grimly. Sirius nodded and stepped down. "I want to speak to her," he mumbled. He was holding a cloak and Remus thought he recognised it as Nikki's; his hair was as wild as Rowan's and with the same lost expression it was easy to see her within Sirius' face.

"I don't know," Remus said, apprehensive of a fight starting between the twins, but Sirius shook his head and touched Remus' arm. His fingers were cold on Remus' skin

"I want to tell her it's ok. She'll put all the blame on herself, you know her as well as I do. Nikki saved her life," Sirius said quietly. "She didn't have to die; she pushed Rowan out of the way." Remus looked at him with a pained expression. Sirius touched his arm. "Friend," he murmured. "I'm not going to shout at her or attack her; you don't have to protect her."

"I have to protect her from herself," Remus said sadly, motioning for the two men to come with him. "She's in pieces."

The night was very cold and Remus found his teeth chattered when he opened the door again. The draught blew through the house and Moody grumbled from the living room about 'opening and shutting the door'. Sirius pulled Nikki's cloak closer to him, lowering his head as if inhaling her scent. "Rowan," Remus said into the dark. "Sirius wants to talk to you."

Dumbledore brushed past him and headed to the end of the garden. "She's gone," he murmured. "The air tastes like steel; she's apparated."

Remus' widened eyes darted from the Professor to his friend; her brother didn't look as surprised as he perhaps felt. The emotions seemed to have gone from his handsome face. "No," he said. "No! Where has she gone?" He pulled his hands from his pockets in a frenzy.

"I don't know, Remus," the older wizard said, stepping forward to touch the young man's shoulder. Remus shrugged him away and sprinted down to where they had been standing. He was right; the air was thick with scent of an apparition – she had not been long gone. Sirius joined him as Remus put his hands to his head and crouched to the ground, taking deep mouthfuls of air to compose himself, to make sure he didn't break down in front of his friend. Sirius bent down beside him and put an arm around his shoulder. "I called her selfish, and a fool..." Remus managed, trailing off.

"I didn't say anything," Sirius replied blankly. "She's gone thinking I hate her."

Both men stayed for a while, crouched down, holding each other for the woman they had lost that evening, in such a short space of time. It was only when Remus, usually content with cool evenings began to shiver uncontrollably, that they rose and headed back to the house. Dumbledore watched them with a sad expression. The casualties of war were not always physical.

*****

When Rowan touched the ground, she was sobbing uncontrollably and had to pause before continuing. Rowan had no idea where she was, whether she was still in England or not, but she knew her position was untraceable and those back and Grimmauld Place would be safe. She laughed bitterly when she thought back to the Yule Ball. She had told him, she had told Remus that she felt like a shadow and now that was what she had to be; a shadow, like a distant memory. They would all have to forget her to remain alive.

Looking up and wiping the fresh tears from her eyes, she sighed deeply. The place she had apparated to was dark, and the only light came from a flickering lantern. Nikki had spoken of it, just as she had told Rowan the incantation that would take her to wherever this place was, so Rowan knew that it was not commonplace. Walking over to it, she whispered the words "_Ai mael varandri sai si Aer" _in a low hushed tone. She prayed that she had not gotten it wrong.

*****

Magnus Zion was weary and displeased at being dragged from his chambers by the Eastern Guard. "There's an outsider," they said, in their native tongue. "Then kill them," Magnus had snapped. He had been sleeping badly of late and being woken in the early hours of the morning was not something that he enjoyed. Turning over in his sheets, he dismissed them, but they did not leave.

"She knows the incantations, _Enrai_," one guard muttered. "And she asked for you."

And now, Magnus found himself in his suit, draping lazily across his throne, with the Magistrates seated at his left and right. With a few exceptions of course. Minestra was still badly wounded, and Jared's death was sudden; no new Magistrate had been appointed to take his place.

The doors were opened and Rowan was shown in. Magnus' eyes took in the thin, dark haired woman wearing a cloak; she was untidy and obviously upset. Her eyes threatened to spill over but she bowed her head, and swallowed as she walked. When she met his eyes again, she had control of them.

The Court was deathly silent; the only sound was Rowan's shoes upon the black marble floor. Seven pairs of eyes followed her as she made her way through the dark room, only illuminated by flickering candles barely big enough to cast a small ray out in front of them. The gold that everything was lined with in the East caught what little light there was and gleamed elegantly. Rowan halted in front of a large marble throne, a contrasting white in a sea of black. Upon it say a man, looking bored and unimpressed. This was Magnus Zion, the High Wizard of the East.

Rowan regarded the man her friend had told her about with narrowed eyes. He was tall and very thin; his face was gaunt, his eyes almost as grey as silver and although his head was full of thick hair it was short and a stark white. He wore a tailored suit. He scanned her with his cold eyes and sighed deeply. "Who are you?" he asked in a deep voice. "And why have you come?" The Magistrates did not speak as his voice echoed around the empty hall.

Rowan swallowed hard. "I am..." she faltered. The Taboo might have been initiated, and she could not risk a hoard of Death Eaters finding their way into the East. "I am Rowan Lupin," she said boldly. "I'm here to tell you that Nikki Silvestri, a member of your Family, is dead."

Magnus stiffened and there were murmurs from the six magistrates. "Dead?" he asked, and suddenly Rowan felt as if she were in front of Voldemort again. She nodded. "She was a great friend of mine, and it was she who told me the charms necessary to reach here, should anything like this occur."

"Is that the only reason you have come?" he asked coldly.

"No," she sighed. "I seek refuge in the East." He smirked and regarded her with a curious expression. "If you knew Nikki, and she was bold enough to tell you how to enter here, then you must know that is not possible. I do not allow non-eastern witches here."

"She told me that should I need to, I could always come here under her covering," Rowan interjected. Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Nikki did a lot of things that this Court did not agree with," he said calmly.

"Yes, but she always considered herself bound to you. I made an Unbreakable Vow. I promised I would never disclose the location of the East should I ever come here. And I will not."

"That vow ended as she died," Magnus said angrily.

Rowan shook her head. "I made a promise to her as a friend. You don't know me, but that means something to me."

Magnus glanced at a Magistrate on the end and waved a hand lazily. "Go; send word to Ralph and Isla. They need to know of their sister's death." A woman rose and bowed her head before storming away.

"How did she die?" Magnus asked, sitting upright and laying his thin fingers on the arms of the throne. Rowan looked down at her feet. "She was killed; by one of Voldemort's men. A man named Severus Snape."

"Another attack!" one of the Magistrates cried. "Surely we must act now!"

"Silence," Magnus snapped, but barely raising his voice. They all fell into an uneasy quiet, with only Rowan moving, looking around at them all.

"He was aiming for me. She died to save my life," Rowan muttered, ashamed.

Magnus narrowed his eyes at her, but looked pensive. "Then we must honour that," a male Magistrate said. "If Nikki died to save her," he said turning to Magnus and speaking of Rowan as if she wasn't there, "then we are bound by duty to protect her."

Magnus looked up to the ceiling with a thoughtful expression. "I am tired of all this; wars in your world affecting ours," he said snidely. Rowan clenched her jaw. "It is not my war."

"No but you deem it necessary to get involved; to fight the battle." She looked away from his gaze. "You're not the first person who has condemned my heroics this evening."

He sighed deeply and rose, straightening his suit jacked. The Magistrates rose simultaneously. "You may stay here, for the time being," Magnus said finally with his chin raised. "But you must adhere to the laws and rules we have here." Rowan bowed her head gratefully. "Now, I am sure there is much more to your tale, but I am weary and you look it," Magnus said, the corners of his mouth twitching. "So you will be shown to your room, Miss Lupin, and we will discuss this further in the morning." Rowan nodded.

"Thank you," she sighed. She was shown to a room, as lavish as the hall and handed some clean clothes. Rowan removed her cloak; it was Remus' that she had picked up from the garden before she left, and she threw herself onto the bed and wrapped herself in it, inhaling his scent and crying for home.


	20. Amends

Chapter 20 – Amends

Present Day

Remus stared at her but she was looking away. "I'm sorry," she muttered, "But it was my way of making up for all the trouble I'd caused that night. My way of protecting you all."

"I just wish," he said, with a bitter tone. "That you'd said goodbye. If you were insistent on going, and leaving me." She looked at him with a sad expression. "I couldn't say goodbye Remus," she nudged him. I'd already spent most of the evening crying," she tried to joke.

He gave her a reproving look. "I didn't know where you'd gone, how to reach you. I couldn't even say your name. You just ceased to exist from that point on. Like I'd imagined you." He looked into the dying fire with a lost expression. "We couldn't even tell you about James and Lily..." he added, his voice breaking.

"I tried to come back for their funerals," she admitted, "but with so many Death Eaters still free and angry, it wasn't safe. The Taboo was still registered, as Demova Flately found when she started talking about me at a tea party. Besides, Magnus was very kind to me in the East, if you could call him kind." Rowan laughed bitterly in spite of it. "I was very lucky in it all."

Remus took her hand. "You were more than extremely lucky; it was an absolute miracle. And even after he 'died', well, your name was mud between Death Eaters. Ask Severus. He, on more than one occasion, heard them waging bets who would catch you and....kill you first." He coughed, and let go of her cold hand. "You really...ticked them off."

She laughed softly. "Good. And I'll bet Severus was one of the highest bidders."

They sat quietly once more, as they seemed more comfortable this way. Without realising it, they had talked away into the early hours of the morning. The lights from the house were almost all out; Rowan presumed some of the company of the house had gone to bed, and she was beginning to feel that familiar wave of drowsiness wash over her as she watched her fire die out slowly. Remus too, stifled a yawn before he stood up and said, "I think we've talked for long enough. It's time you slept in a real bed tonight." He paused, thinking about what he'd said. "I believe Molly has made you a bed in the room at the top of the stairs." He extended a hand to help her up.

Rowan smiled, and took his hand. He pulled her from the bench, but suddenly, they were too close, and that old and familiar feeling shot between them, jagged and electric, like a bird caught in a room. Still holding onto her hand, Remus looked down on her face; now this moment had come after so many years, he didn't know quite what to do. He felt seventeen again. Rowan was holding her breath as she had always done when it came to Remus; holding out, waiting, on the edge and just hoping for the final push.

The moment seemed to last hours, the silence was sharp around them. Remus moved his head forward slightly but then swallowed down on the lump in his throat, once again calming his desires, quietening the still, dull ache in the pit of his stomach. Rowan sighed. It all hurt too much. It seemed it had been too long and too much had passed between them. Both of them, stupid fools, and here she was so close she could almost taste his lips, only inches from her. She tried to move her mouth to his, but there was that old nagging reserve holding her back.

They let go of each other's hands and Rowan nodded in his direction, unable to look at him, before striding back to the house. "Goodnight," he said quietly. Tears, unseen by her friend, streamed freely down her cheeks. She wasn't crying; this was just something her body did, and she couldn't control it. Remus stood for a while, allowing the beating in his chest to subside before he too walked back.

*****

Rowan lay in the bed Molly had made, which felt alien and cold to her, after spending her life moving from one space to another. After tonight's events, she couldn't sleep, although she was tired. Oh, she was tired, more tired than anyone could know, but her heart was aching so bad and the tears had turned to a kind of hot sting in her eyes. Her chest was beginning to feel tight. Rowan wondered how long she could possibly take this. She'd managed to do this numerous times before, almost choking on what never happened, she should be an expert at it all now.

A floorboard creaked outside her door, which made Rowan sit bolt upright with her wand, until she realised it could only be Remus going to bed. Still, that didn't seem to make her feel better.

_It's now or never,_ a small voice muttered to her in her mind. _This is going to kill you both._

Thinking quickly of how it had felt to be close to him, just for that split second, Rowan leapt out of her bed and went to open the door. When she pulled it open, his dark figure turned to her on the landing, his face looking grave. His hands were in the pocket of his cardigan.

"Remus," she whispered. He looked at her tiredly.

"What is it Rowan," he said softly. "You need to sleep."

She nodded mutely and bit her lip, something she hadn't done in years. He stepped forward so he was just outside her doorway, leaning against the frame, his head resting on the wood. "Was there something you wanted?" he asked quietly. She nodded once again but only managed to open her mouth.

"I need..." she paused and suddenly felt as if she were in his shoes, faltering, stumbling as he had always done. What was wrong with her?

He smiled and gave her a whimsical expression. "It's not as easy as you'd think is it?" She frowned. He straightened up. "Shall i try? Though I've had my share of chances?" She didn't reply.

"I need you," he whispered, taking her face with his hands and pulling her lips to his, letting them touch for a brief moment before he kissed her fully on the mouth. Years of feelings flooded into her mind, and the intensity made her lose her balance. He kissed her passionately, as if he had never wanted to do anything else; his hand holding her waist, and loving the closeness of her body. "_Finally!_" screamed the voice in Remus' mind; the sheer relief was almost mind blowing. Rowan tugged gently on his sweater, pulling him into her room and shutting the door quietly behind them. They stopped briefly in the darkness, lingering for a moment in each other, taking each other in, in a new way. Remus sighed, and Rowan breathed out, her breath well and truly taken away. Within a quiet moment, he stroked her face and smiled.

"This has been so many ridiculous, wasted years in the making," he whispered in the darkness of the room.

Rowan nodded, completely wordless. He kissed her again, laughing as she brought his lips gently to the corner of her mouth. "Rowan Black, speechless," he murmured. "And I thought I'd see everything."

She put her hands on his chest, pushing him back a little, feeling his heart beat. "Look, mister, if you think for one second..."

"Will you hold your tongue, woman," Remus said, putting a finger to her lips. "I've just told you I need you, _I love you_, and you insist on lecturing me."

Rowan smiled and played with his hair before stifling a yawn. He looked at her with a loving smile and sighed. "Come on now," he said firmly. "You do need some sleep."

"Don't go," she half whispered, half pleaded. He led her to her bed and forced her to lie down but tucked himself up beside her, and let her rest on his chest. "Pass the blanket," he muttered, and threw it over them. Rowan pulled closer to him and yawned again.

"I'll still be here in the morning," he said, his tone matching the roll of his eyes, although he was just as unwilling to leave her as she was him. "Provided you don't lose your temper and do something rash."

She tried to look at his face but she was nestled in the crook of his arm and couldn't see his teasing smile. "Provided you don't get cold feet or talk yourself out of it, you mean," she said with her eyes closed.

"Harsh," he murmured, already falling asleep. He hadn't realised how tired he was and she was so warm. He ran his fingers through some of her hair and began to slip into an easy slumber.

The moon shone through the window and its beams splayed out across her bed where they lay. They had waited so long for this, for each other, and they were going to savour every second.

THE END

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Thank you reviewers and I hope you enjoyed it! Credit for the East goes to my Twan – I just expanded!


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